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[Ju Ju]

Thanks. She's already wobbly and unsteady. She says she can't put the washing out. But she is  accepting of limitations. Dad does what she can't. The alternative was awful and life threatening.

[Pennyfarthing]

Ive been driving my mother around for weeks and weeks now to the leg ulcer clinic and for weekly dressing changes. Weve also had hair appointments, dentist, shopping and pension, we have  a hospital appointment coming up for veins and she also has a hearing test this month.

Despite living opposite her GP surgery we can never get her in there (nurse only works one day a week there so everyone books her weeks in advance) so I have to do a 30 mile round trip each time.

Yesterday I did get her in there to see the GP re gout so she was able to toddle over by herself which was great.  He has prescribed her some tablets for this (after 5 days on steroids which were marvellous) and told her to come off her high blood pressure tablets after donkeys years!  She always moans about taking them and gets in such a muddle and NOW shes moaning cos he has told her to stop them

She was complaining last night "I'll be glad when all these appointments are over" and I pointed out all she has to do is sit in the car and be driven around.  I make all the appointments, put them on her calendar, collect any prescriptions and organise my whole week around her.

[CLKD]

Pennyfarthing - is there a dedicated Ulcer Nurse in your area?  I know that some Health Authorities have them either attached to Surgeries or they work out of a hospital.  Might be worth asking.  30 mile round trip is atrocious!!!! does the GP know the distance involved?

Mine is complaining that her carer doesn't arrive to help her in and out of the bath, but she doesn't ring and complain 

[Pennyfarthing]

Pennyfarthing - is there a dedicated Ulcer Nurse in your area?  I know that some Health Authorities have them either attached to Surgeries or they work out of a hospital.  Might be worth asking.  30 mile round trip is atrocious!!!! does the GP know the distance involved?

Mine is complaining that her carer doesn't arrive to help her in and out of the bath, but she doesn't ring and complain 

THere is a leg ulcer clinic once a week between her and me. But I have 10 miles to fetch her, 5 miles to clinic, 5 miles back and then 10 miles home.

I told the nurse and asked about district nurse visiting and they will only go if the person is completely housebound or if they have no transport at all .... But of course they all know she has me! 

[CLKD]

   care in the community - NOT! 

[Pennyfarthing]

Yeah, I remember those days!

Mind you I'd still rather be ferrying her about and listening to her grumbling than going to the nursing home to listen to her talking nonsense.

According to her main carer, she's won an award this week - for managing to talk non-stop for 13 hours!  I had to laugh, the carer had placed a soft toy beside her in bed, hoping she'd be happy talking to that rather than to her 

I hear what you're saying StellaJane and you are, of course, right!  When we're actually out on these trips we have a laugh and a chat and it's OK.  ITs just the fitting everything in around the rest of my family and I feel like I never have much time to myself.

Tomorrow it's collect her and take her to hairdressers, I do her chemist/newsagent/pension stuff while she's in there and then we go on to Tesco to get her groceries where I push her round in the wheelchair and then We have some lunch out before I take her to my Dads grave then I unload her shopping, make sure she has all she needs and then I'm home mid afternoon.

SOrry about your Mum xx

[SadLynda]

PennyF, I know were you are coming from.  It can just be hard sometimes, we are waiting for an aluminium wheelchair which will help me, as the other is so heavy to push and lug in and out of the car - I think this can wear me down a bit.  Appointments have lessoned a little for me now, only one each this week (Mum and Dad).  I loose a lot of time waiting for various nurses, who seem to be unable to just ring and let us know if they will be a 'few' hours late, I do appreciate how busy they are but they know I have to be there for every appointment, surely a quick call is not too much to ask?

Mum is quite stable now, and Dad is awaiting a host of results.

[Pennyfarthing]

Well I took my Mother for a hearing test today. She told the guy she had no problems with her hearing whatsoever but came away with a pair of hearing aids!! 

HE was very patient with her when he told her to listen and when she heard a sound to press and release the buzzer.  She kept pressing and NOT releasing. After not getting anywhere he removed the buzzer and said she was to listen for a sound and when she heard it, however faint it was, to just say "Yes". 

bless her heart, she couldn't do that either and kept saying "I can hear it but it's very faint" or "Yes I can hear a different sound"  he kept saying "just say yes" and it was actually quite funny. 

She wore them coming home and we sat in the car outside the supermarket and she nearly jumped out of her seat when someone pushed their metal trolley into the others.

WE got back to hers and I went to the loo and she calling "quick, come here quick."  I ran into the kitchen and she's standing looking bewildered.  "There's something going on in here, listen. It's like something is stuck somewhere and it's scratching to get out."  After much investigation it turned out to be her big wall clock which she swears she's never heard ticking before. We had a good laugh! 

[CLKD]

The guy has obviously been in similar situations  .  It can be scary , suddenly becoming aware of noises …… hope your Mum doesn't switch them off to get some peace 

[Pennyfarthing]

Hearing aids can take a while to get used to!

OH had them early in his 50s because he was having problems hearing in meetings at work, on the phone etc.  He got used to them within a few weeks and has had few problems.

Mum and her aids has been a much more complicated story! I've lost count of  how many trips we've
had for adjustments to volume and repairs, and infact right now I have one of them on the hall table waiting to go for yet another repair! It's seemed to me like most things they're harder to adjust to the older you are.

Hope your mum perseveres with them anyway pennyfarthing. It does make life a lot easier when you don't have to keep shouting!

Thank you Stella. I rang her tonight and she had put them on herself OK. yesterday we tried together and she put them on every which way but right!   

She says she's had to turn the volume down on TV, can hear the birds singing and the clocks ticking. So far so good.  I will see her in the week and explain how to disconnect the batteries when she's sleeping and they're not in use. That was too much for her to take in yesterday. I have told her not to worry about cleaning them out as I will do that for her every week.

[CLKD]

Has your Mum accepted them Pennyfarthing?

[Pennyfarthing]

Its a good idea to take over the cleaning. Once a week done thoroughly is enough, and the batteries should last about a week too if you're lucky. 

I decided to remove the cleaning kit from my mum when I went in one day and she was poking a very fine piece of plastic tubing right into the 'works'. If the batteries aren't put in correctly its quite easy to break the little compartment doors - as has been demonstrated several times by the staff in mum's nursing home  - so they aren't allowed to touch them now either!

Thank you Stella.   She didn't have them in tonight when I rang as she's been home alone all day but says she's putting them in tomorrow to go to church.

[Ju Ju]

I'm very proud of my Mum. 20 odd years ago she collapsed at a friend's funeral, one of 4 funerals in 2 weeks, including her brother's. What was diagnosed as extreme grief was later found to be a stroke. She was not allowed to go to any more funerals other than my sister's and that tranquillised and supervised by us all. The wife of this original friend has just died after years suffering from dementia. Mum is going to say a few words at her memorial service in recognition of their friendship over more than 60 years. As she cannot walk to the front of the church, they have arranged to bring a microphone to her. I'm not worried about her doing this as they lost this friend slowly over several years. Mum will be 89 next Sunday. As she doesn't get out much, this is courageous.

[CLKD]

Get your Mum to practice a couple of times? 

[Ju Ju]

I won't be seeing her beforehand. I expect she will practise in with my Dad. But I'm sure, however it goes, it will be appreciated.