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[Jules]

It's your body. Just state your needs firmly. As long as you're reasonable and polite, there should be no judgement of you.

Thanks again, Yes, I'm always polite, but I do get upset, due to my long standing health anxiety, which is why I tend to write things out to hand to Drs  and have my husband with me as I know that I often can get quite upset.

I'm not surprised you get upset though. I was the same last year over an issue, and my GP told me impatiently I had health anxiety and referred me to the psychology practitioner, who after assessment told me I didn't, that all my anxieties were for good reason and about real things that had happened. If we were treated with some empathy we'd maybe not be so anxious, and things happen in life that are difficult to handle.

[Clovie]

It's your body. Just state your needs firmly. As long as you're reasonable and polite, there should be no judgement of you.

Thanks again, Yes, I'm always polite, but I do get upset, due to my long standing health anxiety, which is why I tend to write things out to hand to Drs  and have my husband with me as I know that I often can get quite upset.

I'm not surprised you get upset though. I was the same last year over an issue, and my GP told me impatiently I had health anxiety and referred me to the psychology practitioner, who after assessment told me I didn't, that all my anxieties were for good reason and about real things that had happened. If we were treated with some empathy we'd maybe not be so anxious, and things happen in life that are difficult to handle.

Oh I quite agree!

(and I'm sorry you were treated like that   by the people who are supposed to help us in times of need when we are anxious too)

[Katherine]

Hi Clovie,

I forgot to mention, being so anxious and upset is a natural reaction to what you have been through. You shouldn’t have been made to feel like this. I’ve felt like this too after medical appointments. As others have said it’s your body, you have the right to feel how you feel and express it. I think often medical people give reasons and explanations that are false and just based on resourcing issues or covering themselves, but they can’t say that so they will give a different reason but you know it doesn’t make sense. I’ve had some really good healthcare and some really dire. It often just depends on who you get. I really hope you can find a gp that you can trust.

[Clovie]

Hi Clovie,

I forgot to mention, being so anxious and upset is a natural reaction to what you have been through. You shouldn’t have been made to feel like this. I’ve felt like this too after medical appointments. As others have said it’s your body, you have the right to feel how you feel and express it. I think often medical people give reasons and explanations that are false and just based on resourcing issues or covering themselves, but they can’t say that so they will give a different reason but you know it doesn’t make sense. I’ve had some really good healthcare and some really dire. It often just depends on who you get. I really hope you can find a gp that you can trust.

Thank you so very much, again,  Katherine,   

[Katherine]

You’re welcome Clovie, I’m really glad you feel a bit better x

[Clovie]

Hello

Still freaking out, been trying to keep a lid on it - I go from feeling relatively confident I'm Ok to thinking I must be gravely ill.
right now I am thinking there MUST , ACTUALLY, be something seriously wrong with me having what I think of are regular (albeit getting lighter over time) periods with all the PMS etc before them.
I can't possibly still be having periods at almost 62 can I?
My periods have never stopped though?

We sent in a letter to GP/practice manager on Tuesday, or Monday (husband took it up) and part of that was explaining I wasn't coping and asked for anti-depressants (never worked for me before) and something temporary to ease my very bad health anxiety. It was also a complaint on how I've been treated.

I have a scan scheduled soon but it will be right before I bleed so I told the GP I was not going to attend a scan unless it was just after a bleed because my lining would show up as thick before a period.

I feel so alone in this, the doctors have not even got back to me after my letter, I thought they might - considering the urgency of my letter. (I wrote in because I find it very difficult to communicate in person when I'm stressed, I go off tangent and I panic. I'm much more coherent in writing)

Anyway.... having a bad moment 

[Kathleen]

Hello Clovie.


I am sorry that you are having these worries.

From Emma's post on this thread it seems the offer of a scan is reasonable given your age but this doesn't mean that your doctors suspect anything sinister.

The NHS may consider every woman to be post menopausal by age 55 but that is probably just for  guidance, in reality there will always be women who reach post meno much earlier or much later.

 Perhaps agree to the scan, if the lining is thick because you are about to have a period then this should be obvious and it will confirm that you are not yet post menopausal.

I wish you well in whatever you decide to do.

Take care and sending hugs.

K.

[Clovie]

Thanks for the hugs Kathleen, badly needed x

The issue will be that it's on the referral that I'm being seen as a postmenopausal woman with unscheduled PMB even though I'm not menopausal yet, and because I'm on the continuous type of HRT (which hasn't been strong enough to stop my own cycle), I understand that my lining should be 4mm or less, basically at all times due to the level playing field of HRT hormones taken, because they don't acknowledge my cycle as periods.   

If I am scanned before a period it will very likely be more than the 4mm they will want to see, as I am just about the shed it,  and that will set off alarm bells with me needing to have other investigations because it will breech the 4mm level. I want to avoid that due the immense anxiety that will cause and the attempts at explaining my periods still happerning that they just are not listening to, sadly..
I hope I've explained that well.

I have said I only want to be scanned after my period because of this. 

[CLKD]

If this wasn't so serious I would laugh.  Both my Grandmas were in their 80s when they died: Mum is alive at 98, her sister died in her 80s.  Dad was 2 months short of 80 and his 2 brothers nearly 90 when they died.

My sister doesn't remember her menopause ......... and it wasn't discussed with Mum nor MinL.  Though both had panty liners when we cleared out after they vacated their properties 

Clovei - if U were gravely ill U would have a lot more symptoms.  Hormonal upheaval can make us feel dreadful  even when we know that it might be 'the change'.  Don't bother with further scanning, the Dept may well refuse a referral if you've had 'nil of note' results in the last 2 years.  Do take support with you as well as a note of how ill U feel and what U R no able to do .  Ask for a referral to a dedicated menopause clinic, not a gynaecologist!  If necessary, go privately to get the opportunity of discussing your worries without feeling rushed.

Why do U doubt yourself? This is your body and others are making you anxious about what is a natural progression as we age.  I suggest that your husband makes an appt with the Practice Manager for a discussion with notes - the Manager should be impartial. 

[Mary G]

Clovie, have you thought about arranging your own scan privately at a time that suits you ie straight after a bleed?  Hopefully a private clinic will give you instant results too.

[Clovie]

Clovie, have you thought about arranging your own scan privately at a time that suits you ie straight after a bleed?  Hopefully a private clinic will give you instant results too.

I have Mary, but the clinics all say not to book if under NHS for scans? 
I might look into it more , it is a great idea

[Mary G]

Clovie, that sounds like a strange system because it should be completely independent of the NHS.  Do you not have Bupa of Spire clinics in Scotland?  There are other smaller independent clinics in England too and I'm positive they don't question your NHS status. Women usually just ring up and book a scan on a convenient date. 

[Clovie]

Clovie, that sounds like a strange system because it should be completely independent of the NHS.  Do you not have Bupa of Spire clinics in Scotland?  There are other smaller independent clinics in England too and I'm positive they don't question your NHS status. Women usually just ring up and book a scan on a convenient date.

Weird yes. It was one of those Window To The Womb places where pregnant mums can get their extra scans for fun kind of places.

Yes we do have Spire nearby, have used them before - this is a great idea and will discuss with hubby and see how far/soon ahead I can get a scan done, because of the 'I only want one at a specific time' thing, 

[Kathleen]

Hello again Clovie.

I think the private scan is a good idea, I had one about a year ago and no one asked about the NHS. In fact I was in the system for a an NHS scan but I thought it would be a long wait, turns out my appointment came through quite quickly so I told the NHS clinic and my Nurse Practitioner that I had already had it done and they were fine about it. I was able to email all the results to my GP and they were happy with that.

I totally understand your concerns about arranging the timing of your scan but if you still have all the signs of a menstruating woman then surely a thickened lining would be expected and not ring alarm bells.

I hope you get this sorted soon and find some peace of mind. There will always be women who fall outside the average and that shouldn't feel like a problem, medical or otherwise.

Wishing you well and sending more hugs.

K.

[Clovie]

Hello again Clovie.

I think the private scan is a good idea, I had one about a year ago and no one asked about the NHS. In fact I was in the system for a an NHS scan but I thought it would be a long wait, turns out my appointment came through quite quickly so I told the NHS clinic and my Nurse Practitioner that I had already had it done and they were fine about it. I was able to email all the results to my GP and they were happy with that.

I totally understand your concerns about arranging the timing of your scan but if you still have all the signs of a menstruating woman then surely a thickened lining would be expected and not ring alarm bells.

I hope you get this sorted soon and find some peace of mind. There will always be women who fall outside the average and that shouldn't feel like a problem, medical or otherwise.

Wishing you well and sending more hugs.

K.

Thank you Kathleen, you're so kind x