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[MrsMitch]

Hello ladies, once again I'd value your thoughts. I've finally, after 18 months, got an appointment in July at the hospital with the menopause specialist.  The reason for being referred was to get my Estradiol prescribed x7 per week but my GP has done that now. I was also hoping to ask for testosterone to see if my elusive libido might be resurrected.
My GP told me who it would be with and I said there is no way I'm seeing a man. She dismissed what I said and said he's excellent in his field ( he was actually mentioned in an article in the daily mail at the weekend). But I just could not speak to a man about my problems and I presume he would want to examine me to see the VA? I'd run for the hills.
Do you think if I phone the dept I could ask to see a woman ? What if they don't actually have one? I know we're all different but I just could not see him!! I also know these appointments are scarce.

[CLKD]

I have found over the many years, that male medics are better than females!   

In many countries there are no female medics or nurses  .  U R able to take someone with you as chaperone, this should be offered at all appts from GP upwards.  However.

Certain ethic groups do not allow females to be examined by a male Physician.  So your phone call may be valid but don't be disappointed if your preference isn't available.

Let us know how you get on.

[HellsBells]

If you're not comfortable definitely say so and get a different referral. My mum has this issue (early sexual assault when young) and she has seen a woman gynae. Having said that the terms 'male' and female' mean nothing in the NHS anymore. You could always have a private consultation with a consultant of your choice if they insist on treating your concerns as trivial.

[jaypo]

It wouldn't personally bother me if it was a man BUT I think it is your right as a woman to get a female Dr if that's what you want. My surgery always asks if you'd prefer a woman when it's something very personal

[Northerngirl]

Hi MrsMitch, Could you enquire as to whether you could see a female if that's your preference....but don't cancel the appointment just incase you change  your mind.
In my experience with gynae I've always had a chaperone when internal examinations are carried out regardless of whether they're male/female.
I agree with the others that it's your choice at the end of the day.....but will that mean an even longer wait? Have you been waiting ages anyway?
I'd weigh up the pros and cons ....Good luck 

[Hollyboll]

Hi - I agree with what others have said:

1. If you're really not comfortable, you have the right to see anyone who will make you less uncomfortable. 
2. Having been made very ill indeed by a famous female GP meno 'specialist' I have been very lucky to end up with a leading meno consultant who happens to be male.  He is at least as comfortable/empathetic and a billion times more knowledgeable and has taken more & better care of me than any doctor (of any gender) I've ever seen.   I'd go for expertise/approach over gender every time, but that's just me.
3. On reflection it is a sad truism (and indictment) of the system that there are probably fewer at the most-experienced consultants around, particularly perhaps in the NHS, who are female - but that's a philosophical/bigger conversation for another day!  There probably is at least one junior woman in his team.
4. You have the right to ask to see a female doctor if you prefer.  If you can get through on the phone, you're doing better than I've ever managed and personally I'd expect if you did you'd probably get some outsourced /offsite admin who a) wouldn't know and b) might move your appointment back further.  If it were me, I'd go on the day and tell them when you arrived you want to see a female doctor.  Clinics don't often tell you this but apparently you have the right to ask to see a consultant when you arrive - just expect them to make you wait and don't complain about the time - so I don't see it'd be any different.

When I went for a scan a few months ago, when I was finally called by a young guy, I said (as I had when arrived) 'No disrespect but I'd like to see' and he interrupted me to say 'a woman' - clearly because so many people did say that.  I said no, a consultant (who in that particular clinic head consultant was a man and I named him).  He almost fell off his stool because he is clearly so used to people asking for a female / female consultant, but I'd been told he was the best and that's what matters most to me.  That was for an internal procedure, but I'm sure you're not the first to ask at this clinic.  Just be prepared to wait, don't make a fuss about time - and I'd probably arrive a bit early and make clear you're happy to wait as long as it takes as they are flexing for you.

Good luck!
xx

[seemster]

Love your assertiveness Hollyboll….

Just wanted to add that my female GP who I assumed would be understanding was v quick to counsel me against HRT and as a result I suffered longer than needed. I did get started eventually but a few months ago her male colleague was covering for her one day and since speaking with him I’ve never looked back….

Re: the physical exam, it really is a personal preference but I’d personally prioritise experience over gender…

[Hollyboll]

Love your assertiveness Hollyboll….

I've learned the very hard way, with nobody to advocate for me and let down very badly by doctors who were supposed to look after me.  Lack of trust / terror / self-protection may occasionally appear as assertive.

xx

[Northerngirl]

Hollyboll, totally agree with you.  The older I've got the more I've learned to "assert" myself more with the medical profession.

[Nas]

You are right, these appoinments are scarce.
If it were me, I would go to the appointment, particularly as this consultant is one of the best.
Chances are, a female chaperone willl be present anyway.
What you need to remember, is that he does this for a living; it's his bread and butter if you like.

He may be fantastic! 

[jaypo]

They are usually very understanding of how,as women,we feel anxious about this,every one I've seen has chatted away to me and put me at ease and yes,always a female in the room too

[Dazedandconfused]

Totally up to you on who you want to see and if that's a female then you have the right to be seen by one. 

All I can add is my own experience.  A male consultant gynaecologist carried out all my scans and exams when I was referred to the hospital.  I'd checked before and knew he was very knowledgeable and had lots of patients singing his prasies so I decided to go for it.  He was amazing.  Explained everything, answered my questions, reassured me the whole way through, kept asking if I was okay, did I want him to stop etc etc. 

A female doctor was there the whole time and was equally reassuring and would have done the exams if I had wanted her to.

I really couldn't have asked for a better service.

[Nas]

Forgot to say, when I was first on the scrounge for HRT initially, numerous female GPS's pretty much told me to "get on with it" (previous breast cancer history) and were very dismisive of my sympoms and VA. But when I went to chat with my (male) oncologist, he was wonderful, in the respect that he fully understood my dilemma (even said his wife was on HRT and how life changing it was for her) Although he couldn't help me, his attitude was great and undrerstood quality of life is important.