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[nearly50]

Dorothy, really sorry you feel this way. I don't think your views are being dismissed, just that others have a different view. Suely people would only identify you if they already knew a lot about you? I think the guy who posted has got more to worry about than trying to work out our real life IDs.

[breeze]

Yes, there is no proof of who any of us are.  It's just not possible.

You just have to hope that most people are honest and leave it at that.  It's no biggie really.  Just be careful what you say and be aware of anything that does not seem quite right.

There a lot of bad stuff out there, but you need a little trust too.

[Dana]

I don't think anyone has dismissed your opinions.  It's just that others have just given their opinions too and they are also valid. 

I don't understand what you mean by double standards.  Any time you post something on the internet there is always going to be the possibility that someone recognises you. That's why you always need to be careful about what information you post. That's everyone's own personal responsibility.

As has already been pointed out, men can pretty much access 90% of the information on MM anyway without even being a member. To me it just seems like a rule that doesn't really do much except stop them from asking questions, which I would have thought we should be encouraging.

Anyway, as I said at the beginning of my first post here, that is my personal opinion.

[Dorothy]

Now, where does this "for women only" rule leave the transgenders, non-binary genders and inbetweeners? They are very interested in sex hormones! 

I was thinking the same thing - it is very unusual to see such binary definitions of gender nowadays.

I'm glad anon1889 had forewarning that he would be removed before it happened, as he really did seem to be crying out for help when he posted.

By 'women only' it presumably means those who have (or have had) wombs and who will therefore go through/be going through/have been through menopause? 

[Taz2]

When we signed up to this forum we read the rules and agreed with them or why would we want to join? Although it is obvious that we would feel sorry for a man who is seeking advice so that he can help his wife (if indeed menopause is at the root of their problems) it is still a women-only forum and I think that we should respect the original decision to set it up as just that. Obviously there may be men registered on here but if a man joins, stating that he is a man, then the rules have to be followed.

I find the Private Lives section very useful - I wouldn't feel as comfortable sharing thoughts on there knowing that men (maybe my men!) are also reading them. Also, there is a difference between men being able to read 90% of our posts but not comment and being able to read them and then comment on them.

It is difficult to write opinions down on such a sensitive subject without upsetting others. 

Taz x

[nearly50]

By 'women only' it presumably means those who have (or have had) wombs and who will therefore go through/be going through/have been through menopause?

They won't all identify as women though.

[Dorothy]

If a forum is set up for one purpose, to help, inform and support women through the menopause, you can't really criticise it for not fulfilling another purpose.  If there is a need for a forum for men whose partners are going through menopause, I'm sure someone will set one up at some point.

By 'women only' it presumably means those who have (or have had) wombs and who will therefore go through/be going through/have been through menopause?

They won't all identify as women though.

Maybe not, but I'm sure not all the partners who read 'advice for husbands' are husbands (or even male) but no one seems to be complaining about that!

[nearly50]

Maybe not, but I'm sure not all the partners who read 'advice for husbands' are husbands (or even male) but no one seems to be complaining about that!

That language is also very out of date. Not complaining BTW, just stating that you don't often see statements like 'women only' in these non binary times. At the end of the day, this is a privately run forum and it is up to the owners how it is run.

[Dorothy]

I know it's out of date, but I like it - I think it's because it takes me back to childhood when that was common usage.     I'm feeling very nostalgic for my childhood right now (though I'm sure I would have hated to be a woman back then as it would have been far too restrictive!)

[CLKD]

Dorothy - I think we had a thread on childhood memories ; or does my memory lack memory  .  If I remember I'll go 'search'.  I'm sorry that you feel dismissed but the printed word is static .......

I joined knowing that it is a medic-led, woman only Forum - where I can say what I like without men lurking.  Mine never reads my e-mails or Forums anyway ..... I also have a false name as I don't want to be identified but anyone who knows me well enough  ...... in fact, I did leave for a few months years ago because I had invited a friend who was struggling to join then realised I had given lots away 

Time Emma or Heather made comment?

[breeze]

Wow, ladies. You seem to be finding things to argue about, where there really is none. There is a lot bigger things out there, to worry about than this.

If anyone has any concerns just message the administrators.

[CLKD]

We shouldn't need to do that, 'they' should be reading and making comment .....

I thought of something to add, however, that strange woman in my house has interrupted my thought patterns 

[ancient runner]

CLKD - that's such a tricky one, isn't it? I've thought of encouraging real life friends to join but realised I might be identifiable and while I'm pretty open about most things, you can ask privately about specific things on here if you see what I mean. So I tend not to recommend the forum because I don't want to be "outed". I can quite see why you might disappear for a few months and rejoin under a new identity.
On the rest of it - I would hate to think anything I've said in this thread might have upset anyone. I agree it's great to have the female support on here. Don't want to lose a women-only space. But it is hard not to feel sorry for a man who was doing his best to ask an informed group of women about what his wife might be going through with good intentions. Perhaps we should have pointed him at the Mumsnet meno board? Wonder if we could somehow signpost men that way?

[CLKD]

  -  I kept my head down for a while 


It's difficult - if men find it as hard as women do to get straight sensible answers from their GPs  ........  hopefully if he found anything of use here, he will direct his Wife to us ......... come on in, we don't bite!

[Dana]

I'm generally a fairly private person, but I guess I don't have a problem with being outed by friends because I've always been pretty open with them about my experinces in life, not just meno, so I'm sure any who may come here probably would have already heard most of my stories.

Just one more point I will make though is how would any women feel if they weren't allowed to post on say a prostate cancer support forum even though their partner could be affected by it? I think a lot of women would feel they had a right to be involved in discussions about it because it affected their life too, and men can't always be relied on to be proactive about their health. We can't always have everything our way and expect to be included in everything if we aren't prepared to reciprocate.

Anyway it appears this discussion is moot because, by the lack of input from admin, it's fairly obvious there is no intention to even discuss this rule. So be it. They are the rule makers. I don't have any men in my life who are going to need to learn more about menopause because I will tell them everything they need to know, but there are a lot of women who need more male support.