Hi JS79,
Sorry to hear you are suffering. I can completely relate to your situation. Back in 2021 (in Covid) I had several external stressors going on at the same time as wildly fluctuating hormones and the wrong dosage of HRT.
I was the only "bubble"/carer for my Mother who had been diagnosed with Alzheimers and living alone at home, my F-I-L was in palliative care for prostate cancer and then my husband was under investigation for a suspicious finding in his bowel which apppeared in an MRI for a totally unrelated investigation which totally came out of the blue. Plus we were approaching the madness of Christmas. I was so internally stressed trying to remain calm and supportive for everyone I thought I would combust at any moment. This is when my anxiety and palpitations literally went off the scale and I had my first ever panic attack in a shop and thought I was about to die (sounds dramatic but true). I'm normally pretty good at managing this type of stuff but the raging hormones tipped me over the edge. I felt trapped as I felt I couldn't "get out" of my postion as a carer and let people down. I think caring is a natural response for most women.
I don't really have a simple solution to your situation other than to say the ladies above have some very good advice. I haven't (so far) taken any anxiety meds but I would definitely consider that to get you through this phase, I think it would have helped me. Also for me my gel was too high and once I had gradually got down to 2 pumps these symptoms greatly reduced (even if other, more tolerable

symptoms appeared). Finally the most obvious suggestion (but very difficult to do) is to really try to look after yourself and not give yourself a hard time.
Someone once used the analogy that we are like life rafts, helping others to stay afloat, but if you have too many people on the life raft, you all go down and that is no good for anyone. I think this is very true and has stuck with me.
Things will calm down for you, although it may not feel like it at the moment. Take one day at a time and look after YOU X