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Author Topic: Scared  (Read 1425 times)

Gillydlf

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Scared
« on: January 29, 2025, 09:29:44 PM »

I’m having a stressful time atm, my daughter has recently had a baby a decision she made to do on her own. My granddaughter is beautiful & I see her daily & help as much as I can. I haven’t had an evening off since last October & don’t see any end to helping her. I’m 63 fairly fit but yesterday I drove to our local farm shop & due to road works on my usual route I decided to go the back road home, it’s a route I know really well
& one of the roads is a dead end & in my head I suddenly thought I couldn’t get home that way so turned the car round & went another way home, when I got back I told my daughter & she said why didn’t you go the way we always go! I laughed at the time but then in the early hours of the morning I started to think about why I suddenly forgot a route I’ve used many times, I’m so scared it’s a sign of dementia. I can’t stop thinking about it & feel I’m going to go crazy. Has anyone else had this happen to them? My husband thinks I was just pre occupied with other things & not to worry about it!
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Gillydlf

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Re: Scared
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2025, 10:59:29 PM »

How do I remove this post please? I’ve posted in the wrong section
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Dierdre

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Re: Scared
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2025, 11:43:34 PM »

It sounds like you've got an awful lot on your mind at the moment and it's normal to loose concentration when in this situation. I wouldn't worry about it at all.
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Gillydlf

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Re: Scared
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2025, 08:44:32 AM »

Thank you for replying. Just one person telling me that is all I needed to hear. 🙏
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CLKD

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Re: Scared
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2025, 09:20:44 AM »

Morning.  I agree, U have a lot on your mind!   I found that making lists helped: the evening B4 I would jot down the essentials for the following day so that I could see what I had achieved. 

Make sure that your daughter is getting all the various financial supports and that she joins baby/toddler groups so that U can step back and get your own routine. 

Sorting out when you are expected to babysit etc. is important at this time.  Be a GrandMum so that U can enjoy her without being pressured.  How much input has your husband had?
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flo69

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Re: Scared
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2025, 11:52:35 AM »

I was studying during my 40s, doing an OU degree and after my mid forties the difference was stark. I couldn't concentrate and didn't know it could be a symptom of menopause at the time so I was absolutely convinced I was getting dementia. The next couple of years were a race against time to get my degree finished before I lost my competence to think and remember. I was too scared to mention it to anyone.

Now I'm 55 and I've known for a lot of years now that I'm fine. Nothing wrong with me at all. I feel changed for sure, but I don't feel less than I was before, I feel I've gained something by being in this new stage.

And I got a First in my degree   8)
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CLKD

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Re: Scared
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2025, 12:17:11 PM »

 :thankyou:   flo69 and  :medal:

We have thick socks to keep feet warm: mine are suitable for wellies, DH wears his every day.  This week we couldn't find 5 pairs  :o.  The last place I looked, this morning, in one of my drawers: I had put them away neat and tidy not even chucked in randomly.  I have no recollection of sorting and tidying his socks into my drawers  :-\
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Ms_london76

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Re: Scared
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2025, 01:05:51 PM »

My mom was in the hospital and i left the stove on.
Or i slept with my contacts on during stressful family fighting etc etc

Very normal when under stress.
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MrsMitch

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Re: Scared
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2025, 04:34:18 PM »

Try not to worry, it's probably more common than you think. I still fret about the fact that when my husband and I first got together,  over 25 years ago, we were looking fir a place to live and it was quite stressful with lots going on. We sat down to talk through all the places we'd looked at and he started talking about one that I had absolutely no recollection of viewing. Never was able to remember it at all, still can't!
A while ago, my husband was tying down his loaded trailer with a rope and no matter what he did, he couldn't remember how to tie his 'lorry drivers knot'. He spent about half an hour trying and gave up, just tying it the best he could. He's been tying that kind of knot a few times a week since his dad taught him when he was 8. He drove home, unloaded and the tied it straight away.
Things like that happen to us all at times. I'm sure you're perfectly fine.
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Mary G

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Re: Scared
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2025, 05:35:00 PM »

You are probably very tired.  I'm also 63 and literally can't function unless I get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  When you get past 40, sleep becomes more important and lack of it can cause all sorts of problems.

You probably went into some kind of autopilot because you were feeling tired and stressed and thinking about something else.  You say you haven't had an evening off since October, is that because you are working or are you looking after your grandchild every evening? 

This isn't really my area because I chose not to have children but I couldn't look after a child for long spells without being completely knackered.

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CLKD

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Re: Scared
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2025, 07:50:33 PM »

Likewise.  The noise levels for starters  ::)

It is important to sort out child care early to prevent resentment building over the years as U age and the child needs more taking places/care/school take and pick up .........
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Gillydlf

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Re: Scared
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2025, 08:50:41 PM »

Thank you for all your replies. I am feeling so much calmer now I realise it’s fairly common.
I’m retired but go each evening to help bathe my grand daughter & walk my daughter’s dog, she did say tonight as soon as it gets lighter she’ll walk him herself with the baby so that will be easier.
My husband also helps most evenings.
We are going to gradually cut back with helping out so hopefully I’ll start feeling more relaxed once we do.
Thank you all again😀
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