Thanks all for your replies, much appreciated. I don't need to be told it's a rubbish cocktail, I'm well aware... it's come about through repeated bouts of severe hormonal insomnia over the last 5 years and because I can't get off any of them quickly - I have to taper down really slowly - so I get really low and then get another bout and go back to square one. Up until recently I was on very low doses of the Amitriptyline and Mirtazapine, it was only the Trazodone that was at a normal starting dose. But since this bout - which has been worse than I've ever known - I've been desperately trying to fix it and so have put up my Mirtazapine, but it's not seemed to work.
In terms of patches - I know I absorb more transdermally of all things than most and patches have a high variability of absorption between women, so I do think I was getting a notable amount from it... I certainly would feel it if I reduced or took it off (or increased it even slightly). But my Estrogen levels from the weekend's blood test don't really support that there is anything wrong or unusual there since taking it off. My Progesterone level did come back at unusually low, even for the follicular phase at <0.2 nmol.
I'm already way past the stage of becoming addicted to benzos, I've been taking the valium for over a year. Honestly, all that matters right now is that I find a way to get out of this crisis and I will deal with all the tapering and resetting of meds etc later - I've never known anxiety this bad, for this long. It's something very physical going on in my body and nothing to do with anxious thoughts. I've lost over half a stone in weight in just one week, because I literally can't eat or sleep.
@Bombshell, funnily enough I did try Zoely for 3 months right at the beginning of my peri journey. It didn't have enough estrogen in at the time for me to control my night sweats and 3am insomnia, but I seemed to be going through something quite specific then and maybe it could be worth another shot. A hormonal monorail sounds like absolute bliss. The only thing is I'm on day 8 of my cycle now, so it would really need to wait until next month to start it.
@Mariab I have been on HRT for about 5 years and these meds for around the same time, but as I said I had got really low on most of them until this happened.
@CLKD that's reassuring to hear you didn't have insomnia on propranolol. The heart palpitations and ectopic beats are one of my worse symptoms, so maybe I should rely on my Atenolol more. I have requested another appointment with my psychiatrist this week but not sure when it will be. I just feel like I need some kind of strategy to get out of this immediate crisis and that he's not helping me with suggestions for that at all.