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[grumpy2008]

Thanks, to all of you. They said it was smallish (2cm? doesn't sound small to me?) and confined to one area. Nothing in the lymph nodes, which is good news. It's too early for me to see the positive in all of this, but I'm sure there are a lot of things to be grateful for 

[Silly]

 
Just wanted to send you this. 

I've had two separate breast lump scares so I know how worrying it is. 

Hope you are ok.

G Girl xxx

[Taz2]

Under the staging system Grumpy yours is the lowest - stage 1 - which means the lump is up to 2cm with no spread to lymph  nodes. When you feel ready the Macmillan site is, in my opinion anyway, the best in giving clear advice and explanations as to different cancer stages and what to expect in terms of treatment etc.

Taz xx

[grumpy2008]

Thanks Taz, I'll look at the site when I'm ready

And thanks for the hug guinea girl

[Silly]

You're welcome

[Firewalker50]

Hi Grumpy

Sending you a hug

If it is cancer, then they appear to have caught it very early. 

No words can truly reassure you right now - you have to walk in your own shoes - and I think every one of us would feel uneasy or anxious.  It is the waiting and the uncertainty.

I have had three friends in the past two years who have had breast cancer - different types and stages.   All three expressed the same feelings as you have done.   All three have completed their treatments (which varied to suit their personal situation) and all three are now clear and looking fantastic!   (the last one got the all clear about a month ago).   Hard to believe in a close circle, there were three!

And as Rowan and Hurdity said, it may be a benign lump with nothing to worry about.

Taz's link is a good idea if and when you want to look at it - it may help you to feel more in control and knowledgeable about what feels out of your control.
.

Fx

[grumpy2008]

Thanks Firewalker, for your reassurance and support.

I think I was in shock earlier. The tears have started now... 

[CLKD]

Whatever or whoever gave you cause for concern?      A lump can be caused by many things.  Mine was clinically 'non sinister'; at first exam the Consultant took needle biopsies (ouch) and the fluid was sent away to the Lab..  A mammogram was arranged.  Surgery was scheduled but I was too depressed to undergo so I cancelled.  4 months later the lump was removed, he apparently "had in his hand what he expected to find".    ......... somewhere along the line I had a bone scan (all over body X-ray) - can't remember whether it was prior or between surgeries - the lump went to histology where it was found to have 'changes in the margins' so within the week I underwent the 2nd op, when lymph nodes were removed from under my arm pit - now the hair doesn't grow there    .......... and I underwent a course of radiation therapy for 4 weeks in case any cells remained.

Still here    ..........

2 years later I wondered why I had fussed and felt anxious about the whole procedure: but we do, we will, because of the un-known!  Write a list to take to either your GP or your next appt., otherwise you *will* forget to ask those niggly questions that are there in the early hours!

[sweettooth]

Grumpy i am so sorry to hear your news, i can only imagine your anxiety, i am in no way dressing it up but one big plus is you have got it early IF it is more serious.

Thinking of you

ST xx

[Hannah1]

Big hugs from me too Grumpy - I am a worrier myself so can understand your anxiety. Wishing you the very best and hoping that it will be nothing to worry about.

Take care

Hannah x

[Joyce]

Sorry I'm just catching up on this thread as been quite busy.  Grumpy, thinking of you.

[grumpy2008]

You're right, CLKD, it's the unknown that's the problem. We're in limbo right now. Unfortunately I've had a lot of experience with cancer over the years, with my mum and grandmother. I can't shake my negativity at the moment and there are issues I need to deal with. The consultants described the lump as 'sinister' and seemed fairly sure that's what it is. I doubt the biopsy result will show anything different.

My mind's in turmoil, my husband is very upset too and our very perceptive 12 year old is picking up on it all. We don't want to burden friends and family with this but being open about it might be the better choice, for everyone? No idea how I'll tell my aging dad and my sister, after what we went through with mum...

I have always maintained a positive attitude, truly believing there was a good chance it wouldn't happen to me. I never smoked, never took hormones, ate pretty well and my health is generally very good. This has completely knocked the wind out of me...

[lily]

So sorry to hear about this grumpy.  I would hold off telling everyone just now if it was me.  Will be thinking of you, positive thoughts winging their way through to you. x

[Rowan]

I am so sorry grumpy, I would have thought the consultant would have held off using the word ""sinister" until the results of the biopsy it would have saved you the worry of uncertainty and fear, once the results were known and if it was positive at least things would start to happen and you could concentrate on dealing with it.

As you say you are in limbo at the moment and that is almost harder to cope with.

I am thinking of you and sending love and hope to you x

[grumpy2008]

Both consultants used the word sinister . Perhaps my family history has concerned them or maybe their experience tells them what it's likely to be. The breast cancer nurse gave me her card and counselled both myself and my husband from the point of view that it IS cancer. Any hope I had was shot by that stage  . We were also shuffled around out of view of the other patients who were there for screening.

It has been a traumatic experience, whatever the outcome, but I do want to say that the care team were extremely good. I even found the mammogram more comfortable than I ever have in the past. And the core biopsy was uncomfortable but ok. It's the fallout that I'm having problems dealing with.

I'm using this weekend to get my head together. I'm supposed to be in work on Monday. No idea how I'll concentrate!