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Author Topic: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!  (Read 2078 times)

MrsMitch

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #15 on: August 21, 2025, 03:00:25 PM »

I do wonder, as we all do on here, if any of these professionals have much idea about anything.
I've mentioned before,  but for Clovie's benefit, my gynae told me 'women always go through menopause at a younger age than their mothers '. That is absolutely incorrect. There is zero evidence for that.
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Clovie

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #16 on: August 21, 2025, 07:51:49 PM »

I do wonder, as we all do on here, if any of these professionals have much idea about anything.
I've mentioned before,  but for Clovie's benefit, my gynae told me 'women always go through menopause at a younger age than their mothers '. That is absolutely incorrect. There is zero evidence for that.

That's just outrageous. How would that possibly work down the generations?
How could that gynae, an obviously learned professional, have not considered the basic maths of this even :o
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sheila99

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #17 on: August 21, 2025, 09:15:20 PM »

I wonder what he tells those younger women who can't get hrt because they're 'too young for menopause'. Anyone outside 'normal' meno age gets poor service.
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bombsh3ll

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #18 on: August 21, 2025, 10:52:37 PM »

I actually think there is a grain of truth in what he is meaning - the average age of menopause has gotten younger over the generations, there are suggestions it used to be around 57 in Victorian times.

Back then only the fittest, healthiest women with really good genes and the best access to resources lived that long without modern technology and hygiene practices.

I think these late menopausing women probably account for many of the stories that "well my great grandmother lived to 102 without any HRT"

Now, women are surviving to or beyond their 50's in large numbers, including those with crappy genes, multiple medical problems and those who have lived a traumatic and abusive life, so when you average it out for all-comers, the age of menopause has fallen.

It is not as direct as comparing an individual mother to her daughter however women also now live much more stressful lives, have fewer children without prolonged breastfeeding and our environment is getting more polluted and unsafe, all of which may negatively influence ovarian reserve.

Yet some women will still be considerably later who would not have been outliers 150 years ago but are today, not through any pathology but because the average has shifted.
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Fuzzwhizzer

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #19 on: August 22, 2025, 07:46:21 AM »

I had no periods for eight months, am 56 no hrt, then two in July and a month later now one just started Wednesday 20th August. Went to doc last week on Monday he was concerned had U/S on Friday 15th August, same week. Lining 9mm, and a simple cyst my right ovary. Now being referred for Gynae visit prob under two week rule, although not had appt through yet. I still felt ‘booby soreness’ so hoping I’ m just still in Peru, as never ever been 12 months without a period, only 8 max. Us later ladies sure have to do some stuff eh! I’m hoping this weeks period has thinned lining but who knows.
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Fuzzwhizzer

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2025, 07:47:33 AM »

Ha ha Peru! Marmalade sandwich anyone. PERI silly predictive text phone.
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Clovie

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2025, 08:56:44 AM »

I had no periods for eight months, am 56 no hrt, then two in July and a month later now one just started Wednesday 20th August. Went to doc last week on Monday he was concerned had U/S on Friday 15th August, same week. Lining 9mm, and a simple cyst my right ovary. Now being referred for Gynae visit prob under two week rule, although not had appt through yet. I still felt ‘booby soreness’ so hoping I’ m just still in Peru, as never ever been 12 months without a period, only 8 max. Us later ladies sure have to do some stuff eh! I’m hoping this weeks period has thinned lining but who knows.

LOL, that did make me chuckle, in PERU (I wish I was in bloomin' Peru right now I can tell you, or anywhere come to think of it  ;D ;D)

Are they going to scan you again at the gynae appt then Fuzzwhizzer?
I'm really pleased for you that they are checking you out, as that is what you wanted, going to the doctor about your period coming after an 8 month gap, but I don't understand it myself?  You are (to me anyway but I'm NOT a doctor of course) still peri as you'd not gone a year without a period? 
You have to be a year without a period to be menopausal. I can't see why your Dr was concerned?  Some ladies start again at 10/11 months. Maybe just because you are a bit over the magic textbook date for menopause? Arghhhhh.
Your lining would be at its thickest before your period and like you say if you've just had a period it will be at its thinnest.

I'm happy for you that you're being checked out and am thinking you will be very very likely be absolutely fine.

For me, having scans is an absolute ordeal, or any medical intervention in fact, sends me to a very dark place, always has done.... I wish I was different, more rational. But it's the way I'm wired up.
My husband is the voice of reason and he normally rationalises things for me but we had a row last night because he kept saying 'you're fine, no red flags, regular defined bleeds, nothings changed in that respect since your womb was tickety-boo 2 years back and you still get PMT etc before hand etc etc...'   
He was just trying to put my mind at rest a little but I yelled at him to say if I was FINE I wouldn't be being sent for a scan and you can't see what's going on inside can you!!!?!!!   

I hate this. I would have my womb dragged out in a heartbeat at this stage...  ???

« Last Edit: August 22, 2025, 09:10:11 AM by Clovie »
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Fuzzwhizzer

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2025, 09:26:03 AM »

Oh Gosh I know what you mean it can send already aggravated tension into overdrive, I’ve been yakking my husbands ear off for months and he’s always like yours, so down to earth and rational. Sometimes he tries humour though. Occasionally it works and sometimes it can make me worse. I mentioned hysterectomy possibility in some cases the other day and he said eughhhhhhhhh!!!! I snapped ‘that’s making me feel worse!’ Ha ha yes I’m glad I’m getting looked at but it still always makes you feel queasy every time. I hope you get sorted very very soon in a way that is ok for you xx
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Clovie

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #23 on: August 27, 2025, 11:07:23 AM »

A week on and I feel no better mentally about this matter - I am in a real state still. Reading reading reading non-stop - one minute feel reassured that nothing can be THAT bad given just over 2 years ago my scan was absolutely 1.00% fine - to reading something which sends me back into a black spiral.

My husband wants to write to GP and practice manager to complain that I wasn't even phoned or anything before I received, out of the blue and appt for scan for PMB.  They SAY they tried to call and left a voicemail but call logs show nothing.
He wants to complain about how Ive been treated, as a neurotic woman not believed about having periods still.

Its making me doubt myself now!  :-\  Ive never missed more than 2 periods in all my years though, none recently. My bleeding is predictable, regular, starts low builds and tails off and I get PMT before them. I don't get random pain, no spotting between, no blood after sex etc .COULD they not be periods? For god's sake I am going insane.

I already don't have a good relationship, well, I mean friendly, supportive one , with my GP, it is her who 2 years ago TOLd me I must have womb cancer because Im still bleeding at my age (was 59) TOLD me thast, didn't say 'let's rule out any nasties' etc, and I've not felt validated since despite scan back then showing all was well at the time.

Can I ask to be scanned again after I've had one of my PHANTOM DELUSIONAL periods  :'( :'( :'( before I get sent for invasive tests, if my lining shows thicker than should be?








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Katherine

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #24 on: August 28, 2025, 03:50:08 PM »

Hi Clovie,

I'm no expert on all of this but I can tell you that my mother had periods until she was 59, she never had any HRT (because she didn't have any menopause symptoms) so although unusual it is possible to have normal regular periods at that age. I have had similar experiences where health professionals saw things completely differently to me and I felt not listened to and personally I deal with this by reminding myself that I know my body best, it's my mind and body, and I know the truth and what is best for me. I find that different health professionals can have completely different opinions about an issue, diagnose it differently and will have different treatment recommendations. I would try and find a GP who you like and trust. It makes a big difference. Whenever I join a new surgery I wait until I've seen a GP I like then stick with them if I can. I hope that this helps and keep us informed of how you are getting on xx
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Jules

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #25 on: August 28, 2025, 04:26:54 PM »

I can't say what age, but I know my mother had periods way beyond the age you'd expect her to. I don't recall her doctors claiming it was abnormal though they were heavy by that stage. My experience of complaining to my GP practice is poor, they always cover their backs and never admit fault ( I think that's standard for legal reasons), they just acknowledge my feelings.. I'd try a different GP surgery because it's s terrible how you've been treated. With regards to your scan, I was refused my localised estrogen when waiting for mine. I was desperate and also extremely anxious so I know how you must feel. I would use that scan as an evidence gathering exercise, ask for a copy of the letter with conclusion if I were you then show anybody who disputes your periods in the future
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Clovie

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #26 on: August 28, 2025, 05:25:16 PM »

Hi Clovie,

I'm no expert on all of this but I can tell you that my mother had periods until she was 59, she never had any HRT (because she didn't have any menopause symptoms) so although unusual it is possible to have normal regular periods at that age. I have had similar experiences where health professionals saw things completely differently to me and I felt not listened to and personally I deal with this by reminding myself that I know my body best, it's my mind and body, and I know the truth and what is best for me. I find that different health professionals can have completely different opinions about an issue, diagnose it differently and will have different treatment recommendations. I would try and find a GP who you like and trust. It makes a big difference. Whenever I join a new surgery I wait until I've seen a GP I like then stick with them if I can. I hope that this helps and keep us informed of how you are getting on xx

Thank you, your post has helped me.   :)
There are no GPs at the surgery who are, I would say, 'nice'. I have had some really lovely GPs in other surgeries before we moved here.
By nice I mean that are kind and listen and who I feel treat you as a person rather than a number, (I def feel like that at this surgery).
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Clovie

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #27 on: August 28, 2025, 05:30:00 PM »

I can't say what age, but I know my mother had periods way beyond the age you'd expect her to. I don't recall her doctors claiming it was abnormal though they were heavy by that stage. My experience of complaining to my GP practice is poor, they always cover their backs and never admit fault ( I think that's standard for legal reasons), they just acknowledge my feelings.. I'd try a different GP surgery because it's s terrible how you've been treated. With regards to your scan, I was refused my localised estrogen when waiting for mine. I was desperate and also extremely anxious so I know how you must feel. I would use that scan as an evidence gathering exercise, ask for a copy of the letter with conclusion if I were you then show anybody who disputes your periods in the future

Thank you Jules. your post really helped me.
I've been very PMT-y the last couple of days which has NOT helped, what a time for that to rear it's head eh. I hope to feel calmer soon now that my period has started.
 
I would change surgeries but am not sure how to/if I can. I feel like the relationship has broken down and I'll forever be seen as an unhinged woman or a moaner. I'm not. Believe me I stay away from Drs whenever at all possible, I only went in for my appt as it was a HRT review and I HAD to go to get my HRT or it would have been stopped.

Thanks again, really appreciate your reply.  :)
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Jules

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #28 on: August 28, 2025, 05:36:44 PM »

It's your body. Just state your needs firmly. As long as you're reasonable and polite, there should be no judgement of you.
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Clovie

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Re: Help please PLEASE! I am absolutely terrified - again!
« Reply #29 on: August 28, 2025, 06:12:08 PM »

It's your body. Just state your needs firmly. As long as you're reasonable and polite, there should be no judgement of you.

Thanks again, :) Yes, I'm always polite, but I do get upset, due to my long standing health anxiety, which is why I tend to write things out to hand to Drs  and have my husband with me as I know that I often can get quite upset.

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