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[honorsmum]

I am anticipating crying in my appointment - just to be able to talk to a health professional that is going to listen and understand and empathise will be such a HUGE relief!
I actually cried when I was being wheeled back to recovery after a colonoscopy, having been told finally I had Crohn's. 9 months of being made to feel like it was all in my head and that I simply needed to relax and eat more (and take higher and higher doses of antidepressants). Crohn's is a horrible disease, but just knowing there was a reason for how horrendous I had been feeling, physically and mentally was such a weight off my shoulders.

[BrightLight]

It's worth the money and the time to go private, I am sad to say that, but this is about the 6th situation in the last few weeks that I have come across that is similar with regard to delays causing a lot of distress, physically and mentally. Awful that you had to wait so long for a diagnosis for Crohn's and I remember you mentioned your father having difficulty with diagnosis.  It's just not good for wellbeing to have these experiences. 

I am getting really excited for you that you will indeed find some validation and support very soon

[honorsmum]

Aw, that's so lovely of you!

The worst thing about the Crohn's misdiagnosis is that it caused me to doubt my own instincts (which seem to be very reliable) - I absolutely knew there was something seriously physically wrong with me (and I was pretty sure what it was), but being told there wasn't actually made me think I must be going mad.
Also, while my GP knows she cocked up, she still treats me as if that whole period WAS anxiety - and of course, it's all over my notes for that time. It really feels like I've been rubber stamped under "mental health", wrongly.

[BrightLight]

The way you are approaching your current situation might just rectify that fall in confidence about your own instincts - I really hope so.  At the end of the day we need to trust ourselves, whether we are taking medication, not taking medication, mentally or physically unwell.  I call it empowerment and with it, all manner of situations become more bearable and even less distressing in some ways.

Annie Evans sure looks like an empowered woman to me.

Totally my personal opinion but I really think the NHS is very backward in it's approach to mental health - it is intrinsic in everything and this is becoming clear in all areas of life.  Emotional well being in schools, in the workplace etc and I hope the GP's soon get a better grip on it and not marginalise or talk about it as if it is a seperate and all encompassing 'diagnosis'.  More often than not our mental health does suffer at the same time as a physical ailment, whether it's pain you are living with or bashes to self esteem.  GP's are still ignoring mental health aspects unless it is a full blown disorder presenting itself!  There are so many ways to acknowledge someones emotional wellbeing - a simple validation would help!  My rant is over

[honorsmum]

You are so right.
My biggest issue with the attitude of my GP is that she has not once shown any empathy when talking about anxiety - honestly, she says the word with a roll of the eyes, a shrug of her shoulders and a sigh...as if to say, you need to try harder and stop being neurotic.
Not once has she offered reassurance - she's almost completely devoid of any emotion or feeling. When I saw her after I was carjacked at knifepoint and traumatised, she said I needed to write it off as my "fifteen minutes of bad luck".
When she picked up my tachycardia, her precise words were, "your heart is beating out of your flippin' chest!" - like it was something I should be able to control.

Her entire basis of diagnosis is test results - if the tests she orders are "normal", you have anxiety and need antidepressants. End of.

[BrightLight]

"carjacked at knifepoint" - "fifteen minutes of bad luck"  - what! Really, I don't want to add to your feelings of being let down, but really I have to say, you really have been let down.    I have had the rolling eyes and the toss away comment of anxiety but really, anxiety isn't always controllable and does not always need medication.

Please do consider some bodywork - I think you had reflexology.  It's brilliant for calming the body mind, particularly if you have had a shock/trauma that might be 'held' in your body.  A comforting touch is worth a lot - that's just my take on it, being someone that has worked in this area. Take care and ignore the heartless GP

[Briony]

Take care and ignore the heartless GP

             

Well said, BrightLight!

[honorsmum]

Thanks Bright Light and Briony.
The more I think about my GP, the more angry I feel. I'm not intending to see her again if I can help it - in fact, I'm considering changing surgeries because none if the women GPs that I've seen there have been particularly empathetic or supportive.

I'm quite open to body work therapy, Bright Light. I did an aromatherapy course some years ago, and have had acupuncture, osteopathy, reflexology etc. I'm planning on seeing my reflexology monthly, and maybe trying more acupuncture. 

[BrightLight]

I am also on the verge of changing surgery, a supportive GP is on my current wish list

I know a little about aromatherapy - mainly burning oils but have enjoyed massage over the years.  I have also used all those modalities and can't wax lyrical enough about bodywork - it just puts me back in touch with myself and I feel better placed to know what is right/wrong with me  

I am still shocked at your GP's lack of empathy

[Briony]

Apologies if I have already said this to you, but I really do recommend changing surgeries. I could kick myself for not doing so sooner! I struggled for two years battling a very narrow minded, chauvinistic GP and my confidence at the time was at such an all time low, I never once considered moving - despite leaving him in tears on more than one occasion. Seeing another partner was useless as I felt they all covered for each other and one wouldn't go against anything another had said.

It wasn't until a work colleague got very frustrated with me moaning 'again' about my doctor and told me to 'move GP or shut up' that I did something positive. Rather than simply signing up with any that would take me on, I did my homework. Once I had narrowed it down in terms of opening times and locations, I then explored the GP's interests and qualifications. In my new practice all but one is a DRCOG whereas previously none were. Once I had a short list, I went and personally visited each 'potential' surgery, noting the attitude of the reception staff and even the types of things advertised on the walls/leaflets available. One of the deciding factors with the surgery I went for was that they had a patients' forum regularly, clearly valued feedback and advertised slightly less conventional (medically linked) things on their walls.

As I write this, I am aware that I sound slightly crazy/obsessive, but our health is such a critical aspect of our lives that I think such 'research' is justified!

Going to see my GP no longer causes my blood pressure to rise and I feel, at all times, I am heard. It's a very collaborative approach, so different to what I was used to.

Good luck to you both x

[BrightLight]

Briony - I actually value your tips because I have hesitated thinking "what if the next one is just as bad".  I have only recently become totally fed up and have tried most of the GP's - there is one left to try and after that I will need to do as you have.

What is DRCOG?  Your ideas for checking things out are great, thanks.

[honorsmum]

Thank you so much for the advice, Briony.
The final nail in the coffin for me has been suspecting that I gave been discussed among the reception staff, because I complained about them giving out misinformation about test results.

I have just looked into the practice that shares the same building, having asked for recommendations on a FB community page, and 2 of the female GP s are DRCOG.

[honorsmum]

Briony - I actually value your tips because I have hesitated thinking "what if the next one is just as bad".  I have only recently become totally fed up and have tried most of the GP's - there is one left to try and after that I will need to do as you have.

What is DRCOG?  Your ideas for checking things out are great, thanks.

Diploma of the Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology.

[BrightLight]

Briony - I actually value your tips because I have hesitated thinking "what if the next one is just as bad".  I have only recently become totally fed up and have tried most of the GP's - there is one left to try and after that I will need to do as you have.

What is DRCOG?  Your ideas for checking things out are great, thanks.

Diploma of the Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology.

Great, thank you

[BrightLight]

All the doctors I have seen so far have DRCOG after there names - perhaps they need a refresher course