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[Dorymai]

Hi Ladies,
I'm wondering if any of you have had similar experiences and have any advice to offer? I know I am not suffering with depression, tried the meds and they made no difference, but I can't help feeling so awful about myself and I can't believe how my out look on life has changed! I hate to look in the mirror, have no confidence in my looks, feel about 90+(ache all over, extreme tiredness). Over the years I have hardly ever been ill and can only assume this is menopause related as my periods are erratic and I'm finding the month in which I have a period I have flushes but no flushes when I don't! I am so knocked about by this thing I feel I need to go part time in work to help me cope, although they are not open to this and this really isn't like me as I have always worked full time by choice, even when the kids were young!

Not quite sure what help I'm asking for here but just can't believe this is all due to the menopause!!

[bev567901]

Hi Dorymai,   I totally understand what you are saying. I have been knocked for six all year after being so active & happy. I am 51 next mth & only started all this for sure in Feb when I had my first early period. My doctor has only given me AD's & benzos so far & I know I am not depressed just sick of feeling poorly all year. It really does affect you in so many ways, I had no idea it would be like this. I think you will find lots of other ladies here saying the same things & they just want their old selves back. It does help though to know you are not alone. x

[Dancinggirl]

Hello and welcome Dorymai
So sorry to hear you are feeling so rough.  You don't say how old you? Have you had any blood tests done for oestrogen levels, thyroid function etc. Your symptoms could very well be meno related.
REad up all the info under the headings on the left of this screen and see what you can learn.
Keep posting - you are not alone with this.   DG x

[Joyce]

Hello, sorry to hear you're feeling rough. Doctors think ADs is what we need. I've argued this point so many times with mine. No, not depressed, just sick to the back teeth of not feeling like my usual self. Falls on deaf ears, I think. I'm not wallowing in a corner crying, just trying to get through all the aches, pains, lack of sleep as best I can. 

You're not alone. Many of us on here feel the same. 

[Ju Ju]

When I see different doctors, I am always asked if I am depressed. Is it because when they can't diagnose what is going on, then they assume it is all in the mind? I do get low when I don't feel well and when I am prevented from doing the things I want to do. When IBS is bad, I become tearful and sad, but I know I will bounce back, when the symptoms pass. I was clinically depressed as a child, so I know there is a huge difference.

Dorymai, is it the way you think you look and how you feel that is making you low? I don't like looking at myself, yet my husband, family and friends will say I look lovely. What do they see that I don't? Is this how it is for you? Or are there circumstances in your life that are causing you stress?

PS Sorry if this is muddled! 1 o'clock in the morning and insomnia..... definitely menopause related! Wishing you all the best.

[CLKD]

   depression is treatable.  Meno-problems can take longer for a GP to suss and may cost the Surgery more in prescriptions?

Keeping a food and mood diary for 3 months might help you and your GP to work through your list of symptoms which I suggest you take to your next appt..  Most of what you say could be hormone related if your periods are falling into a different pattern. 

Have a read of the menus, left of screen and do searches for your symptoms - you will then find out the threads which apply and how other members are coping.

[orrla]

and here are good explanations too:

http://www.studd.co.uk/reproductivedepression.php

[Maggies]

Hi lovely

I too use to have a shed load of energy......wondering what happened to me this last year. this meno on top of teenagers and marital probs make me wanna shout aggghhh.

So lovely lady , take one day at a time, do what you can, leave whatcha can't and know that the future will get better, rely on friends and family to help you through and keep smiling

Hugs

Lyn

[Dorymai]

Thank you so much ladies you are all so supportive! It's all good advice you are giving me here and it's lovely but at the same time also a shame that so many of us are in a similar boat! Guess I just hold on tight and keep sailing until I reach 'calmer seas'!

 Lyn I empathise with you totally as  I also have two teenagers, one doing GCSEs and the other A levels. I have been extremely happily married to the most wonderful man for over 20 years until the meno popped it's ugly head up and caused some marital problems earlier in the year. Thankfully my husband has a better understanding about it all and realised my strange behaviour is no reflection on him or our relationship as I tend to become withdrawn if I get stressed or 'overloaded'! I am completely wiped out in the evenings and like an old woman for the rest of the day, creaking/aching about the place. I also have moments when I am unable to do simple things, like yesterday I couldn't park the car in work and just wanted sit there and cry or abandon it, I forget work colleagues names, if I think about how to drive I panic but I don't think about it I'm ok...........I feel so stupid! 

I never in a million years thought the menopause would have such an overwhelming, dramatic effect on my life and not to mention those of others around me!

Love to you all x 

[CLKD]

Sounds about 'normal' to me    ..........  we have a thread here about 'doing stupid things' 

[dulciana]

Hi Dorymai

I do sympathise/empathise.  It's a thing that seems to strike out of the blue on random days.  In fact, I'm having one of those days myself today, and it's not helped by the blanket grey sky out there.  We're not going mad (although it might feel like it!) and it usually passes.   I've found that a mixture of "giving in to it" and then doing something(s) positive is helpful on days like this - that way, I end up feeling I've got it out of my system (at least for a while!) and but I've also achieved something, which makes me feel better about myself and helps the blues to go away.

I'd recommend a cuppa, too!   

[CLKD]

I'll have a cuppa please. I feel really low today.  I think it's 'that time of year' ......... when I am at home I can wear what I like, have the heating on warm or cooler, can go to bed when I want to: but at 'this time of year' I have to be more sociable ......... am already worrying about what to wear C.mas/Boxing Day     ..............

[Dorymai]

I agree ladies a cuppa definitely helps especially in my lovely, huge mug! Yesterday was a 'bad' day so I have made an appointment with podiatrist for extremely painful soles of my feet, decided to make an appointment with GP to check I don't need anything for my creaking bones and decided to start doing Pilates, seeing as my body won't allow me to use the new treadmill I have bought to try to lose weight! Trying to be positive and pro-active here ladies

[bev567901]

CLKD wear what you like!!!!  How about two new onesie's lets be comfy xx

[kassia]

Hello,this is my first post and this thread is so me right now. I have been feeling awful all year,the first GP I saw said she didn't think I was perimenopausal and sent me for blood tests which came back inconclusive at the start of the year. The second GP I saw said he thought I was and gave me antidepressants,they have made no difference.
I am 48 and trying hard to take on all the hints and tips but getting motivated is nigh impossible.I am constantly tired and the headaches and mood swings are crippling. I have had so much time off from work I fear for my job,although they are relatively understanding,I don't know how long it will last.
So glad I am not alone,but so sorry so many others are suffering too.