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Menopause Matters magazine ISSUE 82 out now. (Winter issue, November 2025)

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Author Topic: New Post-Meno Member with questions  (Read 1387 times)

The MorrĂ­gan

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New Post-Meno Member with questions
« on: December 15, 2025, 01:10:03 PM »

Good day to you all.  I completed menopause almost a decade ago, and am now 63.  I have no children - not through design, but because my body just wouldn't stay pregnant.  Probably just as well really, as my marriage fell to bits after the final IVF cycle ...  I've been single since before peri-menopause, apart from the occasional deeply regretted dalliance, which was initially a relief, and then became habit, and now - sadly - I think it's all too late, and if a man makes a pass at me now, I am frankly PETRIFIED.  When I was going through the menopause, I experienced terrible night sweats and hot flushes, and was prescribed HRT, but the wisdom back then was that you should take it for the least possible time. So I came off it after around 9 months. I very much regret that, because the advice now seems to be to stay on it as long as you can. And my body has aged more in the past ten years than it did during the previous 40 years.  Inside, it seems, as well as on the outside.  It's not just my face and my boobs that have headed south, I think my pelvis has too. For the past six or so months, I've been experiencing irregular and very painful vaginal muscle spasms directly after orgasm (which I still try to do regularly, to keep things 'ticking over', even though my sex-drive is now almost non-existent). Not every time, but enough to put me off significantly, because the painful spasms last anything up to an hour afterwards. So I did some reading and my research suggested that I might have vaginal atrophy, and that this could be improved by oestrogen pessaries - so I went to see my GP and she prescribed me estradiol 10mg. I didn't mention the spasms to her though, and I should have.  I've been using the estradiol for around six weeks now, the last four weeks being 2x a week rather than every day. During the first week, it was difficult to get the pessary applicator up becuase my poor vag was dry as a bone, and I had pink smears on the toilet paper afterwards. During the second week there far more lubrication and insertion was fine. Then I reduced the dosage to 2x a week instead of every day.  All was fine until last week, when I had a spontaneous and very painful vaginal muscle spasm, which just came out of nowhere.  And, since then, I've had a continuous dull ache in my vagina. Then, last night, when I went to insert my bi-weekly pessary, I found that, despite there being sufficient lubrication, I just couldn't insert the applicator more than about 1.75 inches up my vagina. It just wouldn't go any further up, so I had to insert the pessary barely half way up.  And then I sat in bed with my iPad and did some more research - and found this website - and very thankful I am too that I did.  From reading other threads on this Forum, I now suspect I have a prolaspe of some sort. Just my luck - I haven't even had children. When I have to do the next pessary insertion, on Wednesday, I'll try laying down on my back on my bed, and see if this makes any difference.  And when I know if it does - or doesn't - then I'll book another appointment with my GP, which I am dreading, because I absolutely hate having internal examinations ... Anyway, that's me, and if anyone has any advice or has experienced anything similar, please let me know.  I am currently feeling very gloomy about it all.
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Ayesha

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Re: New Post-Meno Member with questions
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2025, 04:46:24 PM »

Vaginal Atrophy can throw up some very weird symptoms, I also thought I had a prolapse.
Using two pessaries a week from my experience will be hopeless, use every day until you feel better and this can take up to four months. I've been on topical treatment for over five years and I still need to use a pessary every day alongside a smear of Estriol cream twice a day to be symptom free. I am not on systemic HRT.

Have you asked to go back on HRT, if you did well on it before then why not ask to go back. Study this forum, there is valuable information here that will give you the ammunition when dealing with the medical profession, many not having much of a clue concerning GSM (Vaginal Atrophy).   
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CLKD

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Re: New Post-Meno Member with questions
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2025, 07:26:51 PM »

 :welcomemm:  it's the time of year to feel gloomy if we are already stressed with the Season of 'good will'. 

Often marriages fall apart after IVF especially if 1 partner isn't as keen on having children as the other.  How many of us are actually completely honest in these situations?  Was there a reason why your body couldn't hold on to a pregnancy which may impact on menopause.

When I was going through the menopause, I experienced terrible night sweats and hot flushes, and was prescribed HRT, but the wisdom back then was that you should take it for the least possible time. So I came off it after around 9 months. I very much regret that, because the advice now seems to be to stay on it as long as you can.
- bad advice at the time, even now some practitioners would like women to take less HRT rather that considering that it is actually HReplacementT!  Add to that not many knowing enough about vagina atrophy ........ there is a good book :  Me and My Menopause Vagina : worth a read ;-)




  It's not just my face and my boobs that have headed south, I think my pelvis has too. . As oestrogen: the bodies elasticity: levels drop muscles may become lax = aches and pains: dryness, inside and out: deep in the ears, nostrils, vagina, eyes, scalp ....... so your VA treatment, if used every night will ease symptoms.  We can use it every night for ever if required. U may find that inserting slightly inside the vagina whilst in bed will help initially, that your muscles will relax as they become less dry.  I use estriol/ovestin internally with a smear of it on the outer vulva/labia as well as KY Jelly occasionally. Some find that a moistorir on the applicator or prior to inserting a pessary can help too.

Is there a Nurse Practitioner to talk with or a GP with menopausal knowledge?  Take a list of your worries to any appt. so that it is clear how this is impacting on you.

A dilator is recommended for single ladies as well as  :vibe: ;-)

Don't despair!



« Last Edit: December 15, 2025, 07:36:25 PM by CLKD »
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