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[Dawnkelly1976]

Hi all. Just want to talk to someone. My son is 18. He’s just gone to New York with college for two weeks. Wow amazing most would say. But he hates it. I don’t know what to say or do. I can’t just jump in car and go and pick him up. I’m trying to reassure hi it’s just the first day amd probably tiredness and a bit of jet lag. But I feel so helpless. He’s my baby. Anyway thanks for listening x

[Jules]

Ah, I remember feeling like that when mine went away on a field trip. He'd not made friends and had felt obliged to make numbers up. He was very reserved and not very practical and had anxiety.  I cried at the airport when he'd gone. My husband thought I was mad. Do you know though, problems cropped up and he dealt with them with help, he formed friendships and  he came home alive. It was the first of a few trips. Just reassure him that he'll find his feet and he'll remember it as an adventure and it will be fine. He will return home with stories.

[Dawnkelly1976]

Thank you so much. My reasoning voice tells me he will be just fine and it’s only the first days. My mum voice wants to book him in the next flight. Sometimes I think it’s worse because we have phones and can be in contact all the time.

[littleminnie]

Mine went to New York at 18 too.  I cried all the way home from the airport.  He rang up at night saying he hated it and couldn’t wait to come home.  Fast forward 48 hours and he rang up saying he loved New York and would definitely go again.

[Joaniepat]

Not wishing to be too flippant, but the Allan Sherman novelty song from the 1960s, Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh, here I am at Camp Granada .... comes to mind.
I'm with littleminnie and Jules on this, he'll be fine, and is probably not the only one in the school party calling home in this frame of mind. Chin up!
JP xx

[Dawnkelly1976]

Thanks littleminnie that’s what I’m hoping for. A good nights rest and some better weather as it’s rainy conditions Amd he will start to enjoy the experience.
And joaniepat not flippant at all. I sang that as I read it. There’s 40 students altogether so I’m almost sure there’s quite a few feeling the same especially as some are only 16. Thank you ☺️

[CLKD]

At 18 though will they all admit it to each other  which is where the 'staff' of the trip should engage.  Pastoral care I think it's called these days.

Even when we know others in the group, it can be hard.  How is he this morning and do encourage him to tell someone and find out how many others are homesick.  It's a really, nasty feeling  . even if he wanted to go.   

[Jules]

Coincidentally I was recalling my school trip to Paris the other day. 1970. I was 12. We travelled over land and stayed in a boarding school in dorms. It was my first time abroad. And whenever we were out, we were left with a meet up place and time. Aged 12. How times have changed.

[CLKD]

Yep - to meet usually where the bus had dropped us off.  I don't remember losing any1 though a couple of lads were later than expected!!!

[Minusminnie]

My mum voice wants to book him in the next flight.

I’d save your money until another day when he is not with a college group abroad and might really need rescuing!

[Dawnkelly1976]

Waiting to hear from him this morning with the time difference it’s five hours behind us. Yes clkd I agree they won’t talk to each other about how they feel. They’re in groups of 10 with a college leader so hopefully she’ll recognise how some of them maybe feeling. I have encouraged him to have a chat with her as it’s better to share.
Jules I also remember a trip to France when I was 10 for a whole week. Sleeping in dorms with wooden shutters Amd I remember one girl crying daily to go home. Totally different back then x

[CLKD]

How worried R U about how he might be feeling?  One way mayB is to suggest to him that he asks his group how every1 is feeling, bet they are all wanting to share.  Especially lads!

[mandss]

No one explains how hard it is to be a parent do they? You sound like the best mum ever!! Hope he is feeling a bit more positive today... xx

[CLKD]

Apparently when my Dad put me on2 the coach on my way to Lugano, I was 18, he cried.  Probably due to the many memories that he had of travelling France and Switzerland in his Youth.  I never looked back  [nor when I got married  ]. Simply went.

[Jules]

Waiting to hear from him this morning with the time difference it’s five hours behind us. Yes clkd I agree they won’t talk to each other about how they feel. They’re in groups of 10 with a college leader so hopefully she’ll recognise how some of them maybe feeling. I have encouraged him to have a chat with her as it’s better to share.
Jules I also remember a trip to France when I was 10 for a whole week. Sleeping in dorms with wooden shutters Amd I remember one girl crying daily to go home. Totally different back then x

I also remember a couple crying homesick and one teacher being really caring. I know my mum cried after I'd gone. Honestly he will be fine. We don't get through life totally in our comfort zone. We have to experience all things to survive