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Menopause Matters magazine ISSUE 81 out now. (Autumn issue, September 2025)

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Author Topic: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2  (Read 12025 times)

Lclegg002

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #60 on: March 22, 2025, 03:23:00 PM »

I have to agree with Gnatty, I too am on mirtazapine which my doctor started me on 2 years ago when I had such severe insomnia I was so mentally unwell. I too believe it saved my life as I could not have lived so sleep deprived for much longer.  I’m on 7.5mg but may look to increase to 15mg with my mood being so low as I haven’t found it to have any impact on my mood or anxiety at 7.5mg.  I’m also on sertraline which I have been on since I was 20. A doctor I saw did suggest trying venlafaxine but I’m scared to try this reading how awful it is when you start and try to come off. However, I need a life and if it gives me one then I will try anything as at the moment I’m just existing. The next day groggy side effect with the mirtazapine does wear off after about a week. X
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Gnatty

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #61 on: March 22, 2025, 03:53:10 PM »

Hi Crispy! I was put straight on to 15mg and stayed on it for about 12 months. I think it also enabled me to find the right dose of oestrogen, and once this was sorted and I felt well enough I was able to come off them without any problems as I recall. I remember the joy of sleeping through and getting my appetite back. Within 24 hours! Previous to trying them I had restarted the sertraline which had served me so well four years previously and it was like poison.  I certainly didn't make and wouldn't have made 12 weeks like you did...I was honestly within a gnats fart of asking to be sectioned.... If you'll excuse my terminology!
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CrispyChick

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #62 on: March 22, 2025, 04:55:03 PM »

Oh. Great.

Thanks ladies. Both very reassuring replies.

It's only day 1. I've just had a nap. Definitely not out of the woods yet. I have extreme sensitivity to everything I touch. I can't even take a utrogestan without severe stomach pain. And by day 4 I'm comotosed. There are so many weird symptoms I have that could kick off with this trial.

So jury is very much out on mirtazapine for me. But I feel good that I've at least made a start and tried it. Ive had it for weeks, but was too scared to try.

Gnatty - how long until you saw benefits for anxiety and mood?

Unfortunately I should never have stayed (been allowed to stay??) on my increased escitalopram for 12 weeks. It's why I ended up under a crisis team. But it's behind me now. But it's also the reason I've been too scared to try mirtazapine .

LClegg - venalfexine was the next one suggested to me. But I'm not interested. That's why I pushed for the pregabalin. If you have anxiety, it'd definitely be worth re asking. It was ladies on this forum put me onto it.  ;)
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Lclegg002

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #63 on: March 31, 2025, 03:10:37 PM »

So had my bloods done last week and Estrogen has come back at 82pmol which doctor advised is very low. I’m wondering if this is because of the Slynd pill I’m on. I guess it would explain why I’ve felt excruciating fatigue and very depressed mood for the past couple of weeks. Have no idea where to go from here though as tried Estrogen so many times and just can’t find the right dose but equally barely functioning at the moment and had some really dark thoughts last week. Crispychick, can I ask how you felt in chemical menopause please? I’m wondering if I should go down this route myself to just switch off my cycle. I know, even on Slynd, I must still be cycling as have had high Estrogen symptoms too… it just feels like my body cannot tolerate the fluctuating. How have you been feeling? How are you doing on the mirtazapine so far? Xx
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CrispyChick

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #64 on: March 31, 2025, 03:35:21 PM »

 ::) truthfully, I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask. It wasn't right for me. But we think my body overreacts to changes - so cm is a massive change.

All I'll say is the first month your hormones surge - which, for me, caused awful anger. Then they depart. I felt a lag time between my hormones bottoming out and true menopausal symptoms hitting - which were extreme joint pain and massive hot flushes.

That said, most people go into it with add back HRT already in place. Perhaps that feels like a different game.  :o

Have you tried the milder estriol creams you can buy? Biovea / onas etc. As you're in slynd you don't need to worry about the prog side. Just a thought.

My body is most certainly in extreme fluctuation. My boobs hurt this month - I think my E is sky high. In yet last month I think it was low as I had a really long cycle. Both are hell.  :o

Erm mirtazapine. My trial is over! Not unexpected. I got to day 9 then had to jump. I had terrible sedation and zombie (no idea how u can take 7.5mg) but I was continuing with that, then on day 9 I started to get really dizzy. And I just can't do dizzy. I already have a neurological diagnosis of PPPD (constant dizziness) I can't add more dizziness. So that's off the cards. I'm slowly coming down. 7.5mg was more sedating for me than 15mg. Even 3.65mg last night caused sedation. Crazy!!!

It's not for me. It's disappointing as it was helping my mood, appetite and hot sweats already!!! Definitely worth you increasing to help your mood. If you tolerate 7.5mg, you'll be grand on 15mg. X
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Lclegg002

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #65 on: March 31, 2025, 03:46:36 PM »

Oh that’s really disappointing, you just want/need a break don’t you? Something to work just for once. I don’t find the mirtazapine sedating anymore if im honest, I think eventually your body just adapts but im worried now to come off it and get no sleep like before and maybe it is doing something. I really think my low mood is the low estrogen or fluctuating so reluctant to up just yet and then have to try and get off it at some point as I’m also on sertraline so not ideal. I get the not wanting to feel dizzy, I had full blown vertigo a couple of times when this all started but now mine is an off balance feeling/swaying which makes me really anxious!
I’ve tried Biovea progesterone cream and have looked at the Estrogen ones but I just think until the fluctuations calm down nothing will help.
Yep massive swollen boobs is a tell tale sign for me when Estrogen high. .. hurts to take bra off. I had that a couple of months ago so def fluctuating still even on Slynd.
I’m truly gobsmacked how some women go through all this without any symptoms… I just cannot get my head round it. It has ruined my life. I just obsess daily about how I feel now, what symptoms I have, what they mean and it’s just utter shite. Xx
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CrispyChick

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #66 on: March 31, 2025, 03:55:58 PM »

You sound exactly like me!!!

I obsess constantly. Which I know isn't healthy or good for me. So I try AD to help escape my rumination -more symptoms. It's just hell.

Yip. I've got really bad woozy, swaying today. My ears are sore with it. I'm spinny. Horrid. But I couldn't take any more dizziness. It just felt like bad side affects over and above the severe sedation. Too much for me.

I don't often get sore boobs. So my E must be dancing very high. Right enough, I was flushing constantly last month. Nadda this month.

And the obvious meno symptoms - flushing and sore boobs dont bother me - it's the rest of the hell. I just feel so ill. 24/7.  :(

I'm the same. I can't comprehend how some Roman feel very little. But my own sister is one of them. Although she bypassed most of this peri stuff on a combined pill.

If you want to chat more about chem meno, I'm happy to. I'm just not sure I'm the best person to ask.  ;)
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Lclegg002

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #67 on: March 31, 2025, 04:49:44 PM »

Thank you, i appreciate that…. I’m going to give cm some serious thought and may book a consultation with a gynaecologist at our local private hospital and ask their opinion ..I just feel like I’ve spent so much on private appts with meno specialists and no better. I think it’s fine if you fit the stereotypical give HRT and it solves all or most issues but they don’t have the answers for people like us. One doctor said I needed to just ride it..: yeh, perhaps be in my shoes for a few days and then tell me how you feel about ‘just riding it’! 😡
It’s funny you say about your sister because I went to doctors in my late 30s to ask to go on the combined pill because I was starting to feel hormonal and not quite right and they wouldn’t let me because I was over 35 yet I have a friend of 52 sailing through with just a few night sweats and she’s still on combined pill.  I really think had the doctor let me I would have skipped all this shit as I felt great on the pill before I had kids. Perhaps they should also look at the risks of not allowing women on the combined pill as id happily take my chances over the suicidal thoughts, severe anxiety and debilitating fatigue that I have been having over the past 2.5 years! X
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CrispyChick

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #68 on: March 31, 2025, 05:05:46 PM »

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was advised by the meno clinic - in my 40s - to try the combined pill. Try them all.

And try them all I did. But every single one brought side affects that I never used to get - mostly migraines. But the moods on some were horrific.

So, unfortunately, it wasn't my panacea.  :(

So now I'm stuck in a void of no hormonal help, when I've got symptoms most woman in peri could never imagine, never mind experience.  >:(

I was told by a bhrt clinic, after many failed attempts at hormonal treatment 'it'll end eventually '. Wonderful.

So, when I went to gynae. I paid. But already had my GP on board for chem meno. So I had a referral. So the decision to have cm was then pretty quick. If that helps? X
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dangermouse

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #69 on: April 02, 2025, 11:15:23 AM »

My GP 10 years ago recommended the combined pill for perimenopause as she said that HRT was not strong enough to override peri volatility. It worked for a few weeks but the very high surges broke through.

I have been using CHAT GPT and found the medical advice, and the way it remembers all of your history, better than any real life medical experiences. One thing it threw up was that I was sensitive to any blood flow changes, hence why vasodilators (most herbs, magnesium, oestrogen fall under this), which causes me the nausea and dizziness.

It also explained that progesterone-only HRT initially stimulates the circulating oestrogen causing good effects but after a few days (depending on where you are in menopause) the P will dominate and cause low oestrogen symptoms which does make sense when I’ve had blood tests that’s show E to be very low. In early peri (before wild fluctuations) you can be in an oestrogen dominant state instead, so the progesterone-only makes you feel worse for a few days as it stimulates oestrogen further but then better as it rebalances the high oestrogen. (Please note that the ‘dominance’ word, derived from how they would measure combined pills, is important as they offset each other and it’s all about achieving balance between the two).

It explained that as I am sensitive to the blood flow changes, oestrogen HRT would still make me feel worse but that micro-dosing could help to gradually allow it in - it suggested 10mg of progesterone and a cocktail stick tiny smidge of oestrogel, which you gradually raise over months and months, as an option.

It also suggested that my new pro-metabolic diet could equally provide complete hormone balance without needing exogenous hormones - or it said I could try both.

I was going to do the micro-dosing this week but have already started to feel better from the diet. I am now able to tolerate milk, for the first time in 15 years, and I am already feeling some hormonal stability and more energy, where I have been dragging myself around for the last 10 years! So am going to leave off the micro-dosing for now.

What I have also learnt, which may help you Crispy, is that hormones do not just return to normal after having taken or restricted them. They take at least a 30 day cycle to start to settle and rebalance themselves, and I suspect 3-6 months to properly complete this.

Also, any emergency body function systems that the brain turns to, such as using stress hormones to produce energy after prolonged fasting or low nutrition, also need to have a prolonged period of re-feeding to recognise that food is available. It can then turn off those emergency systems and switch back to the ones that need sugar to function. This will then gradually improve energy levels, concentration, sleep, digestion, mood etc as the emergency states are to keep you alive at the cost of these.

Sometimes just stopping everything and letting the body come to a balance all by itself, albeit with adequate nutrition, can be the most powerful thing that we can do.
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Honeybee2

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #70 on: April 02, 2025, 02:44:06 PM »

Just want to jump in … I hear you . I have been to hell and back with extreme symptoms started when I was about 50 and couldn’t sleep felt agitated in my head fast heartbeat night sweats ect ect  and couldn’t  function countless tests and countless trips to A&E I  really thought I was going to die absolutely horrendous
Went on hrt at about 51 and it settled me down and been on  75mg evorel and daily utrogestran gradually increasing to this dose for about 3 years
But then these last couple of months 3 years later I have been in a complete mess again  can’t work feel so dizzy and as I have read  on this feed I also feel  poisoned  like adrenaline rushes
 . I went to drs yesterday  and blood pressure is high they put me on tablets and upped my mertazapine  which  I have been on for a couple of years after losing my mum  also dr gave me a beta blocker to calm my fast heartbeat started them today All these tablets I feel drugged up …. But pulse rate today is normal and blood pressure is down
I think I have gone crazy with all of this  and sent my family crazy with me especially my lovely husband  it’s been awful keep asking my husband for reassurance he must be getting fed up with me I am like a broken record keep asking I will be ok won’t I what if it’s this and that . I am sure others can relate
I am really worried that there is something seriously wrong with me I couldn’t stop shaking and have zero appetite and crying all the time with very low mood  so saw Dr yesterday as  .I really  needed help
I am sitting here crying again thinking I will never feel better and health anxiety is really ramped up . I feel so done with it all I am basically housebound as feel so weird when I try and do anything and desperate to get back to work and feeling normal .
It seems I am not alone and like others don’t know anyone who is as extreme as me I keep thinking the worst
I have had a blood test today to check oestridiol to see what level I am as hoping it’s low oestrogen and upping my dose will help me
Sending everyone suffering a massive hug
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rferdi

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #71 on: April 06, 2025, 10:01:33 PM »

Just want to jump in … I hear you . I have been to hell and back with extreme symptoms started when I was about 50 and couldn’t sleep felt agitated in my head fast heartbeat night sweats ect ect  and couldn’t  function countless tests and countless trips to A&E I  really thought I was going to die absolutely horrendous
Went on hrt at about 51 and it settled me down and been on  75mg evorel and daily utrogestran gradually increasing to this dose for about 3 years
But then these last couple of months 3 years later I have been in a complete mess again  can’t work feel so dizzy and as I have read  on this feed I also feel  poisoned  like adrenaline rushes
 . I went to drs yesterday  and blood pressure is high they put me on tablets and upped my mertazapine  which  I have been on for a couple of years after losing my mum  also dr gave me a beta blocker to calm my fast heartbeat started them today All these tablets I feel drugged up …. But pulse rate today is normal and blood pressure is down
I think I have gone crazy with all of this  and sent my family crazy with me especially my lovely husband  it’s been awful keep asking my husband for reassurance he must be getting fed up with me I am like a broken record keep asking I will be ok won’t I what if it’s this and that . I am sure others can relate
I am really worried that there is something seriously wrong with me I couldn’t stop shaking and have zero appetite and crying all the time with very low mood  so saw Dr yesterday as  .I really  needed help
I am sitting here crying again thinking I will never feel better and health anxiety is really ramped up . I feel so done with it all I am basically housebound as feel so weird when I try and do anything and desperate to get back to work and feeling normal .
It seems I am not alone and like others don’t know anyone who is as extreme as me I keep thinking the worst
I have had a blood test today to check oestridiol to see what level I am as hoping it’s low oestrogen and upping my dose will help me
Sending everyone suffering a massive hug
Just want to send you a massive hug back, remember you're not alone in this, you already know it but still it can feel so lonely sometimes. I myself have been struggling quite a bit lately since I increased to 3 sprays of Lenzetto, I don't understand why, it seemed to work great at first... I sometimes don't know what to do anymore and I lose my patience with all of this. My husband's also an angel, so very patient and loving, I really don't know what I'd do without all his support. In every way, because I'm unable to work regularly due to this (self-employed), I'm mostly off sick, and so my income has decreased very significantly. I also don't know anyone in person who's suffering like this, all my friends and other women I know around my age have very few symptoms apparently, most of them mainly hot flushes, one symptom I've never even had (thankfully).
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CrispyChick

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #72 on: April 07, 2025, 08:05:32 AM »

Yes honeybee. You ate not alone.

I'm so sorry you're suffering too. It's so so horrid. I understand. I hear you.

I've lived in this hell for 7 years. It's now worse than ever as I approach 49. I've just had a month of low estrogen - causing my longest cycle ever. It was horrific. Had loads of hot flushes - but they're the least of my worries. Then this cycle has clearly been exceptionally high estrogen as my boobs hurt like crazy. And I feel so so ill.

I seem to feel every single twist and turn of my hormones. With them now surging very high and very low I feel like I am dying.

I feel there is no way out. But I'll keep trying. I took have a very supportive husband and I have two amazing teens who cause me no problems. But I'd love to interact with them like a normal mum. But I just feel so very very ill. It's breaking me.  :(

I started this thread as I find it reassuring to hear from others in a similar position. We do need to support each other. Xx
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Peach8

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #73 on: April 10, 2025, 06:59:53 PM »

Hi Crispy. Just came to say that I have fibromyalgia which got significantly worse when peri hit. I went from being able to tolerate my symptoms to being in constant pain, feeling like I was wading through mud, constantly exhausted, feeling of flu like symptoms, throw in the lack of sleep, the palpations, tremors and anxiety for good measure and I was not loving life. I start E and P at the first sign of peri which sorted out the itchy skin and the uti's but did nothing for the pain, after countless attempts to get testosterone from NHS, I eventually went private and it made a big difference. Unfortunately, as time has past, my pain had got intolerable again. I tried gabapentin but I got side effects but no benefits. I've recently tried new pain Meds which is also an AD. The first week was rough, I was spaced out, dizzy and nauseous but I was desperate so I persevered. I'm 6 weeks in now, some side effects are still there but they are out weighed by the benefits. I don't feel like I'm 25 again but I'm definitely much better than I was and desperately hoping it stays that way. I know that doesn't solve any of your problems but I just wanted to make the point that peri had a huge impact on a preexisting condition so possibly there is more than one thing causing your issues. It's taken me 6 years to get to this point. I hope you find some answers soon, you will get there xx
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CrispyChick

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Re: Can perimenopause really make me this ill? Take 2
« Reply #74 on: April 15, 2025, 10:58:46 AM »

OMG as I move further into peri (nearly 49) still month periods, but erratic now - my level of feeling like I am 'dying' is just getting worse and worse.

My mood is doing okay since I stopped the increased antidepressants they are so keen to put me on. But I feel so physically ill that I regularly feel I don't wavy to live. I don't want to end it. But how long am I realistically going to have to live feeling this ill. Feeling like I am dying. Not functioning at all.  :(

Thank you Peach8 for your comments. Im so glad you are finally getting 'some' relief.

I am honestly at a loss as to whether mine is all hormones, or if something else is at play. It just all started at the same time.  :'(

I've just got a period and the swing from some symptoms to others is crucifying. I'm struggling so so much. Physically. Noone understands how ill I feel on a daily basis. .

It is pure hell.
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