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[Redlocks]

Shannonplussed, I can relate to so much of what you say! Thank you for your kind words - I think my brain is definitely wired differently!! Lucky me :/ I cannot switch off at the moment, just completely lost control.
Trust me, I'm very tempted to switch from the fluoxetine! But I don't want to change too many things at the moment because it might make me feel even worse and I won't know what's causing what.

[Redlocks]

Tc, I sympathise! They make you feel like a drug addict if you ask for benzodiazepines, but it's not our fault if the antidepressants and HRT we're taking aren't effective! I wonder if any of those doctors have experienced panic attacks day in, day out for months on end. And I hadn't taken anything extra for the best part of a year - I hadn't felt 100% but I was well enough and didn't feel the need to take anything extra.
If you don't mind me asking, what's the longest period of time you have taken benzodiazepines? You don't have to tell me! When I was last on them I took them for about four months and never needed to increase the dose, and then it all levelled out and I didn't need them.
If increasing the utrogestan has caused me all this pain then I regret that decision!

[Redlocks]

And I tried propanolol before but didn't really notice any difference - does it take a while to take effect, like maybe over a few days?
And Kathleen, I'm generally always calmer at night even if I wake up. My pattern at the moment is waking up and quickly experiencing anxiety (when usually I look forward to mornings even though I'm not the best at getting up early!), and then this escalates throughout the day and tends to ease at night. Pretty much every day for the last month, and I cannot distract myself. It's so horrible! What on earth is happening to me...

[Redlocks]

And I just want to send hugs to all of you. It's a real struggle and you are all so empathetic and helpful, and I'm touched that you all took the time to write to me, especially at this time of year X 

[ElkWarning]

Hi

Yeah, I have a standing script for Diazepam, have had for about 15 - 20 years.  I was very ill at a certain point.  Anxiety can become psychotic.  I'm quite of the opinion, however, that if that were to happen, i.e. a form of psychosis, then most folks would know about it before now.

The DIY knock yourself out thing is antihistamine and alcohol.  I wouldn't advise it.  I've seen someone almost comatose and requiring an ambulance, but it does work, just have to be careful because you can suppress your breathing too much.

In terms of anything natural, yes, there is, and it's surprisingly effective.  Valerian.  Don't bother with tablets or capsules.  I make tea out of the actual root, together with limeflower and damiana.  I saw a herbalist recently, well, I've been seeing them for about three months, and I have a tincture which is heavy on the valerian.  Dropped my resting heart rate by 10 and got rid of the cortisol jumping awake at 3.30am thing, plus it sorted the racing palpitations.  You can't OD on valerian.  Believe me, someone tried.  It'll just make you sleep for a week.  But, as I say, you need the actual herb, not some rubbish in tablet form.

Best of luck with it.

You're not losing your mind.  It's just changing.

[Ladybt28]

Hey Birdy - that's good to hear, your body has found a level for 2 ddays! which will put you on the right track if you can keep it level. Don't be disappointed if you are not the same tomorrow, it happens, but at least you seem to be on the right track - as you know it takes a while for it to become constant but YES as day without that panic feeling! I'm chuffed to bits for you after all your worries and suffering.  From when I turned the corner, I know it felt like a miracle after 5 long years of despair but it still took another 7 months to become really permanent and for my brain to learn to work better after all that time.  I think a relearning process occurs and it takes ages for your brain to relearn new things ie don't panic everyday, no need to catastrophise and today will be a good day - Its like learning new habits 

Redlocks -I would be like Elkwarning  - I use Valarian from a proper health food shop. I use Dormesan Valarian drops in water before bed if I am feeling anxious (usually about an event but it's not as bad as it has been in the past) before bed and a few drops during the day.  I have had the pills but the drops seem to work quicker - Works a treat! 

I had said before I got rid of all my AD's and pain meds and the GP won't allow any short term use of Diazepam. I have been told my practice just won't  prescribe them anymore.  I did have a script (must be a year ago now) for 14 tablets every 3 months! because my anxiety was so very bad (as I wrote "certifiable"!) but it doesn't happen now. In fact in the anxiety stakes I am better than I have been in 25 years!

You are still trying to work this out Redlocks and it's still early doors to be honest although it might not seem like it.  Birdy has been suffering for more than 18 months (well more I reckon) and been looking for answers everyday.  I suffered for 3 years going out of my mind before I got it right and that was 18 months ago but when it comes....well...you wondered how it can be so difficult but it just is - all trial and error but it is possible and we should try any means (probably not the alcohol and antihistimines that elk suggests  although I have used antihistimines with the valerian (cant do alcohol that makes everything worse).  It can be done - stick with us! xx

[Ladybt28]

oh I know where you have been Birdy - as you well know from my posts!  It's unbelievable that it is possible to go on for so long like that and the time just flys by and before you know it years of your life have been eaten up with "this thing!!"  It surprises more and more each day reading on here how women doctors and researchers can allow this to happen to women in the 21st Century but anyway I just want you to know, it may be patchy to start with but no you know there is hope!  If you can gave 2 days then you can have more days. 

I really don't think that it is either the oestrogen on its own or the progesterone on it's own that does this to us, I think it is the total imbalance in our bodies of all the chemicals and trying to get the balance is like looking for a needle in a haystack.  You just have to keep going now and adjust accordingly.  I found that once I had had some days the dark places or bad days were not so scary anymore because I then knew that it was possible to have good days!  It's a weird psychological thing - it's like retraining a brain!  I have everything crossed for you xx

[Ladybt28]

It's Christmas Birdy that's what that's what's causing it! ;)xx

[Redlocks]

Hello ladies,
I'll get back to your posts later but I just wanted to say hope you all have as merry a Christmas as possible with all these crazy chemicals (!) and again thank you so much for all your support and suggestions.
I managed not to have a full-on panic attack yesterday but I'm struggling again today - I think I feel the pressure because usually I love this time of year!
I've also read that an increase in progesterone can initially make estrogen increase/estrogen receptors more sensitive or something - I don't understand the science but it sounds like there's a tug of war between estrogen and progesterone until they achieve the right balance (homeostasis?). I'm on my first progesterone-free week since I reduced the dose three weeks ago, so I'm hoping it's early days and the panic will subside, but it's so hard at the moment. Sending you all hugs 🤗
X

[Redlocks]

And Birdy, it sounds like you've turned a corner? I'm so relieved for you that you have had some relief! X

[Ladybt28]

Hang on in there Birdy - it just might be patchy to start with! xxx

[Redlocks]

Yes, hang on in there, Birdy! I felt much better yesterday and am feeling really low and panicky today - don't be discouraged. You sound like a very strong person.
Back in January I started to feel better after nearly three months of utter hell, then my mood plummeted again in February. It felt almost unbearable but in March I slowly but surely felt better, and kept improving (until after I changed my dose again, gaahhhh! I'm never messing with hormones again!!).
X

[Ladybt28]

Yep Redlocks - NO MESSING!!! - it it ain't broke, don't fix it! xxx

[Redlocks]

Thanks Ladybt28
I'm still so scared and not sure how I can manage in the mean time, as it may take months to recover. Do you think my anxiety could be caused by my hormones? I'll be so relieved if that's what's going on as it will be an explanation and I could possibly do something about it! Like when you feel terrible and find out it's an infection - you know it will pass, and you don't have to ‘think' your way out of the flu, etc.
X

[CLKD]

HORMONES!

How were your moods during your menstruating years? 

A sudden rush of hormones can cause anxiety.  As can low blood sugar so eating regularly may help.  Don't look too far ahead - half a day at a time!  I would wake deeply afraid in the early hours  until medication kicked in.

Do you keep a mood/food/symptom diary ?  Deep breathing can help too - did I explain the various exercises to practice?