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[CLKD]

Tnx.  Fortunately by mid-day the feeling of depression is gone. 

Since I found out about Mum's narcissism I've wanted to talk to Dad about issues, many of which he was blamed for.  He was difficult, he had his own agenda ...... however.   

[CLKD]

Reading all the problems that ladies have in peri-menopause, I do wonder whether some of my symptoms may have been due to decreasing oestrogen.  However, as I was already 'used' to those symptoms and as I had been, long-term, taking AD and anti-anxiety medications whether some were suppressed.  It would never have crossed my mind that the anxiety in particular had been made worse at that time.

I do advocate certain suggestions which have helped me and my responses look flippant on the page, however: I do not mean it to be so.  My anxiety journey was at times horrific and depression took over to the point that I was unable to get out of bed.   

Little steps!

[CLKD]

 

[CLKD]

This time of year gets me down for many reasons although I love the Autumnal colours so cling to those.  I don't want to get out of bed: once I'm washed, dressed and eaten breakfast my brain improves.  Until the next morning  .  It's the "C" word that gets me down even though we no longer travel to visit relatives.  I suppose it's due to DH not 'getting on' with choosing stuff for his brother/wife  whereas me, I'm bought and wrapped by end of August 

[CLKD]

If I wasn't taking ADs regularly I would howl  when ever we drive past a lay-by where we stopped for my old dog ........ my heart thumps.  When we go on various journeys my brain 'goes back'  .  When I remember how my little cat was shut into the lounge when we were at family [2 hours away] for our silver wedding anniversary, she had to Pee in the hearth I sob internally  . .......... yet thinking about my parents' property never bothers me. 

[CLKD]

Sadly I was blindsided by sudden depression a couple of weeks ago, scary: so got an emergency face2face with our GP who agreed that I should add 5mg to my regime.  Thus far it's helping.  I never want to go back to the 1990s  .

Sadly many don't recognise the difference from anxiety and depression ........ a few people that I am in contact with keep asking how the anxiety might be  .  It's a separate condition 4 me.

[CLKD]

Since April I've slept.  A lot.  Day and night. Mainly due to the excessive heat, the soporific commentators' voices and ..... my GP suggested on Thursday that I continue with 10mg x 2, by Sat I couldn't string 2 words together  . 

My brain was numb, unable to even think of answers to threads or how to compost an e-mail.  Certainly I wouldn't be safe to drive! Complete lack of getting brain into gear. 

I cut down by 5mg at breakfast yesterday which helped; 10 last night and again this morning.  Of course there's background nausea as I chop and change  but am managing to eat thus far.

[CLKD]

 

[Ayesha]

I have only ever once suffered with depression in my life and that was postnatal many years ago.
I wasn't me, I was outside of my body looking at this other person, it was a very frightening experience. I can't imagine what it must be like to live constantly with this awful condition, I hope you get over this latest episode soon.

[CLKD]

  so much

 it's how my mind begins to mutter that is scary.  Then the anxiety begins which is worse as it limits what I am able to do.  The emergency pill will knock me out but I want to watch le Tour.  Little steps 

[purplenanny]

CLKD, you helped me many years ago and I will always be grateful.
I have been away from the forum for a while but just wanted to wish you well. You will get through this, you are stronger than you know.

[CLKD]

 .    am managing to eat.  DH tells me that if the Hotel isn't up to expectations we can come home, it's 2hr 10ms away.  It's part of our anniversary trips which is why it's special .  Better 2 B anxious now ?

[Minusminnie]

Sadly I was blindsided by sudden depression a couple of weeks ago, scary:

DH tells me that if the Hotel isn't up to expectations we can come home, it's 2hr 10ms away. 

Was that the stress trigger for the depression ? Booking the hotel a couple of weeks ago ?

[CLKD]

I wake up low every morning, don't want to get out of bed: by breakfast I'm much better.  In April depression was sudden, after 4 days I knew it wouldn't lift hence the GP suggesting an added 5mg of Escitalopram.

Anxiety is triggered the moment I book anything ............ so we tend to pay more 4 tickets than buying ahead which would be cheaper.  Gives me breathing space.

[CLKD]

Ayesha: did U require medication during those times? 

As the day has gone on my overall feelings have improved.  DH now making a batch of pancakes ;-). Agave syrup and lemon juice.