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[Sb1974]

Hi everybody,

I am hoping that this brilliant community might be able to give me some help, advice and support. I am a 49-year-old single mother of 2 teenage boys and work full time. I started this whole peri-menopause journey 5 years ago with various symptoms which, to be honest were manageable. However, I have for the past 2 years I have been suffering from an increase in anxiety and a whole new experience for me depression. I have always had anxiety and have been on AD's since I was 17 - I have had lots of therapy and am able to manage the anxiety quite well. Its the depression that is really bothering me. I just feel so low and fed up - no enjoyment in life and I can't seem to think positively about the future. I have put on about 3 stone in weight and feel totally unattractive - so don't want to date and I just feel so lonely I am struggling to function on a daily basis and the weekends are a complete right off I just stay in bed. I have changed AD's and I am on HRT - 4 pumps and one pill a day - but it just does not seem to be helping at all. Can anybody give me some advice? Has anybody felt like this and come out the other side? I am dreading turning 50 and feel like my life is over.......... thank you. 

[CLKD]

Hi.  Life is certainly not over!  The Change - does what it says on the tin  .  Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use to chart progress including the better days!

   Anxiety levels can increase during peri probably due to fluctuating hormones. 

Which AD has been prescribed and how long have you been taking it?  Some can help with anxiety and depression but I would consider that each symptom should be treated in isolation.  4 me anxiety began at aged 3, depression not until I was in my 30s although I did have cynical crying 24 hours B4 a bleed began, even if a period wasn't due.

In recent years I've altered my diet.  What I could eat without problems from my early teens until I turned 50 no longer suited my gut.  Hidden sugars and fats made me feel very sluggish, i.e. croissants or a scone with butter when we were out and about.  Gradually we have cut out ultra processed foods, DH has always cooked from scratch other than fish and chips or pizzas when in a hurry. 

MayB keep a note of what you eat/drink for 3-5 days, 24/7.  Be honest ;-).  What do your teens like, do they cook ?  is it something that you could do together getting them on side to choose a weeks menus, shop together for the ingredients etc.. 

Which HRT regime R U using?

[Sb1974]

Hi CLKD,

Thank you so much for replying to my post. I am glad to hear that life it not over! Its just a very hard change to experience. I am on the AD Venlafaxine which I have been on for about 2 years before that it was Citalopram and before that Prozac so I have tried a few. The HRT I am on is the Estrogel gel and utrogestan pill. That is good advice about the food - I work in a boarding school so get lovely homecooked food at lunch time then we do cook from scratch at home - the boys are very good especially my youngest who is 16 - he loves to cook and tbh has had to as recently I just cannot face it. I am sorry you have faced anxiety and depression as well they are not a nice combination at all ! I like the idea of keeping a mood journal and will try that. I just wish I could get back to old me who was so full of life ! But maybe I will just have to accept those days have gone.

[CLKD]

The Change - acceptance can be hard but humans are adaptable!  Otherwise we wouldn't have survived ;-).

Think back to any hobbies that you have enjoyed, is there anything that you could reconsider getting interested in?  Good that the lads will cook, DH is my Chef  becasue his Dad taught him from aged 8.  Whereas my Mum wound't let me near the kitchen!  I can't even boil an egg, I can make a good round of toast though  .

Let us know how you get on.  Hopefully some1 using a similar HRT regime will be along to chat. 

Venlafaxine worked well for me, occasionally my brain poops out so I have to change what I am taking.  It doesn't happen often ....... I have escitalopram 5mg morning and 10mg at night, with an emergency as necessary anti-anxiety medication for when I'm floored.  Propranolol worked well to ease anxiety surges too for 10 years.  There is plenty of choice out there!  Bachs flower rescue remedy mouth spray can help too.

[Sb1974]

yes you are right - we are adaptable. You are very lucky to have a husband I am finding this whole process as a single person very hard indeed. I used to love getting out on the water on my paddle board but as I have put on so much weight i am worried I will sink the board!!!

I have to be honest I have felt no upside from taking Venlafaxine at all - and the Dr just seem to want to push more and more drugs. I am having therapy but that just seems to be stirring up the feelings of depression, but I am hopeful in the long run that will help. It would be nice to hear from others if their experience of my HRT has helped them.

[CLKD]

MayB the AD is keeping your mental health on an even keel so try not to look for big improvements.  If U are not getting side effects stick with it for now?

Paddle boarding scares me  I hate being wet ...... I learnt to swim aged 8.  Long B4 paddle boards were thought of.

R U afraid of facing those feelings during therapy?  I found it useful to vent, vent, vent.  Getting my anger out of my head and away ;-).

It is hard trying to cope alone ..... which is why being here may help.

[K45]

Hi Sb,

I can relate as had depression/anxiety in my 30s and now mid 40s found perimenopause really rebooted some old symptoms. Magnesium glycinate, D3 and turmeric along with HRT seem to be helping at the moment. The biggest thing that massively improves my mental health is getting in/on the water. Sea swimming and paddle boarding just clears the mind and helps destress. When I was having therapy I was told action precedes motivation so even though the last thing you might feel like is getting your sup out i challenge you to do it anyway and that love you had of being on the water will return.

Like yourself I tried several meds and have had therapy but I've found exercise especially in the sea is the best way to manage mental health.

yes you are right - we are adaptable. You are very lucky to have a husband I am finding this whole process as a single person very hard indeed. I used to love getting out on the water on my paddle board but as I have put on so much weight i am worried I will sink the board!!!

I have to be honest I have felt no upside from taking Venlafaxine at all - and the Dr just seem to want to push more and more drugs. I am having therapy but that just seems to be stirring up the feelings of depression, but I am hopeful in the long run that will help. It would be nice to hear from others if their experience of my HRT has helped them.

[Sb1974]

Dear K45

Thank you so much for your email and lovely to hear from a fellow sea lover!!!  I will take up that challenge and try to get out this weekend on my SUP - we have a river just near our house which is perfect for it. Interesting about D3 and Turmeric - I am already on the Magnesium glycinate - I will give them a try as well - at this point down for trying anything at all that might help.  Thank you again.

[Sb1974]

Dear CLKD

yes I thought going to therapy would make we feel better for getting those feelings out but seems to just make me sadder once of vocalise them ! I will keep plugging away though!

[K45]

No worries!  Heading out on the river this weekend sounds like a  good plan. Hope the glorious weather continues     

[CLKD]

Sb1974 - if you feel that you aren't benefitting from therapy now, mayB consider stopping - 1 can always begin later.  Do U get homework, I did  . 

Enjoy your time on the water Both!