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[Pennyfarthing]

I am free all weekend and don't quite know what to do with myself.  I can read, knit, sit outside as the weather is fab, go to the beach, pull up a few weeds, do my online Spanish course ..... Just not sure what to do first! 

Had mum all last weekend and also  took her out for hours on Thursday to hospital, bra shop, shopping etc so I said was it OK if I didn't see her this weekend. 

[Pennyfarthing]

Well, the new recline/rise chair was delivered yesterday and Mum tells me she likes it and can work it fine!  We have been thinking about booking a holiday for ages and late last night I was tired, hubby was actually listening to me and I booked a holiday online for the first week in October to Majorca. 

Woke up this morning worrying about my decision!  Mainly because of Mum. Trouble is it has to be a certain week, it has to be from our local airport and every time I look there are less holidays available from there.  So it's done. 

There has been some improvement in my knee the last few days and I just feel I can't put off booking a holiday any longer.  If my X Ray appointment comes through before I go that's fine. 

Have to take Mum to hairdresser and dentist on Friday and between the two she will come to mine and have some lunch and a nap so I will mention my holiday then. She will say "when will you be back" as she always does! 

[Scampi]

Would it be worth looking into respite care for your mum so that you can go away and properly relax?  My grandad lived with my parents for the last 4 years of his life, and he went to a local family who offered respite care in their own home (it was arranged via Social Services) - a bit like foster care for oldies!  Grandad loved going - he got spoilt rotten for the week, the family had two young children who adored him and there was a small dog to play with!  He would 'encourage' mum and dad to go on holiday so he could go too 

[Pennyfarthing]

Would it be worth looking into respite care for your mum so that you can go away and properly relax?  My grandad lived with my parents for the last 4 years of his life, and he went to a local family who offered respite care in their own home (it was arranged via Social Services) - a bit like foster care for oldies!  Grandad loved going - he got spoilt rotten for the week, the family had two young children who adored him and there was a small dog to play with!  He would 'encourage' mum and dad to go on holiday so he could go too 

She's all of a dither tonight and took forever to answer her phone.  I will give that some thought Scampi but I doubt whether the idea will be very popular with my brothers. Thanks

[CLKD]

B..g………. the brothers  .  Your Mum, her choice …….. does she have a urine infection PennyF?

[CLKD]

Did he come back?

[Pennyfarthing]

PF your mum doesn't half remind me of how mine was. You see them one day and think "she's ok" then a few days later you find yourself worried to death because they've done or said something that's just not right. At least my brother (who lives hundreds of miles away) just lets me get on with it and is in agreement with whatever decisions I make on her behalf. I hope you get to enjoy your holiday.

Spot on!  I rang her last night and she was quite chirpy and you wouldn't think there was anything wrong with her.  The night before she was awful and really worried me.  Just going off now to pick her up! Let's see what today brings! 

[CLKD]

Maybe she was tired or had woken from a sleep?  My Mum is very low now that her brother is in one Hospital and his wife in a care home  - the situation is dragging her down and I can't help due to anxiety.

Menomale - how long do you need to stay around him?

[CLKD]

Reminds me of late M in L.  She was in Addenbrookes for treatment/investigation regarding a brain tumour.  She told us that there was money hidden in the house but the 4 of us were unable to find it.  We searched EVERYWHERE ….. when she came home 3 weeks later she went straight to the cupboard where it was hidden.    about £300.00  .

Start in the microwave PennyF., followed by the washing machine, under the mattress, in the laundry basket …… make a cuppa …….. maybe she'll remember once you are both searching.

[CLKD]

Crikey!  Maybe you need financial advice in case more turns up  .  I can't remember what someone is allowed to have in savings 'cos it's altered in recent years  .

Hope that the socks turn up!  Will be interesting to see if your Mum remembers or whether you come across them.  Wise to take it from the house though ……..  this started with a pair of hand knitted socks …….. could be funny if it wasn't quite so serious  : I can hear Victoria Wood getting to work on the scenario.

[getting_old]

My mother always liked to have some cash in the house in case she couldn't get to the bank, which is a valid reason given the number of local branches which are closing! She was also told that she had to use the cash point instead of going inside which worried her a lot as that was on a busy street and she had difficulty remembering the code.
Is it possible that the cleaner has tidied the socks away?

[CLKD]

Pennyfarthing - could you re-instate the tins on the mantlepiece trick? labelled with gas, electric, bread, milk etc.? so that a small amount of cash is put into them to settle your Mum's mind? kept in 1 place …… the rest of the monies can be in your care, we used to take M in L to the Building Society every couple of weeks to deposit what was left over from the Pension.  Really she didn't need to spend much at all, in the same way as my Mum doesn't ………. she keeps cash in a drawer 'upstairs' but I've never asked which drawer - yet.

[Pennyfarthing]

Sock saga continues. On phone tonight Mum tells me she's hunting for the socks and is so upset about her hard work. I said "what hard work?" and she reckons she knitted them!!   I said I knitted them for you the Xmas before last.  She did knit me a pair  about 13 years ago which were green and orange and the ones I made her are purple and blue.

THen she says she remembers bringing them over here a couple of months ago so would I look here as she's sure she showed them to my hubby and showed him how nice they washed.  I said "well if that's the case how come you reckon there's money inside them and you think you put them on the wardrobe shelf."   She says maybe she took the money out.  She's all confused.

We've heard today that she has to have a head scan on Sunday because she's been confused and she stumbles so I'll take her for that and hopefully it will let us know what's going on.

[Scampi]

I hope the scan gives you some answers.

I'm sure you've checked, but look under the bottom drawer of cabinets for squirreled money - my granddad kept his 'float' (as he called it) in a sock under the bottom drawer of his bedside cabinet.  You could only find it if you actually took the drawer out.

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

I've just been reading this thread with interest as so much of what is said reminds me of MIL. She's 89 and in very poor health physically but not too bad mentally. However she has a habit of ' remembering ' things that clearly never happened. A few months ago we had a lot of work done to our house which included removing a wall and lowering some ceilings. When we were telling MIL about all the disruption this caused she said she remembered all the dust from when one of her walls was knocked down and how everything had to be piled up on the stairs, we were amazed at this story as no such thing ever happened, you only had look around the house to see that all the walls were still intact! We don't argue with her as it upsets her but her daughter gets angry and challenges her all the time. Most recently MIL was recalling how she watched the Queen's coronation in 1953 on television at a neighbours house, she said she clearly recalls her baby daughter sitting in a high chair at the time. Well, SIL was listening to this story and immediately asked how that was possible when the coronation was in June and her birthday is in October! MIL looked deflated and even more confused after that. I think that although she refers to these stories as memories they are just a mixture of emotions and wishful thinking wrapped around real events.

Looking after the elderly is very hard work as you all know.

Take care everyone.

K.