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[Songbird]

🤣🤣
What a great recycling idea for wine corks, Jaypo 👌. 'Course, I won't need to do that given that I simply don't have a wind problem - aye right!! 

[CLKD]

Make sure that the corks are made of cork and not plastic ;-)

[jaypo]

Of course they're real cork clkd,I'm not common you know ......plastic indeed 

[CLKD]

 

[nickysmith19]

Many years ago when I stayed at my parents, one of the neighbours was in talking to my mum, we were sat on the sofa having our dinner, she was standing right in front of us and yes you have guessed ... she farted, well she didn't even stop talking, we all heard it and couldn't look at each other   

I remember in a previous job when I worked on reception, the disabled toilet was right next to my desk and I could hear everyone and I don't think they realised ... the Managing Director used to regularly use this toilet for a pee & farts but the thing was he would then come out and start chatting to me (he obviously didn't realise I could hear everything) and I had to then continue with the conversation with him with a straight face 

The kids used to say the same about granny and make jokes but erm I am getting to that age myself now and guilty as charged 

Sounds like you've mastered the post fart poker face !!   

[ElkWarning]

I'm a teacher and my chair at work (so in my classroom) makes a farting noise when I sit down on it. This used to make the kids giggle, and every time I'd say 'It's the chair, alright, it's the chair'.

We then progressed to everyone exclaiming 'It's the chair' whenever there was any farty noise ... And then a couple of them made me a lovely sign saying, you guessed it, it's the chair.

[CLKD]

 . My Mum was a sport teacher the 1950s and she would tell me that there were farts as the 11 year old girls did their exercises 

[jaypo]

Have you ever seen Billy Connollys skit about doing yoga and farting,hilarious 

[CLKD]

That reminds me of the 'JJobby Wicker' sketch