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Menopause Matters magazine ISSUE 62 out now. (Winter issue, Dec 2020)

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Author Topic: 'Boobs' story so far....  (Read 2243 times)

KAH

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'Boobs' story so far....
« on: January 28, 2019, 08:39:48 PM »

About 2 years ago I had a mammogram & ultrasound due to my left breast getting bigger and my nipple flattening out compared to the right one. Was told all fine, must be hormones etc.
3 months later, not convinced at all so paid for private appt with top doc (did my sister in laws breast surgery) and he wasn't particularly worried but did an ultrasound and it was all fine.
Last May was referred for lump under right arm which turned out to be fine but they found calcification in left breast. Lots of mammograms & 2 biopsies followed and DCIS was diagnosed followed by surgery to remove the area. Although initially was told I'd need radiotherapy, I didn't end up having it as the area removed in surgery was clear which means the DCIS was removed at biopsy stage.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, when I was referred for a very small lump right at the very bottom of left breast. Not particularly worried due to all the tests last year. Had ultrasound today, doctor was very worried about an area that looks different. So had mammogram, nothing showed up. So she did needle biopsy there & then, then sent me for more detailed mammograms. Results in a week but was told it's 'very likely' it's cancer.
Worried sick for obvious reasons but also because throughout all the tests last year, I never had an ultrasound so even if this area was there then, it wouldn't have been picked up. And because it's so far down (as far down on the boob as you can go), it wouldn't have been checked before, so it could have been there years.
My question, how do I get through the next week knowing I'll probably be told the worst news. I have diazepam which I will take to hopefully get a bit of sleep but I can't eat (had a bit of a sandwich earlier but have just been sick), can't cry though I feel like I desperately need to. Just don't know what to do with myself. Sorry for the long ramble xxx
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Conolly

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2019, 08:54:06 PM »

Hello KAH,

So sorry you had been through all this. I can't offer any solution regarding worrying and feeling sick, I'd feel exactly the same.

I can't agree with the 'very likely' though. If she hasn't the biopsy results, is she basing her assumption on the 'more detailed mammogram'?

You're not rambling at all, keep posting, this is also therapeutic.

Huge hug,

Conolly X
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Taz2

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2019, 09:01:05 PM »

Sending a hug your way KAH. You're bound to be feeling anxious and sick but I agree with Connolly that nothing is certain  . Keep talking to us on here.

Taz x   :hug:
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KAH

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2019, 09:11:44 PM »

I did feel like I needed to just put it in writing, the whole awful last 2 years. That whole time since I first went with bigger boob, it's been in the back of my mind that something isn't right. I do suffer with terrible anxiety so tried to feel reassured by all the tests I've had, but it's always been there.

When she did the ultrasound, immediately she said there's an area of concern. I guess they see so many cancers on the screen, they become able to spot them just from their appearance. I did ask how big it was, 7x9mm.

Hello KAH,

So sorry you had been through all this. I can't offer any solution regarding worrying and feeling sick, I'd feel exactly the same.

I can't agree with the 'very likely' though. If she hasn't the biopsy results, is she basing her assumption on the 'more detailed mammogram'?

You're not rambling at all, keep posting, this is also therapeutic.

Huge hug,

Conolly X
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Conolly

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2019, 09:35:02 PM »

I see, thank you for the explanation. All you can do now is wait for the biopsy results. Meanwhile try to keep your mind busy with other things. It's not easy, but it's worth a try. Cleaning the house works for me, it gives me a sense of purpose and control. Only a woman would think of that...

My own experience with mammograms and ultrasounds is that in many circumstances they are very subjective. I have a big fibrocystic area in my left breast and armpit, which has always been a source of concern. After a mammogram I'm always referred to an ultrasound and vice versa. The way they look at me after the exam is absolutely terrifying and after both results are compared I'm told they're fine.

My fingers are crossed for you.

Conolly X
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KAH

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2019, 09:48:06 PM »

I see, thank you for the explanation. All you can do now is wait for the biopsy results. Meanwhile try to keep your mind busy with other things. It's not easy, but it's worth a try. Cleaning the house works for me, it gives me a sense of purpose and control. Only a woman would think of that...

My own experience with mammograms and ultrasounds is that in many circumstances they are very subjective. I have a big fibrocystic area in my left breast and armpit, which has always been a source of concern. After a mammogram I'm always referred to an ultrasound and vice versa. The way they look at me after the exam is absolutely terrifying and after both results are compared I'm told they're fine.

My fingers are crossed for you.

Conolly X

I work from home (I'm a baker) so I have plenty to get on with, I just don't know if I can concentrate. I should also say that my surgeon that removed the DCIS last year was there and we had a quick chat too, she also was concerned. So 2 specialists very concerned ☹️

Thank you for replying, it means a lot x
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AgathaC

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2019, 10:00:36 PM »

I'm sending positive vibes your way.
Waiting for anything is difficult but dreadful if you suspect it is something like this. You were treated successfully last year and you are clearly very breast aware. I worry constantly about breast problems, fuelled by health anxiety and family history. My sister was unwell aged 37 and is now well and about to be 52. Take some comfort from the great care last year. Whatever it is you need to attack it positively. Keep posting. Lots of positive stories on here.
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Conolly

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2019, 10:06:59 PM »

You're a baker, lovely!

Yes, to concentrate is hard. To be honest, I think it was a bit unethical to worry you before the biopsy results. If you could do something about it, like stop eating salt for BP issues...but that's not the case. I think many doctors can't handle diagnosis correctly and IMHO this is a sign that the they may not be 'experts'.

I have a lot of trouble sleeping at night, so if you want to chat I'll be available.

Conolly X


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KAH

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2019, 02:20:17 AM »

Thank you lovely ladies. As suspected I am wide awake and going crazy with horrible thoughts. Husband is being great but nothing is going to get me back to sleep.

On a positive, I'm lying here and can hear an owl tooting 🦉, what a lovely sound!
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NorthArm

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2019, 10:34:12 AM »

Hi KAH - just wanted to wish you luck xx. And I'm not going to tell you not to worry, because that's impossible - so just try and take things day by day, if you can. Also take heart that whatever it is has been found very early and is still less than an inch in size, so hopefully can be treated very easily and you make a full recovery ❤️❤️
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KAH

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2019, 12:01:27 PM »

Another one here with chronic health anxiety and who knows what hell it is waiting for results.
I think the ‘experts' telling you they are concerned is unbelievably unprofessional, and cruel. Maybe they aren't so great at their jobs!
When I am super anxious  I cannot focus on much at all so I tend to watch old comedies on telly or comedy panel shows or. Lying in bed in the middle of the night worrying has to be near the top of the list of hellish experiences.
Thinking of you!

Thank you guys.
I think they wouldn't have said anything unless they were very sure, and to be honest I asked the question of how likely is it to be C and I asked them to be completely honest so I guess they were!!
After speaking to my step-mum this morning and knowing my sister in laws story, I'm so surprised at how many people are misdiagnosed purely through the mammogram not showing anything up. If 3 people in my immediate family have all had the same, how many other people must have had the same experience!
Oh also, I've been to see my GP this morning and am now on beta-blockers which will hopefully help me get through this week!
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jaypo

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2019, 12:37:48 PM »

Hi kah,my mum her sister and their mother all had breast cancer and mastectomies, I too depend on mammographies but I do also check myself often,I've also been recalled afterwards but thankfully all ok.
I'm really just here to wish you all the luck in the world,like northarm I'm not going to tell you not to worry,as I'd be beside myself.
Hopefully they're telling you worst case scenario and all will be ok.much love to you ❤️
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KAH

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2019, 01:50:14 PM »

Hi kah,my mum her sister and their mother all had breast cancer and mastectomies, I too depend on mammographies but I do also check myself often,I've also been recalled afterwards but thankfully all ok.
I'm really just here to wish you all the luck in the world,like northarm I'm not going to tell you not to worry,as I'd be beside myself.
Hopefully they're telling you worst case scenario and all will be ok.much love to you ❤️

Thank you my lovely.
I hope your family are all fighting fit now xxx
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jaypo

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2019, 04:12:23 PM »

All gone now I'm afraid but none of them died from breast cancer,just old age😊 please let us know how you get on
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KAH

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Re: 'Boobs' story so far....
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2019, 04:24:44 PM »

All gone now I'm afraid but none of them died from breast cancer,just old age😊 please let us know how you get on
Will do, thank you xx
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