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Author Topic: New Here and Looking for Hope  (Read 401 times)

Lesliehome

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New Here and Looking for Hope
« on: April 22, 2024, 02:34:06 PM »

Hello, Ladies!  I am so happy to have been given access to this forum.  I have read through the thread on depression and it seems that you are a knowledgeable bunch.  Please allow me to briefly share my story--I have suffered from undiagnosed anxiety and OCD since teenage years.  Some intrusive harm thoughts with birth of my first child, but manageable.  After the birth of my second child I went off the rails and was unable to right myself despite all my best efforts, so I was diagnosed with Postpartum depression and OCD and began taking Paxil.  It worked wonders.  I have been at increasing doses throughout the past 23 years.  Went on birth control during perimenopause and ended up on a dose of 40mg Paxil daily, which all helped me to get through until now.  I am about a year post menopause now.  My mother died a year and a half ago and my daughter had my grandson.  My mother's death triggered a depression and surge in anxiety.  Went up to the highest dose of Paxil (50), which hasn't touched the anxiety/ depression.  Went on HRT--increased dose to 100 mg progesterone and 0.075 estradiol patch.  Still so, so anxious and depressed!  I barely recognize myself and am having trouble getting through the day.  During this time, I have been very involved in helping my daughter with my grandson and have spent about three hours per day caring for him.  I love him so much, but have been struggling due to the anxiety, depression, and not feeling capable or like myself.  Recently, my daughter has made the decision to go back to work full time and she wants me to watch my grandson.  I am feeling dread and so much fear about this--I really need to get back on an even footing to be able to rise to the occasion.  Does anyone have advice about what to do next?  I have been on the paxil for so long that I am afraid to switch and I don't know where else to go with the hormones.  Psychiatrist recommended adding buspirone to the Paxil.  Should I try to up the dose of hormones?  Sorry this is long and rambling--just hoping to find some answers from those of you who have experience. 
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CLKD

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Re: New Here and Looking for Hope
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2024, 03:54:39 PM »

Hello:  :welcomemm:

I've split your thread so that I can keep up  ::)


Hello, Ladies!  I am so happy to have been given access to this forum.  I have read through the thread on depression and it seems that you are a knowledgeable bunch.  Please allow me to briefly share my story--I have suffered from undiagnosed anxiety and OCD since teenage years.   have you been correctly diagnosed since your teens?

Some intrusive harm thoughts with birth of my first child, but manageable.  After the birth of my second child I went off the rails and was unable to right myself despite all my best efforts, so I was diagnosed with Postpartum depression and OCD and began taking Paxil.  It worked wonders. 

I have been at increasing doses throughout the past 23 years.  is this with your GPs knowledge?

Went on birth control during perimenopause and ended up on a dose of 40mg Paxil daily, which all helped me to get through until now. 

I am about a year post menopause now. 

My mother died a year and a half ago and my daughter had my grandson.  My mother's death triggered a depression and surge in anxiety.  Went up to the highest dose of Paxil (50), which hasn't touched the anxiety/ depression.   Shock may alter how medications might work

Went on HRT--increased dose to 100 mg progesterone and 0.075 estradiol patch.  Still so, so anxious and depressed!  I barely recognize myself and am having trouble getting through the day.



During this time, I have been very involved in helping my daughter with my grandson and have spent about three hours per day caring for him.  I love him so much, but have been struggling due to the anxiety, depression, and not feeling capable or like myself.  Recently, my daughter has made the decision to go back to work full time and she wants me to watch my grandson.


At this moment in time: This would be a firm 'no' from me, is your DD aware of how you are feeling at the moment?  If you explain that this isn't a possibility, how is she likely to react?  This is a possibility that she should have arranged prior to having the baby, also if you agree what happens if you feel ill again?  Your DD will be in the same situation.  Is there other support who could step in to help with child care?  You are after all, granny ;-)

Also, when you feel well you may want to go out and about to do 'your own thing' without stressors.




Psychiatrist recommended adding buspirone to the Paxil.  Should I try to up the dose of hormones?  Sorry this is long and rambling--just hoping to find some answers from those of you who have experience.  [/I]. Have U had a recent face2face consult with him/her?  Long-term Paxil may be difficult to wean off, it's a really long time and it mayB that your brain is so used to it that you aren't getting benefit.  It's happened to me several times!

What would buspiron be prescribed for?

Which is the most difficult situation that you would like to ease first? 
« Last Edit: April 22, 2024, 04:23:39 PM by CLKD »
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Lesliehome

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Re: New Here and Looking for Hope
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2024, 04:59:55 PM »

Thank you for taking the time to sift through the myriad issues I shared.  In answer to your questions--I now know I had anxiety and OCD after looking back.  I only received an official diagnosis of OCD last year.  When I had postpartum depression, I read that the intrusive thoughts were OCD, but I was just diagnosed as having postpartum depression.
I have increased from 20 to 30, 30 to 40 and the most recent up to 50 over the years as issues arose, always with the consultation of various healthcare providers.  In my latest consultation with the psychiatrist, she suggested adding buspirone to augment the paxil, as it may not be working anymore.  I didn't even mention in my original post that I also spend two nights a week at my Father's house since my mom died so that he won't be lonely, and he has various health issues that constantly pop up that keep me on edge, going to the hospital for visits, etc.  This time of life is very difficult and stressful, I am finding.  I believe if I get a handle on my internal issues, I will be much more able to handle the external factors.  I know that there are so many factors outside of my control contributing to my feelings, but I am hoping that at least if I get a handle on my anxiety and depression, I can manage everything I would like to do.  Your question about what I would like to solve first is a great one and gave me pause.  I would like to be able to be my best self again so I can rise to the occasion.  Thanks again!
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CLKD

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Re: New Here and Looking for Hope
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2024, 05:34:15 PM »

That's a start 4 you.  Also, what would you advise a friend, especially round the issues of child care?

How is your Dad since your Mum passed?  Do you have far to travel to visit with him, 4 us it's 2 hours to get to the Care Home and then my Mum isn't interested  ::).  What support is local to your Dad that you could put into place, for the future if not now.  AgeUK have lots of good leaflets full of advice which would be my starting point.

At our time of Life we are often dealing with elderly parents, teens, job changes ....... also we need to remember that to help others we have to be healthy ourselves.  Putting 'me' first is important otherwise situations can soon drag us down = unable to cope.

Were you well treated and supported during your postpartum?  How long B4 you began to feel anywhere near back to coping abilities?  All this can cause us in future to wobble a bit, 'what if' etc..
 
Off to look up buspirone.  :: good anti-anxiety med., give it a whirl ::   If it boosts the 'Paxil' then you have nowt to lose.  Let us knowhow you get on.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2024, 05:36:59 PM by CLKD »
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Lesliehome

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Re: New Here and Looking for Hope
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2024, 12:02:41 AM »

I certainly appreciate your thoughtful responses to my posts. The light in the darkness is always kind people to connect with. Take care and thanks again.
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