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[Pamela03]

Thanks SO much. My husbands good but he's away til the weekend. I'm better today. Went to acupuncture last night.
I am very busy at work and that is helpful.
I have to conquer this ridiculous fear I have of tears etc coming back with bad r dilys. As of course it's better to know !!!!
I've got obsessed with checking my breasts and have made a diary as they've been sore before my period. Dr said normal for that to happen. My period due now and even though I check my diary and know they're getting sore again at the same time I start spinning out of control ..!
I'm determined to get it sorted but as one of you said if it's not one thing it's another. I convinced my self I had AIDS during the '80s... xxx to you all !!!

[CLKD]

Without any particular reason Pamela03?  It's easy to get into that spiral.  Is it in your head or physically in the gut where your worries land?

I make an appt. after 3 weeks because that's the kind of time scale when things get worse or improve.  I've had a painful neck/head since mid-Nov. but it hasn't got worse.  I may self-refer to physio but I can already do exercises: if I remember  .  It's not constant but mainly if I move ..........

I kept a symptom diary throughout my menstruating years and had a pattern which was 'normal' for me.  Until I hit peri but knew it was The Change.  Atrophy however   

[squeaker99]

Hi Pamela03 - Just wanted to say that many of us can relate to what you are going through and yes for me
my anxiety and especially health anxiety has got much worse during Meno . I find there is suddenly much more
to worry  about - weird and new gastric/mental/cardiac/discharge/muscular/memory - Hormone swings wreck
havoc for many or some of the former and as they are new many of us have to go through the eternal round of
going to the GP / going for scans/new medications etc.  I have always had a level of anxiety but hormone changes
definately ramp it up. I have no magic cures but sometimes the following help (a bit!). I work from home and find
when I'm at home it is the worst.
- Turn on the Radio - play music you like - loud!
- Keep busy - do household jobs which will absorb or make you tired.
- Imagine your thoughts are like cars going back and forward. Don't run after them - let them come and go. They are just that - thoughts, nothing more!
- Take each day as 24 hours to enjoy. No point looking back to what's gone or forward to what might never be. Each day one at a time to enjoy.
- Get outside. Even in rubbish weather. Brisk walk around the block. Count or breath - don't think!
I have tried CBT/Minefullness which can help but I found sometimes you end getting caught up in desperately trying not to think and that becomes a worry.  Doing things with other people is better for me - I've joined a choir and a jogging group and go to Pilates.

[Donnadoobie]

I have health anxiety too, I could be at the doctors about 10 times a day. 

I have had at least 10 types of cancer in the past 10 months, and other issues I am worrying about at the moment.  My reasoning tells me that six months ago I was worrying about something else, that turned out to be nothing but my anxiety tells me that maybe this time it is real!

I know it is easy to say but try to relax.  I am going to the GP in a few weeks with a list of things I want checked out but maybe I will cancel again as I do repeatedly!

Hope you can feel more relaxed soon x

[CLKD]

Morning Donna: 1 thing that might turn out to be 'real' is that your GP takes you from his list.  Our Surgery has a policy of 3 cancelled appts or non attendance and the patient is removed.  Could you make an appt to see your Practice Nurse for a well woman check: blood pressure, general chat about health at your age and how the Practice supports menopause in reality.

Some ladies find that keeping a mood/symptom/food diary of use.  I have had a phobia  since the age of 3 so was constantly under health threats for many years .  It consumed me at times, nightmares - so there was no peace.

[Donnadoobie]

Thank you CLKD

my appointments are all booked online and cancelled online, it is never a problem but I hear what you are saying.

I can pinpoint the exact day that has lead to my anxiety over the past 9 months, 13th May.  I woke up and for no other reason than I had reddish poo ( beetroot crisps which I knew was the problem as had it many times) and convinced myself it was bowel or anal cancer, bowelscope showed nothing.  I have continued to worry about every pain, twinge,  ache or weird feeling since.

I have lots of personal issues going on outside my control. I live in the U.K. married to an EU citizen, which is very stress inducing right now, add in the menopause symptoms and work related stress and you have the perfect recipe for anxiety.  I know this deep down and I try to relax but it keeps haunting me.

Sometimes I forget and enjoy myself and it disappears.  The feelings were bad last Monday, first day back working ( I run my own childcare business) stress, worry, feeling of sadness and helplessness.  Trying to get a grip today. 

[CLKD]

How much support does your husband have?  R U worried by reading items in the papers or have you access to finding out exactly what might happen? 

Is your child care business thriving?  What help do you have daily with the children and with household chores? 

Beetroot - it catches me out every time  with an "OH!" what's caused that ....... as it can be several days B4 poo arrives red as I have slow transit.  Pee of course reddens within hours ........... so now when I eat beetroot - which I love, I remind myself that in a few hours/days, I will get that shock.

What's the worst that could happen?   I went through treatment after a lump was found - the bone scan was the scariest, had I been told it was an all-over body X-ray I wouldn't have worried! followed by radiation treatment and follow ups.  Still here!  Is it the treatment you fear or .....

[Donnadoobie]

My husband is supportive but thinks I overthink things and worry too much ( he is right!)

Worst part of last few years was last year, when he had to ‘apply' to continue living in the country he has lived in for 30 years, more than half his life.  After a few weeks anxious wait, he was given his settled status.  We live in sleepy Norfolk and had always been accepted as part of the community, the last year he has been told to ‘go home' more than once.  Our retirement plans of 30 years have been shelved, life is pretty sad at the moment.

Childcare business had been thriving, got our third outstanding in 10 years last year but numbers have dropped, due to a lower birth rate and we are having to let our apprentice go after completing in March.  We have already had to lose two other members of staff, leaving just me and my husband to run everything and I mean everything.  Childcare, cleaning, cooking, admin, finances ...........!  At almost 58, It is taking it's toll. 

Daughter getting married in Crete in the summer, worried paperwork maybe more difficult after January has gone but fingers are crossed for that, just another stress.

I think I am focussing on health anxieties as I have no control over the rest.  Want to retire but cannot afford to and won't get my pension for another 9 years, 12 if the proposals go ahead to increase to 70.  Want to feel well again, I have always been fit and active, now I just cannot be bothered!

Fear?  Fear of not being here for my daughters, that is my fear.

[CLKD]

A proper Mummy fear then.  Add to that ageing and running a business ........

Have you spoken to a Financial Advisor?   We find ours is supportive and useful.  DH wrote down everything we paid out/in for 12 months then spoke to a FA who agreed with the figures.  He set up various savings methods and to date, has done 'well' for us.  It is surprising how much you don't actually need in the way of money !  We don't spend as much as we thought we might need to even though we run two vehicles and go out and about.  Because we have reached 'this' age and have a good bulk of savings we are thus far, OK ;-).

Oh a Summer wedding - don't forget to 'break in' the shoes and practice wearing the hat  .  Will the Travel Company be of use to discuss your worries? 

As for the Pension problems and the Government moving the Goal Posts, well it's a breach of contract but no one seems interested in taking that up on a 'no win, no fee' basis 

[Miss Sunshine]

I have diagnosed myself with so many illnesses (always terminal) it's exhausting! 

I felt so good this morning after good blood results but it was very short lived.  I noticed a red non itchy rash under my breast in the shower and of course I've diagnosed Inflammatory b.c.!  I had a mammogram of both breasts and ultrasound of my left breast about 4 months ago but of course I'm now convinced they missed something!  They only did ultrasound on the one area I felt some pain in.  Not the entire breast.  Consultant also did a breast exam. 

I'm so sad right now, why can't I find peace of mind?

[CLKD]

Get some talc under the breast to mop up any sweat ? 

[Jeepers]

Yep, I'm the same.  The high after a normal result is always short-lived as my stupid brain then either thinks they've missed something or it just moved on to some other body part that's twinging.  I drive myself nuts!!!

Ditto Sparkle. It's exhausting isn't it?
After a rubbish start to the year, I was finally feeling a bit more positive, but in the last week I've found out my sister has been diagnosed with lung cancer, and that both of my dad's sisters died of breast cancer aged 61.  Its hard to be positive when it feels like it's all around you..

Jeepers xx

[CLKD]

Jeepers 

[Barnacle]

I'm really sorry to hear that Jeepers x

[Pip16]

Oh gosh! I've diagnosed myself with every single cancer/disease going over the years and of course dr google has never helped. I found a breast lump a few years back. Booked into breast clinic and seen within 4 days, biopsy etc. All came back clear but I was still having panic attacks about it. Told myself to pull myself together and think of something else. Brain switched to a mole on my foot that has been there for donkeys years and then I convinced myself it was cancer. Eventually saw my gp who referred me to counsellor. She told me the brain was very clever. Once it's learnt something it's hard to ?unlearn it?. Now the health anxiety has risen its ugly head again when I've been totally calm and rational this past year or so. The only thing different is that I stopped taking cbd oil about 8 days ago. That must have really calmed me. Flushes are back along with the anxiety. Time to get back on it I think!!
Miss sunshine.. I was sore under my breast and very smelly (of sweaty socks) even straight after a shower-no rash but my gp gave me a cream which got rid of it. X