Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: Pamela03 on January 14, 2020, 02:14:29 PM
-
Hi ! I'm new to this forum and hoping you might have some support or suggestions for me to get a grip of the really anxious feelings I have started having about my health... it's always been a part of my personality but since hitting 54 and perimenopause I'm finding it really worrying and hard to control for at least a week or so a month. And too terrified to go to the docs!! I'm convinced I'm terminal at every twinge etc Is this normal and how can I get a grip ? I'm ok otherwise, other than this panic about death and illness.
Sorry ! It's a tricky one ... hello to you all !
-
Hi U! :welcomemm:
What's the worst that could happen? Many struggle with health anxiety as The Change hits. Plus lots are coping with children, work, husband, elderly relatives ........ which ups the stress levels.
Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use. To chart progress. This shows that how ever much we worry, what was terminal last week will be OK but something else might take us off! We have a thread about that, I'll bounce it - if I remember ::)
-
Yes well, with health anxiety asking the question "what's the worst that could happen...?" Is the main problem ....
Thanks though.
I'll look for threads that might help. I know it's self destructive and I'm hoping by talking about it I might be able to get a grip.
-
I forgot to find the thread I mentioned due to the connectivity issues of the Forum >:(
What's the first symptom you would like to ease? Most of us have been through most ::) and worried and been reassured until the next worry emerges ..........
-
Hi Pamela03.
You are is good company here as loads of us suffer with health anxiety and lots of other anxiety as well.
What's the worst thing that could happen? Don't get me started! That question is at the root of all our problems.
I'm sure there will be others along to offer support and advice so stay around and keep posting.
-
Here we are: if press go works :D
Things I have diagnosed myself with this year! ...... in the Humorous Room
-
Here we are: if press go works :D
Things I have diagnosed myself with this year! ...... in the Humorous Room
-
Thanks Blot!!
Yes at the moment I am ok today but having to try quite hard to keep panic about either breast or ovarian cancer at bay....I'm busy, lucky, happy (!) and yet seem to get overwhelmed by these surges which at present can go on for a few days accompanied by tears.
And the worst thing is at the moment I'm terrified of going to a GP. I feel faint at the thought. I've got to get on top of it... lovely to be in touch
-
So what would you go to the GP about? Is there a Practice Nurse if necessary?
I had breast disease in the 1990s, my biggest worry was that panic attacks would stop me from attending daily radiation treatments. It didn't. PHEW! There was emotional pain but not physical pain as I had a good Surgeon and team.
Worry can overtake 24/7. At my worst I had nightmares :-\ :'(.
Maybe note down your stresses. Think about how your current Life-style impacts, how much 'me' time you have: are you a carer, do you have children etc.? Think about if you can delegate ........ feeling in control of daily living can help.
If you like to share, then do. It isn't unusual! It's about getting the worry under control so that it becomes logical.
-
Pamela03,
Interesting that your worry about ovarian cancer and breast cancer, and worried about seeing the doctor. I'm the other way around worrying about every new problem and running to my doctor.
With my breast I first find a lump about 30, since then at least another 4 lumps. They have all been biopsy and are fine. I go private and get a mammogram every 2 years, and ultrasound every year. I go private because the service is unbeatable. Only went once to the public mammogram screening so quick and they didn't find anything when I already had lumps. It doing this that's stop me from worrying about my breast.
With my ovaries, I first had the pain at 25 years old and was rushed into surgery. And had problems with them again 3 and half years ago, it's why they gave me hysterectomy but they kept my ovaries?
Like you I do worry about all the pain and changes in my body.
Please go and see a doctor and explain all your concerns, if you find a wonderful doctor like mine. They will take the time to listen to you do test that need to be done, and hopefully put your worries at bay.
If there is seriously something wrong and doing nothing about it is not going to help. I always believe to see a doctor early is in your best interest. Is there someone that can go with you?
I wish you all the best Pamela
-
4 me if I have continual symptoms after 3 weeks I make an appt. Taking a list of worries with me. Getting advice sooner rather than later saves a lot of worry later on, should further investigations be required.
Nothing could be worse than the anxiety that plagued my Life from the age of 3 followed by anxiety in the 1990s :'(. I never want to feel out of control or as ill again.
-
Hi Pamela
Yes, definitely me. Many of us on here have been in really bad places with health anxiety ( and continue to be so).
I'm almost the opposite of you though, and have spent a kings ransom on getting things checked out. It only works for a while, so I am going to get some professional help for my mental health. I think I'd quite like to try hypnotherapy
The only thing that currently helps me, is my job. I know that makes me sound really sad, and it means that time off is often spoiled by intrusive thoughts , but there it is.
Jeepers xx
-
Pamela - I'm so very sorry to hear that we share these worries. HA can overwhelm me for weeks on end and usually when I get one fear dealt with, I just replace it with another. Jeepers and Squeaker99 and myself all suffer badly with HA and have tried various coping mechanisms. Distraction combined with a form of CBT works for me, but not always! Wishing you well and hoping that you find this forum the lifesaver that I have found it to be xx
-
CLDK I love the three weeks then go to the doctor, I do try to do this, but sometimes my worries becomes too much and I cave. And I agree Jeepers work does help, and anything to distract yourself is great. I'm right back into jigsaw puzzles, keeps my brain busy.
-
Hi lyncola
I love jigsaw puzzles, and agree that they can be a great distraction. I also play classical guitar ( badly), which also helps.
Jeepers xx
-
Thanks SO much. My husbands good but he's away til the weekend. I'm better today. Went to acupuncture last night.
I am very busy at work and that is helpful.
I have to conquer this ridiculous fear I have of tears etc coming back with bad r dilys. As of course it's better to know !!!!
I've got obsessed with checking my breasts and have made a diary as they've been sore before my period. Dr said normal for that to happen. My period due now and even though I check my diary and know they're getting sore again at the same time I start spinning out of control ..!
I'm determined to get it sorted but as one of you said if it's not one thing it's another. I convinced my self I had AIDS during the '80s... xxx to you all !!!
-
Without any particular reason Pamela03? It's easy to get into that spiral. Is it in your head or physically in the gut where your worries land?
I make an appt. after 3 weeks because that's the kind of time scale when things get worse or improve. I've had a painful neck/head since mid-Nov. but it hasn't got worse. I may self-refer to physio but I can already do exercises: if I remember ::). It's not constant but mainly if I move ..........
I kept a symptom diary throughout my menstruating years and had a pattern which was 'normal' for me. Until I hit peri but knew it was The Change. Atrophy however :o >:(
-
Hi Pamela03 - Just wanted to say that many of us can relate to what you are going through and yes for me
my anxiety and especially health anxiety has got much worse during Meno . I find there is suddenly much more
to worry about - weird and new gastric/mental/cardiac/discharge/muscular/memory - Hormone swings wreck
havoc for many or some of the former and as they are new many of us have to go through the eternal round of
going to the GP / going for scans/new medications etc. I have always had a level of anxiety but hormone changes
definately ramp it up. I have no magic cures but sometimes the following help (a bit!). I work from home and find
when I'm at home it is the worst.
- Turn on the Radio - play music you like - loud!
- Keep busy - do household jobs which will absorb or make you tired.
- Imagine your thoughts are like cars going back and forward. Don't run after them - let them come and go. They are just that - thoughts, nothing more!
- Take each day as 24 hours to enjoy. No point looking back to what's gone or forward to what might never be. Each day one at a time to enjoy.
- Get outside. Even in rubbish weather. Brisk walk around the block. Count or breath - don't think!
I have tried CBT/Minefullness which can help but I found sometimes you end getting caught up in desperately trying not to think and that becomes a worry. Doing things with other people is better for me - I've joined a choir and a jogging group and go to Pilates.
-
I have health anxiety too, I could be at the doctors about 10 times a day.
I have had at least 10 types of cancer in the past 10 months, and other issues I am worrying about at the moment. My reasoning tells me that six months ago I was worrying about something else, that turned out to be nothing but my anxiety tells me that maybe this time it is real!
I know it is easy to say but try to relax. I am going to the GP in a few weeks with a list of things I want checked out but maybe I will cancel again as I do repeatedly!
Hope you can feel more relaxed soon x
-
Morning Donna: 1 thing that might turn out to be 'real' is that your GP takes you from his list. Our Surgery has a policy of 3 cancelled appts or non attendance and the patient is removed. Could you make an appt to see your Practice Nurse for a well woman check: blood pressure, general chat about health at your age and how the Practice supports menopause in reality.
Some ladies find that keeping a mood/symptom/food diary of use. I have had a phobia :'( since the age of 3 so was constantly under health threats for many years . It consumed me at times, nightmares - so there was no peace.
-
Thank you CLKD
my appointments are all booked online and cancelled online, it is never a problem but I hear what you are saying.
I can pinpoint the exact day that has lead to my anxiety over the past 9 months, 13th May. I woke up and for no other reason than I had reddish poo ( beetroot crisps which I knew was the problem as had it many times) and convinced myself it was bowel or anal cancer, bowelscope showed nothing. I have continued to worry about every pain, twinge, ache or weird feeling since.
I have lots of personal issues going on outside my control. I live in the U.K. married to an EU citizen, which is very stress inducing right now, add in the menopause symptoms and work related stress and you have the perfect recipe for anxiety. I know this deep down and I try to relax but it keeps haunting me.
Sometimes I forget and enjoy myself and it disappears. The feelings were bad last Monday, first day back working ( I run my own childcare business) stress, worry, feeling of sadness and helplessness. Trying to get a grip today.
-
How much support does your husband have? R U worried by reading items in the papers or have you access to finding out exactly what might happen?
Is your child care business thriving? What help do you have daily with the children and with household chores?
Beetroot - it catches me out every time ::) with an "OH!" what's caused that ....... as it can be several days B4 poo arrives red as I have slow transit. Pee of course reddens within hours ........... so now when I eat beetroot - which I love, I remind myself that in a few hours/days, I will get that shock.
What's the worst that could happen? I went through treatment after a lump was found - the bone scan was the scariest, had I been told it was an all-over body X-ray I wouldn't have worried! followed by radiation treatment and follow ups. Still here! Is it the treatment you fear or .....
-
My husband is supportive but thinks I overthink things and worry too much ( he is right!)
Worst part of last few years was last year, when he had to ‘apply' to continue living in the country he has lived in for 30 years, more than half his life. After a few weeks anxious wait, he was given his settled status. We live in sleepy Norfolk and had always been accepted as part of the community, the last year he has been told to ‘go home' more than once. Our retirement plans of 30 years have been shelved, life is pretty sad at the moment.
Childcare business had been thriving, got our third outstanding in 10 years last year but numbers have dropped, due to a lower birth rate and we are having to let our apprentice go after completing in March. We have already had to lose two other members of staff, leaving just me and my husband to run everything and I mean everything. Childcare, cleaning, cooking, admin, finances ...........! At almost 58, It is taking it's toll.
Daughter getting married in Crete in the summer, worried paperwork maybe more difficult after January has gone but fingers are crossed for that, just another stress.
I think I am focussing on health anxieties as I have no control over the rest. Want to retire but cannot afford to and won't get my pension for another 9 years, 12 if the proposals go ahead to increase to 70. Want to feel well again, I have always been fit and active, now I just cannot be bothered!
Fear? Fear of not being here for my daughters, that is my fear.
-
A proper Mummy fear then. Add to that ageing and running a business ........
Have you spoken to a Financial Advisor? We find ours is supportive and useful. DH wrote down everything we paid out/in for 12 months then spoke to a FA who agreed with the figures. He set up various savings methods and to date, has done 'well' for us. It is surprising how much you don't actually need in the way of money ! We don't spend as much as we thought we might need to even though we run two vehicles and go out and about. Because we have reached 'this' age and have a good bulk of savings we are thus far, OK ;-).
Oh a Summer wedding - don't forget to 'break in' the shoes and practice wearing the hat ;). Will the Travel Company be of use to discuss your worries?
As for the Pension problems and the Government moving the Goal Posts, well it's a breach of contract but no one seems interested in taking that up on a 'no win, no fee' basis >:(
-
I have diagnosed myself with so many illnesses (always terminal) it's exhausting!
I felt so good this morning after good blood results but it was very short lived. I noticed a red non itchy rash under my breast in the shower and of course I've diagnosed Inflammatory b.c.! I had a mammogram of both breasts and ultrasound of my left breast about 4 months ago but of course I'm now convinced they missed something! They only did ultrasound on the one area I felt some pain in. Not the entire breast. Consultant also did a breast exam.
I'm so sad right now, why can't I find peace of mind?
-
Get some talc under the breast to mop up any sweat ? ;)
-
Yep, I'm the same. The high after a normal result is always short-lived as my stupid brain then either thinks they've missed something or it just moved on to some other body part that's twinging. I drive myself nuts!!!
Ditto Sparkle. It's exhausting isn't it?
After a rubbish start to the year, I was finally feeling a bit more positive, but in the last week I've found out my sister has been diagnosed with lung cancer, and that both of my dad's sisters died of breast cancer aged 61. Its hard to be positive when it feels like it's all around you..
Jeepers xx
-
Jeepers :hug:
-
I'm really sorry to hear that Jeepers x
-
Oh gosh! I've diagnosed myself with every single cancer/disease going over the years and of course dr google has never helped. I found a breast lump a few years back. Booked into breast clinic and seen within 4 days, biopsy etc. All came back clear but I was still having panic attacks about it. Told myself to pull myself together and think of something else. Brain switched to a mole on my foot that has been there for donkeys years and then I convinced myself it was cancer. Eventually saw my gp who referred me to counsellor. She told me the brain was very clever. Once it's learnt something it's hard to ?unlearn it?. Now the health anxiety has risen its ugly head again when I've been totally calm and rational this past year or so. The only thing different is that I stopped taking cbd oil about 8 days ago. That must have really calmed me. Flushes are back along with the anxiety. Time to get back on it I think!!
Miss sunshine.. I was sore under my breast and very smelly (of sweaty socks) even straight after a shower-no rash but my gp gave me a cream which got rid of it. X
-
Hello ladies.
My trusty meno book talks about a sense of unease that comes upon us at this time on our lives. I wonder if health anxiety is a product of that.
Unusually I don't worry about my physical health but I do fixate on my mental health as a result of my mood swings. I do get a tense, quivery sensation in my stomach/abdomen but I even attribute that to my anxiety rather than digestive problems. Should my current irritability and tearfulness ever leave me I'm sure I would fill the void with something else to fret about!
Pip16 - it's interesting that you've used CBD oil to help with calmness. Can you tell us more about the brand you use? I'm sure lots of ladies would like to learn more.
Wishing everyone well.
K.
-
Hi Kathleen Am I allowed to mention the company on here? it's amazing stuff and has really helped me and family members with lots of ailments.
Pip x
-
Hello again Pip16
Good point, I hadn't thought of that.
I 'd like to try CBD oil as I am not on HRT and feel I need something. Are you able to send me a pm with the details? I realise that members only have access to the pm service if they have made over 10 posts and I'm not sure that you qualify as yet. Hopefully you do lol.
Many thanks and wishing you well.
K.
-
Hi Kathleen no not able to send messages yet. I'm not sure if You could send me one then I can reply....
Pip
-
Hello again Pip16
Another good idea lol!
I'm send you a pm and we'll see if the system let's you respond.
Thanks again.
K.
.
-
Hi again Kathleen no the systems not letting me send. I don't know how else to do it unless you have any ideas. Are we really not allowed to post details. I know there are lots of ladies who use the company's oils for meno symptoms X
-
Just post another three on this thread and then you can send.
Just put blah blah on three separate posts.
-
Oh gosh! I've diagnosed myself with every single cancer/disease going over the years and of course dr google has never helped. I found a breast lump a few years back. Booked into breast clinic and seen within 4 days, biopsy etc. All came back clear but I was still having panic attacks about it. Told myself to pull myself together and think of something else. Brain switched to a mole on my foot that has been there for donkeys years and then I convinced myself it was cancer. Eventually saw my gp who referred me to counsellor. She told me the brain was very clever. Once it's learnt something it's hard to ?unlearn it?. Now the health anxiety has risen its ugly head again when I've been totally calm and rational this past year or so. The only thing different is that I stopped taking cbd oil about 8 days ago. That must have really calmed me. Flushes are back along with the anxiety. Time to get back on it I think!!
Miss sunshine.. I was sore under my breast and very smelly (of sweaty socks) even straight after a shower-no rash but my gp gave me a cream which got rid of it. X
Thanks, rash was gone the next day. I have moved onto other obsessions now! It's literally exhausting. Would love to know about cbd oil too!
-
It is exhausting Miss Sunshine, had it continually for the past 10 months!
Just put a post on my thread bout my sore throat, which is my current worry. Even thought the doctor says he is not worried it is anything sinister.
Just want to feel normal again.
I would be interested in CBD oil.
-
Hello again ladies.
Pip16 - The system let me send you a pm so hopefully you will see it soon.
It appears other ladies are also interested in trying CBD oil.
Take care everyone.
K.
-
Think I've started something here with the CBD oil 😀. Lots of people do use it for anxiety and I'm pretty sure it helped me, even the hot flushes. My health anxiety has only come back this bad since I stopped it around 10 days ago. I can't even remember why I stopped now. Brain fog lol. Back on it now though. I don't think it helped with my VA symptoms which I'm obsessed with now thinking it's something more serious but i suppose it did help me to switch off from it and to think rationally and not to visit dr google. But don't just rush out and buy any as there are things you need to be aware of before you start especially if you take other meds. You need to leave gaps and it's not like taking other medications where stronger is better. You need to start low and slowly build up til you get to your own point of relief. Everyone's different. They give you tons of info and advice where I get mine from and have 1000's and 1000's of happy customers. I don't know if I'm allowed to say the company name on here and because I'm new I can't send or reply to any pm's. I don't work for the company or anything like that, Ive just used it for over a year and it seems to work for me. I originally bought it for my dog and I'm sure it gave us more time with him. X
-
Hi Kathleen no the system is still not letting me send messages. I need to get to 10 posts and think this is now no 9.
I?ll just post another random one then hopefully I?ll then be able to reply to you
X
-
Pip - U can reply on the board. :-\. One doesn't post simply to enable the PM system.
-
Hello again Pip16
Thanks for trying to reply to my pm.
As you can see there are other ladies eager to learn from you but no pressure!
Wishing you well.
K.
-
Hello again Pip16
Thanks for trying to reply to my pm.
As you can see there are other ladies eager to learn from you but no pressure!
Wishing you well.
Hello again Pip16
Thanks for trying to reply to my pm.
As you can see there are other ladies eager to learn from you but no pressure!
Wishing you well.
K.
K.
Hi Kathleen thank you. I can only say what I think helped me and direct you to where I bought mine. From there, there's tons of advice, files to read and you can ask for advice too from the support group. Also the shop with reviews. X
-
Thank you for your kind wishes ladies.
I can't quite take it in at the moment xx
-
Yep, I'm the same. The high after a normal result is always short-lived as my stupid brain then either thinks they've missed something or it just moved on to some other body part that's twinging. I drive myself nuts!!!
Ditto Sparkle. It's exhausting isn't it?
After a rubbish start to the year, I was finally feeling a bit more positive, but in the last week I've found out my sister has been diagnosed with lung cancer, and that both of my dad's sisters died of breast cancer aged 61. Its hard to be positive when it feels like it's all around you..
Jeepers xx
Sorry to hear this Jeepers. That's a lot of stress to deal with. I've only been on this forum a short time but everyone is very supportive. I hope you can get the support you need and in turn can be there for your sister.
-
Ok, I need a bit of reassurance. I am hoping this is my anxiety in overdrive.
I have felt my anxiety rising over the past week, throat issues still there but for the last two days I have a feeling in my chest like I want to cough but I don't, I am too scared to cough.
I have been treating for post nasal drip again this week as throat was phlegmy and this does seem to be easing but worried this cough feeling is you know what! I know I am being silly, I have no temp and feel fine.
I recently came off the Omelrazole, as I felt I didn't have reflux but maybe it is that? Silent reflux. I have more that I am going to start taking again
We all think our symptoms are Covid at the moment and cannot think Past it. Surely I would be ill if it was that, the cough could be because phlegm has loosened in my chest? I keep clearing my throat.
Trying desperately for logical explanations but panicking
-
Logic flies out the window! I have ached from the waist upwards and keep wondering >:(. I've had reflux for years and appropriate meds have helped. Maybe stop for 3 days then begin again, I take my capsule ?Omeprazolol? at night. ...... and breath!
-
Diane200 - do you sing? My teacher told me that few people actually inflate their lungs completely ......... unless they do lots of running, swimming or singing.
I woke in a flurry of 'what ifs' earlier and didn't want to wake :-\ so I'm out of bed, breakfast to hand. I'm fed up waiting .......
-
Hello ladies
Diane200 - you might want to try alternate nostril yoga breaths or the 4-7-8 technique (breathe in to the count of 4, hold to the count of 7 and exhale to the count of 8. Breathe normally and repeat). Lots of info online to help so I suggest you do a bit of Googling.
Wishing you well.
K.
-
I have been struggling for the last two weeks
I sat in the garden two weeks ago thinking that my throat problems were gone, I only had a chest irritation that was bothering me but the throat was good.
The next day, throat problems were back and they continue Phlegmy throat, and chest discomfort. I am convinced it is a silent reflux even though Omeprazole makes not difference, nor does Gaviscon Advance. Just started taking Silicol gel, anyone tried this?
Apart from reflux medication I have been using a nasal spray, and using a chesty cough mixture with decongestant, can't remember the name.
I am anxious about Covid, anxious that my husband is not in the best shape if he gets it. Daughters wedding cancelled and she is in a deep depression. I see no end to this. Husband is fed up with my health worries so don't talk about them.
GP is using a referral form type of system, but feel I don't want to bother them again with another worry of mine. Could this be anxiety? Or an actual problem. Every test I have had in the last 12 months has been normal.
Would an ENT appointment sort this out, are they even doing that at the moment?
Feel so tired and drained today.
-
If it were serious symptoms would not go away, they would become troublesome. ........ and breath.
I think you are using too much medication. How about milk of magnesia or Rennies? Think about your diet and how late you eat in the evening? If I eat after 8.00 I tend to suffer in the early hours >:(. Omeprazole helps in the main. How much are you taking and when?
I have a constant cough. Reflux. I take the Omeprazole at night unless it's bothersome in the day then I have one at breakfast for 2 mornings. It's a bit trial and error >:(
Does your daughter live with her intended? Of course she is disappointed but it's not the time for depression! Positives being that she doesn't have the virus, she is cared for and ............ acceptance is hard ain't it. I was so keen to be with my eventual husband that I would have been disappointed especially as living together wasn't an option in the 1960s/70s ;-). We would have run away together ;D.
We are all anxious during these Strange Times. Does your Husband tell you that he is fed up or is that your take on how he might feel? Why not sit down one evening a week to talk about how you both really feel?
-
Thanks CLKD
Not taking Omeprazole at the moment, the box ran out. It was a one off prescription to see if my throat issue went away.
I think I do over medicate but just want this all to go.
Daughter lives with her partner but is at home working all day on her own. I feel for her, she suffered with anxiety and depression due to her weight problem because of PCOS, nothing I can do to help either.
Will cut the meds down gradually and see what happens.
-
Was the Omeprazole helpful at all?
-
Not really although I suppose the dosage could not have been right.
Just want to know if this is anxiety based or something else. Feel a feeling in my chest like a cold that had moved to your chest. Could be tension I suppose but how do you relax your chest muscles when you don't even know you are tensing them?
-
The body adjusts itself all the while. When a person is anxious they become aware of every little muscle movement, flexion of toes/fingers, sneezing ........ it does make us wonder.
-
Hi there. I too suffer from health anxiety and think every little pain or symptom is the worst case scenario. I've had all kinds of scans and bloodwork done over the past few years due to lumps, swollen lymph nodes, and many other strange symptoms. It's an awful feeling. I'm hoping to get on some antianxiety medication and also do some counseling whenever this covid19 situation blows over. Best of luck to you and try not to worry too much. Take care!
-
I've replied to your other thread ;-). [do you play the guitar ? ]
-
Hi CLKD. I used to play quite a bit ;)
-
The health anxieties are awful, every twinge, symptom or pain had me thinking I had some awful terminal disease. What helped me to get through it was this site. Just putting my symptoms in and realising I wasn't alone with what I was going through helped keep me sane.