Hi, I've been in your shoes. I held onto my meds for 12 months or more before I started them. I felt bad enough and I was terrified they would make me feel worse. It was once I got as low as I could get, I'm talking ......., that I decided I had nothing to lose but to give them a go. I worked myself up so much that once the cream touched my thigh, I almost panicked, but I calmed myself down realising that I was making the situation worse just by my thoughts. I actually started with only half a pump in the morning. My doctor said that would do nothing but it was the only way I could mentally allow myself to apply it. I figured a tiny amount to start with may show up any side effects and ill know whether to continue or not. I did that for a couple of days, didn't notice anything bad, so upped it to one full pump for about a week, still didn't notice anything bad, so I went to my full dose of 2 pumps daily, and am still on that now almost 12 months later. With the pill, I was again terrified of some effects so after some research I learned inserting it vaginally at night is the best method for lowering side effects. I didn't notice anything at all when starting that other that a wet feeling throughout the night.
I am now almost 12 months in and while I can say I'm not ........ anymore, I don't feel anywhere near as good as I would like to be. I've actually put a post on here thismorning regarding that.
But anyway, sorry for the long post but if I can narrow it down at all I would say give the meds a go. Slowly to start with if that helps your mind, but you truly won't know unless you give it a go. For some it works miracles. You may be one of the lucky ones!