I would suggest that you have a long chat with your GP. Talk through the various anti-depressant options. Ask how they work, what they are designed for and what other conditions they might help because some ADs have been found to help with hot flushes. If you decide to go the AD route, how about taking 2 weeks from work? That way you aren't ruled by the alarm, you don't have to justfiy yourself to anyone and you can take your time adjusting.
It can take up to 3 months before a sufferer begins to realise that actually, they are beginning to feel better.
Also the ADs used now are NOT like the valium-types used in the 1960s so a patient cannot become 'hooked'. The brain can become used to a drug so it may require weaning off because the side-effects felt initially come back, but they are not addictive.
Also - again
- why feel that you have to explain that you are taking ADs
- do you tell people each time you go to the loo, when you change your socks, which cereal you eat?
Keeping a mood/food diary can help as can a journal - vent, vent, vent ......... once the depression and anxiety 'lifts' we can see the 'wood for the trees' and can make more informed decisions.