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[purplenanny]

Hope you have a lovely day with your Mum Pennyfarthing, she is doing well. Treasure the moments together, wish I had my Mum around. Happy days
PN x x

[honeybun]

Oh I know that sinking feeling when she does not answer the phone. 

We also have a neighbour who will if asked go knock on the door.

She knows when me and sis will phone but it never occurs to her that if the time goes by and she has not heard from us that we might be trying to get ahold of her.

Parents 

Honeyb
x

[Bette]

I have been known to drive over to Mum's when she hasn't answered the phone or when it's been engaged "permanently." Once the phone was out of order - she realised but had thought of using a neighbour's phone to let us know  and a couple of times it's been because she's forgotten to press the red button to hang up. Once I could hear the tv on and her chatting happily to her sister who was staying!
Mum seems to be doing really well at the moment. The gp has visited her again and has decided not to refer her to the hospital for memory assessment for now as he thinks that she's doing fine. Social services are taking over her care from Tues evening so it'll be interesting to see how that works out. I'll be home on Weds, so the timing is quite good. She asked today where her "files" are - where she files away bank statements, bills etc. She wasn't coping with it since coming out of hospital, so I took them home a few weeks ago and have been doing it. When I said that and then said "I can clear them out and bring them back so that you can start doing it again if you want" she replied "That's a good idea." That's really encouraging, as she'd stopped even trying to understand her post and was just handing it over to me to deal with. i thought things were improving when she queried something from her last bank statement last week - I'd transferred a lump sum from her current account into her ISA - that's the first time she'd actually read one since coming home. The gp did say that she might just be recovering from the stress of the hospital stay. The short term memory problems are still there but then, they were appearing before all this happened.
I do discuss things with her and advise her on things - like not walking over to the shops on her own yet but waiting till I can go with her a couple of times to make sure that it's not too far - but when it comes down to it, it is her life and it's important that she enjoys it as best she can. My heart has leapt a couple of times when she's mentioned things like knocking over a plant and cleaning up the spilt soil and cleaning out her bird bath but in her 90s, she surely has the right to live life how she wants to. Wrapping her up in cotton wool (or trying to!) may give her a bit longer but being happy now is surely what matters? Knowing her as I do, being independant will keep her happy and healthy much longer than feeling that she's got to wait for someone else to do everything.
Bette x

[Cazikins]

That sounds very positive Bette, it is so reassuring & uplifting when you can see things improving.

Many times I have phoned Dad & he has taken ages & ages to answer it & it is always the same excuse:

"I was taking a shower... or I was in the toilet". Now Dad has one shower a week, always on a Thursday, the rest of the time he has a strip wash at the sink & I know this  . I don't ask anymore Bette  .

He takes the phone with him to the bathroom but he always tells me why it has taken him so long to answer - in the meantime I'm panicking that he has had a fall.

Anyway glad your mum is doing ok.

xxx

[Bette]

When we were there last week, OH returned from the bathroom with a smile on his face - and the phone! Now, I know that she always takes it in there with her "just in case" - despite wearing an alarm pendant and having pull cords in every room - mainly, I think, so that she can answer if it rings. (We have had slightly odd conversations in the past, only for her to finally admit "Well, actually I'm in the loo"!  ) Anyway, OH says "Mum, where's the phone?" and she says "There, on the trolley." She then looks and says "Oh, I must have left it somewere." He says "Yes, in the bathroom." She shrugs and says "Never mind, I would have found it if it had rung and I know where the bedroom one is." That told him!
Bette x

[honeybun]

Its great news that she is improving Bette.....she sounds so....nice. Can I borrow her please.

My mother has the dietitian coming next week. She does not want me there in case I embarrass her and sister is to keep her mouth shut. What on earth do you do with someone like that. I do all her cooking and try really hard to make sure they are well balanced and nourishing. Damned if you do and damned if you dont. 

Honeyb
x 

[Bette]

  Honeyb.
Bette x

[Cazikins]

Dad didn't make the collection on Saturday. I went round to see him today & he had taken a tumble on Friday which he did not mention when I rang him on Friday  .
He has bruising on his upper left arm & a cut on his right arm. He says he had a wobble in the kitchen on Friday morning & has been taking things easy ever since.
Oh I do wish I knew what to do for the best - he just wont tell us these things unless we see the evidence.
He seemed ok in himself & I don't think he is any worse for the tumble.

These old soldiers are tough.

Love Cazi xx

[Trey]

HB, my mother makes yours look like St. Theresa.  Trade anytime.  But mine does not speak to me or my younger sister, only her fav, even after five months of 24/7 nursing care by me in her home.  Count your blessings.
Actually, I really do feel for you because mine was like yours before she got worse and then sister aided and abetted.  Not even a card for Don. this, not this  though.

[honeybun]

You can choose your friends but not your relations. I would not choose mine but then again they may not choose me 

My visit to mother went quite well today. I came home without wanting to kill her so that is an improvement 

She is looking forward to her party and worried about it in equal measure. I do hope it goes well for her and she is not too tired.

Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

Oh Cazi your Dad was probably disappointed - had he thought to ring and explain someone could have taken him along perhaps - hey ho, we can't change Sat. can we.  As for not wearing the socks, maybe he's clinging to the bits of independence that he is able to .........  ...... were we ever as difficult during the 'terrible 2s' ?  It's sort of in reverse!

Mum rang this morning and didn't listen to a word I was trying to say, which means I'll have to write her a letter again this week .......    moaning about the man in her house keeps her going 

[Bette]

Cazi, Mum had several "little" falls over the years and I only ever found out by chance.  There's no point worrying about it as there's really nothing you can do - oh how I wish that I could take my own advice! 
Mum is definitely getting better - she's starting to rebel!  Said on the phone today that she asked m-i-l if she drinks water (this is because we keep nagging her about it) and that the answer was "no." Not sure if that's true but I'm going to prime m-i-l anyway!
Social services have taken over care duties and the lady rang me today (apologising for interupting my holiday  ) to say that Mum seems fine and she doesn't think that she needs any carers. I was half expecting this.... She's agreed to continue the package until I get home and can talk to her and Mum about it.
Bette x

[Eddie]

Social service are great, we get three visits daily for mum. Cazi, has you dad had any help from them?
Eddie. x

[Bette]

I'm sure that they are, Eddie but I think that those receiving care are meant to fit certain "criteria" i.e. "need" certain things. I think that they may well say that Mum doesn't meet their criteria but I'll discuss it with Mum and get in private carers if necessary. She'll need to pay something anyway, I think, because of her savings; I know that it's different in Scotland.
Bette x

[Cazikins]

No Eddie he hasn't,  the trouble is is that he will only say "what do I need them for" -  I can just hear him saying it. 

Oh Cazi your Dad was probably disappointed - had he thought to ring and explain someone could have taken him along perhaps - hey ho, we can't change Sat. can we.  As for not wearing the socks, maybe he's clinging to the bits of independence that he is able to .........  ...... were we ever as difficult during the 'terrible 2s' ?  It's sort of in reverse!

Too true CLKD.