Hello beautiful ladies!
The forum has been a comfort to me many times and I am grateful to be able to contact you and ask you for your opinion, suggestions and experiences.
I apologize for the grammar mistakes as I am from Germany and English is my second language. I also apologize for the long post.
I am 49 years old, I have a wonderful family and I can say that there is absolutely no situation in my life that could make me feel as bad as I have been feeling for the last 6 months.
I am in perimenopause, my periods are every 22 days, they are very short and light. I live a very healthy life, I don't have any diseases, I run regularly 5 times a week. I take no medication.
2 years ago I noticed changes, I knew that one day menopause would hit me too, but I was in no way prepared for what is happening to me now.
First I noticed changes in my periods, sometimes they were late, sometimes I had 2 per month.
Before that I never had any problems during my periods, no PMS, no nervousness. I gave birth twice without problems, I never had mental problems.
So, I experienced night sweats a couple of times a month, sometimes I had a sleepless night, but it was not that bad. Then came the tinnitus, a ringing in the head not so much in the ears. I took natural supplements and vitamins.
But then it hit me like a bolt out of the blue. Terrible night sweats started, regularly waking me up at 2am and lasting for 10 minutes until morning . This continued week after week. After 4 weeks I was so anxious that I couldn't even leave the house…and depression came.
I went to my gynecologist and explained to her that I was probably going through menopause. I barely convinced her to check the blood, the results showed very low estrogen, almost no progesterone and FSH 75. I asked her for HRT, but she dismissed me with the explanation that one ovary is still working and that I still have regular periods.
I was very hurt and disappointed. After a week my condition got so bad that I couldn't get out of bed.I went back and was prescribed HRT, lanzetto spray 2 pumps and utrogestan 200mg for 14 days.
Unfortunately, after 1 month of this therapy, my condition did not improve, got even worse although estrogen and progesterone levels rose to normal. I had really bad side effects.
I found that after the lanzetto spray I was very anxious all day, could not function at all and the utrogestan made me depressed. I tried it orally and vaginally and there was no difference: vertigo, nausea and depression. I helped myself with the experiences from this forum.
Then I tried trisequence pills, which made me completely suicidal….I was really thinking about suicide, so I stopped HRT completely and went to GP and asked for an antidepressant, because I wasn't sleeping at all. Was prescribed mirtazapine 15mg at the beginning, then 30mg after 2 weeks.
After 4 weeks relief finally came. I no longer had night sweats, I slept through the night. Then after 4 weeks in mood swings started to appear in relation to the menstrual cycle. I was ok for 2 weeks, and for 2 weeks I was completely down: depressed and anxious.
I am currently taking 30mg mirtazapine for 11 weeks and my sleep is normal and I have no night sweats. But the moment I wake up in the morning, I am immediately taken over by anxiety that lasts the whole day. This has been happening for the 9 days now and I'm desperate, feeling so low and very sad!
I'm afraid of HRT because unfortunately I had a bad experience and I honestly won't be able to try a new HRT because it takes 3 months to see the effects and I won't be able to handle all the side effects. In addition, I recently paid for a blood test at a private clinic and my estrogen and progesterone levels are normal now. Testosterone is in normal range too.
So I'm afraid the fluctuation of my hormones and HRT together will cause me even more problems.
My intention was to cross the bridge to menopause with the help of AD and then try HRT when the hormonal chaos calms down at least a little.
So within 3 months my life was completely destroyed. I'm not able to work and I can't do sports either, which I loved very much.
I don't know what to do, should I increase the dose of the antidepressant or switch to another one? Should I wait a little longer? I can't handle these side effects either, because I'm tired of everything. I have an appointment with my GP next week.
Please give me some advice or reassurance that things will get better one day. I am desperate.
Thank you