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[CLKD]

Your parents have dealt with this previously Ju Ju, shame that after such a good innings your Mum has had this happen again. 

[Ju Ju]

Yes, they know what to expect. Dad said he feels Mum is frailer than 5 months ago though. We both agree that home is where she should be if possible. I just wish he had help to clear the consequences of the incontinence. There is a silver lining to having lost his sense of smell! Dad still has his sense of humour. He didn't want to tell me in the circumstances, but knew I would be very cross f he didn't. At least I can do my usual on the end of the phone. They have a friend who is a long retired nurse, who has been supportive too.

[CLKD]

Rubber gloves and plenty of cold water followed by ......... we have found a "VAX" as well as a steam cleaning mop really useful when cleaning up after Mum's recent fall.  The steam cleaners aren't dear, are light-weight and stow neatly.  Would they consider a covering which wipes easily at the point where your Mum is taken poorly or is the situation variable?

[Ju Ju]

Oh how I wish! There have been several suggestions made along the line and Mum is resistant to all. Dad would happily take up some of my suggestions. At the moment I'm not in any fit state to do anything, organise or battle. It's frustrating. I will try and insist on disposable covers that you can quickly throw on the sheet. She does have a waterproof mattress protector. I would love to replace the carpet with something washable. Temporary coverings have the potential to trip her up.

[CLKD]

One makes the suggestions and stands well back?  Have you tried "My friend told me that XYZ (similar situation to your parents') worked when there was an emergency?" fill in gaps as appropriate?  However, if your Dad is coping ........ age notwithstanding this not your sheep, not your farm 

It's the "I can't do that Dear" retort that I get nearly every time suggestions are made that get me down, but if anyone else makes the same suggestion 

[Ju Ju]

Just heard that Mums in hospital. I've been asleep for hours, but DH took the call and didn't wake me as I had felt so ill. Apparently she had stomach pains, which isn't usual. She was taken to hospital by ambulance at 1 in the morning. Going to be hard to go back to sleep now. Feeling so frustrated and useless.

[Menomale]

Hi Ju Ju,

Did she eat something unusual? I hope they can sort it out at the hospital. You may be frustrated, but not useless because there is nothing you can do, dear!

[Ju Ju]

The trigger was a cold. This has happened a lot, though antihistamines have kept the attacks at bay for 5 months. The doctors haven't a clue why she has these symptoms. I told her she was a medical mystery! Talked to Dad this morning. She is a bit better and was able to phone him with a list of things she needs. He'll go and see her this afternoon on the bus, which stops near where they live and takes him to the hospital entrance. Takes him round all the parts of the town he doesn't need to know, but at least he hasn't the stress of hospital parking.

[Menomale]

I see, winter must be tough for elders, we don't have a proper winter here...  I've heard that a lot of elders in Europe like to go to Spain after retirement, less colds there? I wonder if the hot flushes during winter are more bearable... 

Glad to know your Dad is coping!

[CLKD]

So frustrating Ju Ju!

[Menomale]

I found my father drunk and unable to get up under heavy rain... he was bleeding from his nose and had a hematoma under one eye, he said he bumped into the bedroom door... I quit, will look for an elderly care home.

[Menomale]

Social care system doesn't work, we have to pay for everything 

[Ju Ju]

Oh Menomale, I understand the music track that you posted on another thread. I'm so sorry. Is there anyone you can ask for advise on what to do next?

Mum came home yesterday. No one contacted Dad. He had gone on the bus. They said that that was no problem and arranged for a ride in a patient bus. However, it took 2 hours to get them home. It's a 10 minute car ride. If Dad had known he would have gone back home and got the car. He has to go back for her medication today. He's exhausted.

Mums just phoned! She was in bed, but wanted to talk. She never got to a ward in 2 days, but was kept in an observation area, with 2 loos, one of which was out of order. The staff did their best.

[Menomale]

Hi Ju Ju,

I'm afraid there's no one with good advice considering the situation, I'm stuck.

Dealing with disease (all sorts) is very exhausting indeed. Maybe that's why people involved with healthcare get so cold and distant sometimes, it's hard to bear.

I hope your Mum an Dad can get some rest soon.

[CLKD]

That is not good practice Ju Ju!  It doesn't matter where patients are 'held' as long as facilities work! and they talk about stopping the spread of this disease and that bug?!?  Maybe contact the Hospital patient support group, i.e. PALS? I sent an e-mail to the guy last week with a few small suggestions following Mum's recent admission/discharge.  There is NO joined up thinking but at least we knew the day of her discharge home!

What would the Hospital have done had your Dad not been able to collect the medication? Mum was told prior to discharge that once off the Ward she was responsible for her drugs!