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[Penguin]

Hi Penguin,
Just pleased to see that team MM have been supporting you today.
I do hope you feel a bit calmer and at peace now?
Sorry this isn't something I know much about, but it seems you are tapping into all the available tools in the box right now.

I hope you manage to have a relaxing weekend away..

N xx   

Thanks Nas, yes calmer and actually just exhausted now. I have my late mum's lovely scarf around my neck and it's so comforting thinking of her. I should probably go and have a cup of my Amber gaba tea too eh!

Hope you're doing a bit better now too. I've pm'd you, but no pressure to reply x

[CLKD]

I have OCD thought patterns: when I find myself washing hands 'too' often I make a list to tick off when I actually need to do so.  I am also single minded/obsessed, i.e. DH can be talking to me but when I see a dog, I'm off  in mid conversation  .  To learn more about the dog, never bothered about the owners  .  I don't even pause for breath, I'm gone ......

When we are going away I make sure that I pack the cases weeks early so that if I am stricken, most is done.  There's the meds, wet weather clothing and maps to put in last minute without thinking too much. 

When R U due back?

[Nas]

Hi Penguin,
Just pleased to see that team MM have been supporting you today.
I do hope you feel a bit calmer and at peace now?
Sorry this isn't something I know much about, but it seems you are tapping into all the available tools in the box right now.

I hope you manage to have a relaxing weekend away..

N xx   

Thanks Nas, yes calmer and actually just exhausted now. I have my late mum's lovely scarf around my neck and it's so comforting thinking of her. I should probably go and have a cup of my Amber gaba tea too eh!

Hope you're doing a bit better now too. I've pm'd you, but no pressure to reply x

Awww.. yes take comfort from your precious scarf and have a cuppa. Sometimes things just get a bit too much don’t they and we need some relief.

I’m okay thanks. Got your message, but struck with an awful cold ( courtesy of my son!!) so just doing the basics until my nose stops running!

Chat soon x

[Penguin]

We go tomorrow evening back on Monday night. Drop the kids off mid pm on way to airport.

Do you reckon I should take some more diazepam tonight? Will I wake up calm in the morning? I've never taken it before bed....

I also get single minded about other things. It is mainly health worries that have me on a loop, but I can hyperfocus on other things too. Health is by far the scariest for me though.

[CLKD]

Health anxiety is physical.

I would be inclined to take 5mg this evening.  How many tablets do you have? 

[Penguin]

I've got about 20 left so I can defo take 5mg tonight.
My appointment with the psychiatrist will be around 8th March so I will have enough until then. Besides I should hopefully be feeling okay ish in next 24-48 hours or so, once I get past the travel which is always stressful, so shouldn't need to dip into them again for awhile. It is rare it gets this bad, thats why this past 24 hours really shook me.

[Gnatty]

Hi Penguin, just caught up, I am really sorry you are going through this. I have had it in the past and I so sympathise. I just wanted to add that I think if you take 5mg tonight you will wake up in the morning feeling lovely and calm. So that will be something really nice for you to anticipate. xx

[Penguin]

Hi Penguin, just caught up, I am really sorry you are going through this. I have had it in the past and I so sympathise. I just wanted to add that I think if you take 5mg tonight you will wake up in the morning feeling lovely and calm. So that will be something really nice for you to anticipate. xx

Thanks Gnatty, I'm in bed already as exhausted from the last 24 hours and have the tablet ready but waiting for a bit longer so the effects last longer. It will be so nice not to wake up with that shot of adrenaline and a massive feeling of heat and anxiety like I did this morning.

[CLKD]

Also you won't lay awake thinking 'what if I panic in the morning'.  Getting some rest will certainly help.  When I come out of panic attacks I am exhausted!  Even my shadow aches.

U probably won't require any more Valium once you get to the destination.  You're doing more than I could, that's flying: I can't even book a holiday more than 3 hours away from home 

Let us know how you get on once you return.  ...... and breathe ;-).  Take it about 10.00 or as you begin to feel sleepy.  I used to wake to see if I'd actually been asleep 

[Penguin]

Also you won't lay awake thinking 'what if I panic in the morning'.  Getting some rest will certainly help.  When I come out of panic attacks I am exhausted!  Even my shadow aches.

U probably won't require any more Valium once you get to the destination.  You're doing more than I could, that's flying: I can't even book a holiday more than 3 hours away from home 

Let us know how you get on once you return.  ...... and breathe ;-).  Take it about 10.00 or as you begin to feel sleepy.  I used to wake to see if I'd actually been asleep 

That's true, there's nothing worse than waking up in a panic in the night and knowing you won't get back to sleep because the anxiety is so bad. It all looks so much worse at night too. At least I know I'll sleep through. I've packed the valium in my hand luggage, flight isn't until 6pm so I'll take one when we leave for the airport to get me through the travel. I proved today that even with 5mg I was still alert enough to do stuff, not that I have done much at all today lol. You're right, I doubt I'll need it once we're there, all the different stimulation will distract me sufficiently.

[Penguin]

What you said before about wishing you could know for sure in advance whether you'd be able to relax and enjoy the holiday is very apt for me today!

[CLKD]

Tnx Minusminnie - Lorazepam.

I'm sure that your break will be OK once you arrive and realise that you have the Valium to hand.  Because I knew how it worked for me and when to take it appropriate, I never required the extra 5mg to 'get through'. 

Will U B sending a post card ? ;-)

This evening I was talking to a depressed friend who asked if I was every worried about becoming reliant on 'valium' as I do have a tendency for obsessions, but because I've always known that it works when needed, it never crossed my mind that I would require it every day. Eventually it stopped having a soothing effect and made me feel quite 'odd' [well odder than normal] so I didn't take it again.  In fact the old meds from the 1990s: Valium, Tramadol and another that I can't remember went to the surgery to be destroyed on Friday  ].  There was a time when I believed that I would never leave the house again  , it took a while to learn my limits and not take on too much at once.

Same with Lorazepam, when anxiety begins to take over is when I swallow it: it either enables me by easing the feelings or knocks me out.  Once I wake from a deep sleep all the anxiety has gone. 

[CLKD]

Did U sleep?


I remember that after taking 5mg Valium the effects would relax me for about 3 days

[Penguin]

Did U sleep?


I remember that after taking 5mg Valium the effects would relax me for about 3 days

Yes I did thank you! Slept from 930pm until 5am. Woke up relaxed, applied estrogel and was jittery and all over the place within 15 minutes. Weird. Surely it couldn't do it that quickly although I can't see what else it could be. Took half a diazepam and feel fine again. Neck sore from checking yesterday,  still wearing scarf. Gutted that turns put psychiatrist won't be until 23rd April now as that is the first date for new patients as you get a full hour at first appointment. I can see two other psychiatrists sooner but neither of them are as experienced, neither specialise in OCD and they just don't appeal. Given how much the appointment is costing me, I think I'd rather wait if I can.

[Arya Underfoot]

Hi Penguin

Glad to hear you've got an appointment, shame it's such a long wait. I've been seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist for nearly four years for my depression and anxiety. I don't take anti-depressants, too many bad experiences put me off. As an alternative to Valium you could try 0.5mg clonazepam (Paxam), it has similar effects but maybe not as sleepy (although it does help me sleep if I'm having racing thoughts), it also has a longer life span than Valium, so you can take it long term. I also use 2.5mg olanzapine, I think it's an anti-psychotic but a very low dose. I also take CBD oil for pain, which massively helps my general anxiety. I've just gone from peri to post and the anxiety and panic attacks are terrible, I completely understand your fear of going away.