Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: KAH on January 28, 2019, 08:39:48 PM
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About 2 years ago I had a mammogram & ultrasound due to my left breast getting bigger and my nipple flattening out compared to the right one. Was told all fine, must be hormones etc.
3 months later, not convinced at all so paid for private appt with top doc (did my sister in laws breast surgery) and he wasn't particularly worried but did an ultrasound and it was all fine.
Last May was referred for lump under right arm which turned out to be fine but they found calcification in left breast. Lots of mammograms & 2 biopsies followed and DCIS was diagnosed followed by surgery to remove the area. Although initially was told I'd need radiotherapy, I didn't end up having it as the area removed in surgery was clear which means the DCIS was removed at biopsy stage.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, when I was referred for a very small lump right at the very bottom of left breast. Not particularly worried due to all the tests last year. Had ultrasound today, doctor was very worried about an area that looks different. So had mammogram, nothing showed up. So she did needle biopsy there & then, then sent me for more detailed mammograms. Results in a week but was told it's 'very likely' it's cancer.
Worried sick for obvious reasons but also because throughout all the tests last year, I never had an ultrasound so even if this area was there then, it wouldn't have been picked up. And because it's so far down (as far down on the boob as you can go), it wouldn't have been checked before, so it could have been there years.
My question, how do I get through the next week knowing I'll probably be told the worst news. I have diazepam which I will take to hopefully get a bit of sleep but I can't eat (had a bit of a sandwich earlier but have just been sick), can't cry though I feel like I desperately need to. Just don't know what to do with myself. Sorry for the long ramble xxx
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Hello KAH,
So sorry you had been through all this. I can't offer any solution regarding worrying and feeling sick, I'd feel exactly the same.
I can't agree with the 'very likely' though. If she hasn't the biopsy results, is she basing her assumption on the 'more detailed mammogram'?
You're not rambling at all, keep posting, this is also therapeutic.
Huge hug,
Conolly X
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Sending a hug your way KAH. You're bound to be feeling anxious and sick but I agree with Connolly that nothing is certain . Keep talking to us on here.
Taz x :hug:
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I did feel like I needed to just put it in writing, the whole awful last 2 years. That whole time since I first went with bigger boob, it's been in the back of my mind that something isn't right. I do suffer with terrible anxiety so tried to feel reassured by all the tests I've had, but it's always been there.
When she did the ultrasound, immediately she said there's an area of concern. I guess they see so many cancers on the screen, they become able to spot them just from their appearance. I did ask how big it was, 7x9mm.
Hello KAH,
So sorry you had been through all this. I can't offer any solution regarding worrying and feeling sick, I'd feel exactly the same.
I can't agree with the 'very likely' though. If she hasn't the biopsy results, is she basing her assumption on the 'more detailed mammogram'?
You're not rambling at all, keep posting, this is also therapeutic.
Huge hug,
Conolly X
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I see, thank you for the explanation. All you can do now is wait for the biopsy results. Meanwhile try to keep your mind busy with other things. It's not easy, but it's worth a try. Cleaning the house works for me, it gives me a sense of purpose and control. Only a woman would think of that...
My own experience with mammograms and ultrasounds is that in many circumstances they are very subjective. I have a big fibrocystic area in my left breast and armpit, which has always been a source of concern. After a mammogram I'm always referred to an ultrasound and vice versa. The way they look at me after the exam is absolutely terrifying and after both results are compared I'm told they're fine.
My fingers are crossed for you.
Conolly X
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I see, thank you for the explanation. All you can do now is wait for the biopsy results. Meanwhile try to keep your mind busy with other things. It's not easy, but it's worth a try. Cleaning the house works for me, it gives me a sense of purpose and control. Only a woman would think of that...
My own experience with mammograms and ultrasounds is that in many circumstances they are very subjective. I have a big fibrocystic area in my left breast and armpit, which has always been a source of concern. After a mammogram I'm always referred to an ultrasound and vice versa. The way they look at me after the exam is absolutely terrifying and after both results are compared I'm told they're fine.
My fingers are crossed for you.
Conolly X
I work from home (I'm a baker) so I have plenty to get on with, I just don't know if I can concentrate. I should also say that my surgeon that removed the DCIS last year was there and we had a quick chat too, she also was concerned. So 2 specialists very concerned ☹️
Thank you for replying, it means a lot x
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I'm sending positive vibes your way.
Waiting for anything is difficult but dreadful if you suspect it is something like this. You were treated successfully last year and you are clearly very breast aware. I worry constantly about breast problems, fuelled by health anxiety and family history. My sister was unwell aged 37 and is now well and about to be 52. Take some comfort from the great care last year. Whatever it is you need to attack it positively. Keep posting. Lots of positive stories on here.
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You're a baker, lovely!
Yes, to concentrate is hard. To be honest, I think it was a bit unethical to worry you before the biopsy results. If you could do something about it, like stop eating salt for BP issues...but that's not the case. I think many doctors can't handle diagnosis correctly and IMHO this is a sign that the they may not be 'experts'.
I have a lot of trouble sleeping at night, so if you want to chat I'll be available.
Conolly X
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Thank you lovely ladies. As suspected I am wide awake and going crazy with horrible thoughts. Husband is being great but nothing is going to get me back to sleep.
On a positive, I'm lying here and can hear an owl tooting 🦉, what a lovely sound!
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Hi KAH - just wanted to wish you luck xx. And I'm not going to tell you not to worry, because that's impossible - so just try and take things day by day, if you can. Also take heart that whatever it is has been found very early and is still less than an inch in size, so hopefully can be treated very easily and you make a full recovery ❤️❤️
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Another one here with chronic health anxiety and who knows what hell it is waiting for results.
I think the ‘experts' telling you they are concerned is unbelievably unprofessional, and cruel. Maybe they aren't so great at their jobs!
When I am super anxious I cannot focus on much at all so I tend to watch old comedies on telly or comedy panel shows or. Lying in bed in the middle of the night worrying has to be near the top of the list of hellish experiences.
Thinking of you!
Thank you guys.
I think they wouldn't have said anything unless they were very sure, and to be honest I asked the question of how likely is it to be C and I asked them to be completely honest so I guess they were!!
After speaking to my step-mum this morning and knowing my sister in laws story, I'm so surprised at how many people are misdiagnosed purely through the mammogram not showing anything up. If 3 people in my immediate family have all had the same, how many other people must have had the same experience!
Oh also, I've been to see my GP this morning and am now on beta-blockers which will hopefully help me get through this week!
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Hi kah,my mum her sister and their mother all had breast cancer and mastectomies, I too depend on mammographies but I do also check myself often,I've also been recalled afterwards but thankfully all ok.
I'm really just here to wish you all the luck in the world,like northarm I'm not going to tell you not to worry,as I'd be beside myself.
Hopefully they're telling you worst case scenario and all will be ok.much love to you ❤️
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Hi kah,my mum her sister and their mother all had breast cancer and mastectomies, I too depend on mammographies but I do also check myself often,I've also been recalled afterwards but thankfully all ok.
I'm really just here to wish you all the luck in the world,like northarm I'm not going to tell you not to worry,as I'd be beside myself.
Hopefully they're telling you worst case scenario and all will be ok.much love to you ❤️
Thank you my lovely.
I hope your family are all fighting fit now xxx
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All gone now I'm afraid but none of them died from breast cancer,just old age😊 please let us know how you get on
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All gone now I'm afraid but none of them died from breast cancer,just old age😊 please let us know how you get on
Will do, thank you xx
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Hello KAH,
Just wondering how are you doing... :-*
Conolly X
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Hello KAH,
Just wondering how are you doing... :-*
Conolly X
Hi, Thank you for thinking of me. Not good I'm afraid, this week has been the worst week of my life, I've no idea how I've got through it. I made the mistake of trying to reassure myself by looking for positive stories online.......big no no!!!! I had a problem with doing this years ago and had to force myself to stop so I knew I was asking for trouble but just wanted to hear 1 positive story, which obviously I didn't!!!! Been hysterical quite a few times but Ive spoken to the Breast Care Team a couple of times and I can honestly say they are amazing. I also have diazepam from the doctor now as the beta blockers weren't working. Trying to keep busy but my mind is off doing its own thing. Thanks again for thinking of me xx
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KAH,
My fingers are crossed for you, dear. It's great you're having support form the Breast Care Team. :-*
Conolly X
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When is your next appointment, KAH? Hope it is soon now.
Googling is not very helpful most of the time because we focus on the not so nice stories.
I've had to stop reading the Daily Mail Online for all the crappy gossip because there is always an awful illness story and it sets me off.
On a positive note, read a story recently about someone famous whose wife had a serious breast issue diagnosed. They decided not to do any googling and to put their faith in the doctors and just do what they were told. They just focussed on all the things in their control like sleeping and diet, etc. But they didn't look up the what ifs etc. I'm not sure that works for everyone but it did for them and she got through her treatment very successfully to an all clear status.
My husband often tells me to stop worrying about the things we can't control and just focus on the things we can.
So (I know it's easier said than done), your job is to keep calm and sleep and eat and rest and to try your very best not to worry.
Distraction, jobs, cleaning helps. Crappy television. Sort out your drawers.
Keep us posted and remember we are all wishing you well xxx
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When is your next appointment, KAH? Hope it is soon now.
Googling is not very helpful most of the time because we focus on the not so nice stories.
I've had to stop reading the Daily Mail Online for all the crappy gossip because there is always an awful illness story and it sets me off.
On a positive note, read a story recently about someone famous whose wife had a serious breast issue diagnosed. They decided not to do any googling and to put their faith in the doctors and just do what they were told. They just focussed on all the things in their control like sleeping and diet, etc. But they didn't look up the what ifs etc. I'm not sure that works for everyone but it did for them and she got through her treatment very successfully to an all clear status.
My husband often tells me to stop worrying about the things we can't control and just focus on the things we can.
So (I know it's easier said than done), your job is to keep calm and sleep and eat and rest and to try your very best not to worry.
Distraction, jobs, cleaning helps. Crappy television. Sort out your drawers.
Keep us posted and remember we are all wishing you well xxx
Thank you so much. Strangely I am a lot calmer today, dreading tomorrow & the results but want it to come at the same time just so I know! You're so right in everything you say, it's just hard when you're in the middle of it to remember all of those things, especially having severe health anxiety even before any of this! Thank you once again, I will keep you posted xx
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Let us know kah, I wish you all the luck in the world xx
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The thing is that we all know what we are supposed to do however when you are a health anxiety sufferer, it's difficult at the best of times but completely overwhelming when actually waiting for results.
Yes, I'm sure you just want to get to tomorrow now and then you can move forward. Will be thinking of you and expecting your update xxx
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Yes, please send an update when you feel able xxxxx
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Hi ladies,
I'm back from the breast clinic with confirmation I have breast cancer. I was given a lot of info, none of which has been processed yet but MRI will take place this week with surgery next Thursday (Valentine's day!!!).
I'm in total shock, and also terrified that the MRI will show more than they've already seen. If I thought last week was bad, I literally have no idea how I'll get through until next Monday when I meet with my Consultant for MRI results. Just glad she's pushing everything through so quickly (due to my extreme anxiety). Thank you for all your support throughout the last week x
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I was waiting and hoping you'd let us know how you got on but obviously wanted different news.
It is as you suspected which is upsetting but now you know what it is and you have a plan for the next week or so.
MRI, Surgery, Recovery.
I wish I could give you a big hug in person but I'm sending lots of virtual love.
Keep posting every day if you feel like it and we'll be here to listen and reply xxxxx
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Oh kah I'm so so sorry, I kept checking to see if you'd post,hoping hoping it would be good news.
Caught early though,you know it's a very good recovery?ive known many people who've had breast cancer and gone on to live cancer free for years and years.sending much love 💖
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Yes, Jaypo, you are right. My sister was 37 and is now 51. My aunt was 56 and is now 74.
KAH - leave the googling if you can and just absorb the positive stories we are sending your way.
xxxxxx
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I think it's a very curable cancer nowadays,my mum lived for another 35 years after her diagnosis as did her mum and we've come on a great deal since then too
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Thank you ladies. The Consultant was positive about the outlook but of course nothings certain and it's just that fear that Ive had for the past 2 years since my boob changed thats worrying me. Worried the MRI will confirm my fear that something's been wrong that whole time.
Explained my worries with Consultant and she said I would have had further obvious changes if I'd had untreated cancer for 2 yrs+ but you hear so many stories that say otherwise. Will try to remain positive but it's going to be a struggle xxx
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Dear KAH,
Your consultant is right and so are the ladies who have given you examples of total recovery.
We're all thinking of you and sending positive vibes. There are many brilliant women on this forum who are breast cancer survivors. You will fight this thing and come back stronger.
Huge Hug, 💕🤗
Conolly X