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[flushtered]

I was ditched by a so-called friend too, although OH always said that she only saw me when it suited her.  However, don't miss the contact now, sometimes 'friends' can be such hard work.

I must admit that I find it increasingly difficult to bite my tongue when in a bad mood, so if moodiness is all part of meno maybe that' s why we find our voices at this time of our life.

[CLKD]

I used to be really snappy .......... now I try to compose what I would like to say before letting rip 

[Elena]

You were right to ditch that friend Honeyb, that was just using you.

I realise that over the past decade or so I've ditched quite a few so called friends. I guess I've done my ditching so now I am happy with the ones who are left    I really appreciate them.

[Suzi Q]

One so called friend ditched me......I was very hurt. She had been planning a birthday party for one of her son's. She was getting caterers in and as I used to do that for a living I said I would help her. Before I knew where I was I had been landed with the lot. Rather than a few sandwiches she was having a full day event and I was just to be there to cook. I was not even a guest. She even wanted my daughter as a waitress.

I lost so much sleep....Hubby insisted I told her I could no longer help. It took all my courage. I lost a "friend"

Who needs pals like that.

Sometimes speaking up is the hardest thing.


Hecky Thump
I remember that you posted on here about that
Sorry you lost her as a pal but she was taking the preverbial xxxxxxxxxxxx
Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

Honeybun - I remember that situation for you.  Sad at the time.  But to be 'used' becomes less of an option, particularly once we realise it.

However, sometimes we have, for our own sanity, to speak out.  There are those that drain and those who invigorate 

[Firewalker50]

"There are those that drain and those who invigorate" - CLKD


You are so right.  I want to be one of the people who invigorate.  Not always easy at times when we are facing personal health issues and challenges, but I really do try to keep the reminder in my head, especially when I am listening to my voice  .

Fx

[CLKD]

I think maybe we need to open our conversations with "I'm not feeling so good today" or "I'm bolshie" 

[honeybun]

I had an email from my sister in law yesterday. She was talking about her other brother coming to Scotland for a visit.
I told her we had no room to put them up and also that I was going through meno and struggling with anxiety.

Hopefully she will pass this on.

It's only a little step but at last I said something.

Honeyb
x

[Joyce]

Well done HB.  Hope the message gets through. x

[Suzi Q]

Well done why should you put your brothers wifes brother up
Thats for her family to do not you or yours
Unless they volunteer xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[grumpy2008]

Yes, well done honeybun, it's not easy to be assertive if it's not something you do often... especially with family, I find. I hope everything works out well!

I told my dad (who's in his 80s) about my recent spate of grumpiness/straightforwardness and he congratulated me for standing up for myself at last!

I was with friends last night though, and found myself sinking into the background again. Two friends in particular did 90% of the talking and I wasn't in the mood to compete. I know life is like that, always has been, I just find it bothers me much more than it used to...

[CLKD]

I love to sit back and watch.  It's often that others don't notice, they are SOOOOO so busy with themselves ........... it is less of an effort to sit back 

However, sometimes it needs s.p.e.l.l.i.n.g out to relatives 

[flushtered]

Yep - it's a bit annoying to be with people who talk constantly and don't give you a chance to speak.  Tiring too - yawn, yawn.

[Suzi Q]

I call it people who just wait for their turn to talk
They dont listen to what you or anyone else is taling about
As son as theres a gap they jump in and its mostly all about them

Other thing I dont like is when people never ask about you
Im no saint but when I meet people old and new (I learnt to do this it wasnt easy) I say Hi and ask about them
It makes it easier cos you dont have to say anything and people love to tell you about themselves (I do too)
People remember you as OH that Suzi shes nice her and why cos I LISTEN I DONT JUST WAIT FOR MY TURN TO TALK

[Firewalker50]

Very true Suzi!

Although, sometimes people are nervous or shy, and try to overcome it.  They talk because they want to appear sociable.   And as you say, they don't realise the best thing they can do in some situations is simply to be a good listener, or to learn to be an active listener.

Fx