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[Elizabethrose]

Dorothy, I've just caught up with this thread and wanted to apologise to you if you feel we've disregarded your comments and thoughts. I really don't think that was intended at all but aside from Hurdity, who made her thoughts very clear at the start of the thread, you are the only one who has expressed a concern about men accessing the site, which must make you feel under attack! So much can be misconstrued from the written word but I really don't think anyone was meaning to cause you offence.

I really don't think anything will change here so this conversation is pretty moot anyway.

All good wishes to you x

[Emma]

The forum's software has, in your Profile, the option to select if you are a male or female. These are the only two options.
Registered members are allowed access to the Private Lives board. If men were allowed to join, the only way to disallow access to that board would be via the select option in the profile.
There's nothing to stop a man selecting 'female' and then accessing the board.

Women who have been posting for years on the understanding that the Private Lives board is for women only, would be frantically deleting their posts and accounts ruining the forum. Also the legal aspect may have to be considered. If you've agreed to join a women-only forum and find out later that men have been allowed access to your private posts, that's a breach of trust.

[Cazikins]

Thanks Emma. The only thing I want to add is this.

Is it possible for any new members to be exclude from the private section till they have made say 20+ posts? a bit like being unable to send private messages till established on the forum?

That way eagle eyed members will be able to spot them & report them as being male.

I have no opinion if we let male members in or not on as I believe that we have had them lurking here for years & years. I always bare that in mind when I post anything.

Cazikins

[Megamind]

Good idea Cazikins.

[Hurdity]

Heavens - didn't realise that all this would be unleashed!

Thank-you for clarification of the technical/legal aspects Emma. Is it possible please to have a sticky post in the Forum Guide saying that the forum is for women only if you think appropriate or something in the introductory e-mail which refers to the Registration agreement as it seems that members have not read it?  I am still amazed that there are members who were not aware of this.

Aside from these - just to emphasise that there is a principle at stake here too - which is what my original post was about, as well as to help inform those who were not aware of the women only rule. In view of some of the things that have been said,  I want to add something to clarify - but I see I have already said it as plain as can be in my original post ie that:

*Men have access to all the information on this website and almost everything on the forum -  they just can't post. Campaigning for the education of men in menopausal problems is of course desirable but a different issue in this context.

*There is nothing to stop men posing as women to join the forum (and of course there will be men who are members) but anyone who identifies themselves as such or posts anything likely to make women feel uncomfortable or for example to invite sexual content - whether male or female (which has happened) is soon removed.

It was not only Dorothy who expressed concern about men accessing (posting on) the site and specifically the Private Lives board - Taz did so as well - and I don't think it's a question of numbers - there are several hundred (thousand?) members of this forum. How things have changed - but glad to see it's not just a generational thing.  It's not a question of just obeying rules - I am all for challenging rules if they are unreasonable or outdated. A few years ago most of those posting in response would have wholeheartedly agreed and welcomed the continuing restriction of membership of the forum to women.  It's part of its raison d'etre surely? I am still incredulous that quite a few of you think otherwise! The Private Lives section contains some very explicit intimate and personal content - without going into detail - which has nothing whatsoever to do with how open some members are about such matters with their nearest and dearest. Aside from Emma's crucial point about the position of previous posts there and implication of any such change,  I think if men were permitted to post as members, it could make life very difficult for the Moderators because of the likely need for increased moderation in this section particularly.

None of this minimises the concern of some enlightened men in wanting to help their partners at this critical time specifically through discussion, rather than passively obtaining information as they can do now - but allowing all men to join the forum is not the way to achieve this!

Hurdity x

[Cazikins]

Heavens - didn't realise that all this would be unleashed!

I did 
It's a subject that everyone is entitled to have an opinion to Hurdity, & some people are giving it in the same way as you have.

Maybe it would have been better for you to have sent your original concerns directly to Emma to sort out - after all she is the administrator.

Cazikins x

[Hurdity]

Heavens - didn't realise that all this would be unleashed!

I did 
It's a subject that everyone is entitled to have an opinion to Hurdity, & some people are giving it in the same way as you have.

Maybe it would have been better for you to have sent your original concerns directly to Emma to sort out - after all she is the administrator.

Cazikins x

Charming!  At what point are you suggesting I should have sent my concerns to Emma? I am confused! Um I didn't have any concerns except that there was a man posting -  which as I said in the thread - I reported to Emma (without comment as this was unnecessary!) but started the thread because I was so surprised as I said in my original post and thought it would be helpful to explain since the original thread was lost!

Did I ever suggest that people were not entitled to give their opinion? I just said I was surprised at it that's all!

Hurdity x

[Elizabethrose]

  I agree again Cazikins, but maybe Emma isn't the only administrator here!

Emma seems able to set out the facts in an undictatorial, informative, unpatronising way, and I applaud her for that.

Taz I'm sorry that I didn't mention you in my post to Dorothy, I had overlooked your comment.

[Cazikins]

Please calm down Hurdity, maybe I misunderstood your posts as you do sometimes put a lot of exclamation marks.

What I am trying to say is that as you were concerned about a man posting then maybe a pm to Emma instead was a better option, but you posted about the rules etc in detail on the open forum. You are bound to get responses.

I'm not trying to get at you I promise....oh crikey I'm scared to say anything now in case I annoy you 

[CLKD]

Emma hasn't answered suggestions that a man-only area be added or if it is possible to make a different Forum with similar info in it that we have here. 

If I report anything untoward to Emma then I say so in the appropriate thread, i.e. if someone is selling porn etc.  otherwise, how are other Members to know that action has been taken 

[breeze]

Chill ladies.

Tomorrows another day.

[CLKD]

Men - if you're out there, get your ladies to join in: we don't bite, except when there's a 'Y' in the day 

[Megamind]

'A few years ago most of those posting in response would have wholeheartedly agreed and welcomed the continuing restriction of membership of the forum to women'.

Times change !

[nearly50]

'A few years ago most of those posting in response would have wholeheartedly agreed and welcomed the continuing restriction of membership of the forum to women'.

Times change !

and attitudes, thankfully. I just think information on what to expect and how to deal with it should go out to as many people as is possible. Everyone should be mindful about protecting their anonymity, if that is important to them. As has been said before though, all a moot point as it is up to the admins what they do.

[CLKD]

Also as a multi-ethnic society if ladies of certain cultures want to find out more info., they won't be relaxed if they think that men are on here too.  Despite living in the 21st Century, there is still control by men over their women being seen/examined by un-related GPs and Consultants so having a safe place to browse is important.  I was a consort isn't the correct word  to a Consultant but even being present with a Registered Nurse, the lady would not undress ......... do I mean chaperone?