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[CLKD]

Venlafaxine supposedly eases hot flushes? 

[Nas]

Thanks all.
It’s been a physical and emotional rollercoaster since I got home, I have to say.

I can’t get my head round the unfairness of it all. I did my stint in 2009, when my kids were only 5 and 18 months! Did what I needed to do and cracked on with life.

Now they are teens and doing well and the b*****d cells have gone bad AGAIN!! Why?

The last thing I asked before I left the hospital, was “ am I going to die”? Well we all are, aren’t we!!


My plan is to recover from this op, whilst watching for key symptoms; make a list and seek advice re: each one. The appointment with the oncologist should detail a plan to tackle this latest revelation. I think it involves taking anti hormonal tablets. So, best to start them, whilst seeking advice on supplements.

Vagifem and Ovestin are to be continued; I will not surrender those!

It’s going to be the aches, palpitations, moods and probably anxiety, which will kick in properly soon.

Tummy feels very out of sorts, also on antibiotics x 3 daily, to zap potential infection ( temp spikes whilst in hospital).

Fluid will be drained soon I’m told.

Do I feel hard done by today? Hell, yes!! 

Xx

[CLKD]

Of course!  The Life you planned has disappeared, you need to grieve.  With that comes rage, tears, disbelief; sadness, anger ..........

My Consultant insisted on lists of my worries to take to each appt..

[suzysunday]

You have every right to feel hard done by!  Life is flaming soul destroying sometimes and you have really been through some tough times and now facing this.  You at least have a plan and I'm sure you are in good hands with the hospital.   It's early days and everything is bound to feel a bit out of your hands.

You were hoping that with when the hysterectomy was completed that you would be able to start getting on with your life, but now other health problems have to be sorted.  These are all really stressful things to deal with, so you have every right to feel as you do.

Just try and stay positive and take small steps to recovery.  I hope that doesn't sound trite.   Sending you love and hugs xxx

[SarahT]

To be fair Nas you have every right to be bloody raging. Yes it's unfair for you to go through it once but to be hit again along with ok the rest of the crap health wise you have every right to scream and rage. Please make sure you have an outlet for the times you need to cry and shout, or curl up and weep.

Can your hospital team help with setting you up with somewhere you can speak safely and honestly with a professional if you need it?

I very much agree with CLKD that You will be grieving for the life that has altered through no fault of your own.

You have a solid plan with your consultant and I know I warble on about this but be firm with your own notes and questions. Ask if someone you trust can go with you to hear the bits you may miss. Don't go out of that appt until you are satisfied they have covered everything you need to or referred you to someone who may better advise you.
Ask what their plans are for you, and then what you can do to support yourself safely with supplements - for each and every symptom that you expect to come back hormonal wise, the physical and the emotional/mental health.

Partner, I only realised myself these past few weeks that it's really actually ok to admit to yourself that life can be truly crap. So yes, bloody rage girl when you need to.

But also remember to be kind to yourself. Sending love and hugs, and I would send chocolate but I ate that. 😘 xx

[sheila99]

Life has dealt you such a cruel hand

[Nas]

Funeral planning to tomorrow. Music, venue etc.

I feel it’s got me.
Infiltrating through my body.

[suzysunday]

What do you mean funeral planning? Please don't say that.

[CLKD]

Good idea to plan ahead - it's done then.  It was after my Aunt's celebration years ago that I began to put my ideas together.  Then I filed them away but can't remember where!  I do know that no one is to wear black; music chosen - going out on bird song ;-). 


Little steps.  Half a day at a time.

[SarahT]

Ok. Can you see doing that tomorrow as just one of your plans? To have those decisions for yourself, see it as a form of being in control whilst other things are in someone else's hands. And maybe when you feel up to it see what the consultant appt brings?

I can't tell you I understand how you feel Nas because I dont. No one can, your feelings are yours and yours alone.

Do you have people with you right now to talk to or hold you if you need that? X

[suzysunday]

What SarahT says is so true.  I can't pretend I know what you are going through.  I just wish I could be more help because the time you took to talk to me these last few months were so valuable and kind, I can't tell you how good it was to have your support.  Stay strong Nas x

[Nas]

Okay, had shower.
Compression stockings on ( I challenge ANY man to rip these passion killers off, in less than an hour!  )

Partner, you are right, some control does need to be had.
I am however, tired and hormonal, which isn’t helping my cabbaged brain!

My notebook and pen are at the ready..

Suzy, don’t feel bad. We all deal with different types and levels of shiteness in life, yes? I will be in touch in the next couple of days, to see how things are x

Take care all x
Pretty cold 🥶 I’m glad of the passion killer compression stockings I think! X

[discogirl]

Hi Nas,

Sending so much love to you xxx

[Nas]

Thanks disco ❤️
How are you ? X

[Mary G]

Hope you are feeling better today Nas.  I'm sorry you have been feeling low but not at all surprised, you would have to be a saint not to be very angry and saying "why me?".

You will be at your absolute lowest now.  You are post op, in recovery and then there's the lung issue and the time of year which is not my favourite time of year and I imagine many others feel the same way.

Once you have recovered from the operation, you are mobile again and you have spoken to specialists and have a way forward, I think you will feel better.

By the way, thanks for spending time helping others on here when you are not at your best yourself.  I really admire you for that.

Xxx.