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[Dorothy Gale]

Perimenopause has destroyed my life.

It's bad enough being severely ill already with M.E.

I now have zero qualiy of life as perimenopause has caused an even more incapacitated  life and impacted more than I could ever of imagined and caused utter misery. The small but happy life I had but a year ago...is now a pipe dream.

I've been on here long enough to know it doesn't get much better in actual menopause so I feel utterly hopeless and I hate my life. I used to love it, despite my limitations. I'm terrified to face next year.....another year of hell and symptoms constant and new all the time...to cause more suffering.

No suggestions. I needed to vent.

Christmas has been  tortourous, bedbound and in a mind/body I no longer know.

I will NOT go down the rabbit hole of HRT. Being on here is enough to make me run for the hills from it...even though I know its one sided on a forum.

Life is just gone.

[Kathleen]

Hello  Dorothy Gale.

 I am so sorry that you are suffering and you have my sympathy.

I was also unimpressed with HRT when I first started this journey. I used to read this forum and noted that most of the ladies were using HRT but experiencing problems. I decided to just push through  but after three years of worsening symptoms I changed my mind and asked my GP for HRT. Since then I have tried many variations and the regime I am on now is not particularly effective but I am disinclined to change again. Once more I am thinking of just pushing through and hoping that my body eventually settles down.

I sincerely hope that your situation improves soon and that you regain the life that you have lost. Other non HRT women tell me that it all works itself out if you give it time.

Sending you hugs and warm thoughts. You are not alone and I truly wish you well.

Fingers crossed for a better 2024 and take care.

K.

The majority of women do not use HRT so perhaps there is a natural end to the turmoil!

[Wrensong]

Hello Dorothy Gale, I'm so sorry you are having a truly rotten time of it.  I found perimenopause an unimaginably difficult stage of life, compounded by another chronic health condition - not ME like you, but hypothyroidism.  I feel for you as the combination of a difficult menopause with another condition that affects the entire body, day in, day out can be extremely challenging.  I just want to offer you some hope though, as for many women once postmenopause some symptoms do reduce in severity & some may disappear altogether once the fluctuations of our own chaotic output settle & our hormones reach a more stable low. 

Wx

[Wrensong]

Kathleen, that was a lovely post, bless you.
Wx

[sheila99]

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad and I really hope things improve for you. The only thing I'd say about this forum is that you get a skewed view of hrt. The people who post are the few who have problems with it, the many for whom hrt works well have no need to be on here. It's obviously a personal decision but perhaps life now is so bad you don't have much to lose by trying. For me it's been life changing though I don't have the added complication of ME. Sorry, I know you said you don't want hrt, it's just that I'd hate you to suffer like this if you don't have to.

[Jules]

Hi Dorothy. I have ME so I totally understand the impact on your life. I'm in a real trough at present due to some life stresses. I don't as far as I know,  have those menopausal problems though, nothing I can't cope with anyway. Mine are localised problems for which I resisted estrogen but now using and wish I had years ago before things got worse. I found this forum a bit scarey at times, people talking about stuff I didn't know could happen and it caused anxiety,  but I've also got advice that's helped and it's somewhere to vent as you say. As a fellow ME person, I can only say my strategy is that no two days are the same so I hang on to that. Conserve your energy and if HRT isn't for you, find out what else people have tried. Best wishes

[Kathleen]

Hello again ladies.

I am fortunate that I don't have ME but I am miserable as sin at the moment which may be due to me swapping Sandrena gel for Oestrogel at the beginning of November!

I am always hopeful that my poor old post meno body will somehow adapt to its new low hormone state!

I understand that HRT probably works well for many but the ladies on this site are clearly struggling despite their regimes so it is not an easy fix for everyone. 

Perhaps in the future there will be a treatment that helps us transition smoothly and happily into our post meno lives without the need for all the experimentation with HRT.


Take care ladies.

K.

[SarahT]

Hello ladies,

Dorothy as You know I had ME which affected me severely about 30 years ago. I now have chronic fatigue and now after being  seen at an ME \chronic pain clinic the diagnosis is very likely to be fibromyalgia. Whilst my symptoms are not as severe as yours, my life has been forced to alter dramatically.
I am also perimenopause and to be honest it's been hell the last 18 months or so. I literally  had no option to try hrt, my peri symptoms were so bad. It's taken me several months to get to a pretty even keep hrt wise.

Yes, this forum is used often  by women who are struggling in various ways wherefore it  can   seem hrt is more problematic than its worth, but that's not always the case. I l too  have used here to vent - and this is a very safe and supportive area for anyone to do so,  no matter why. As Jules says, can you research non hrt treatments to help with your hormonal symptoms? I am aware your ME leaves you highly sensitive to many types of medications, but there may be some alternative remedies that could help.

I have never seen hrt as a total 'cure', but much needed by myself  to alleviate the worse symptoms, one bit at a time. It is an ongoing process but so worth it for me.

I wish you well x

[Dorothy Gale]

I cannot cope having severe M.E. and going through this HELL.

IM TOO ILL ALREADY

..now my stomach is so bad/bloated I can only eat banana..my stomach hates everything I try to eat....the latest suffering from perimenopause to add to the list of unbearable hell.

The overwhelm and anxiety it crippling me. I need oeace  I need calm to cope with my ME and all this extra stress is making me so horrifically ill I will not survive

I'm too ill to keep reaching out. Just typing on my phone is almost physically impossible....I'm too ill to get help and there's nothing they can do anyway...they never can except meds I cannot take.

I'm too ill to research too ill to find ways to help. There are none. I can't do the things normal women can to escape the anxiety ..go for a walk, meet a friend, get outside, watch TV, exercise...I'm trapped incapacitated in a bed lying in the dark every day...no understands that. Look up ' severe M.E' on YouTube and see how horrific it is.

There's no way out.

[ElkWarning]

Hi Dorothy

I don't know what it's like to suffer from ME / CFS / Fibro.  However, I do know what it's like to be in a very bad place - my (30 y/o) son was born with a volatile life threatening and life limiting condition and it's been a seriously dark, exhausting and unrelenting journey.

From the tone of your post, I'd say you need an urgent intervention from a mental health team NOW.  You're currently at risk, and you know you are.  As well as health support, you need help from Adult Social Care.  I'm really hoping you can get hold of someone you trust to request an URGENT referral.

[Jules]

Hi Dorothy

I don't know what it's like to suffer from ME / CFS / Fibro.  However, I do know what it's like to be in a very bad place - my (30 y/o) son was born with a volatile life threatening and life limiting condition and it's been a seriously dark, exhausting and unrelenting journey.

From the tone of your post, I'd say you need an urgent intervention from a mental health team NOW.  You're currently at risk, and you know you are.  As well as health support, you need help from Adult Social Care.  I'm really hoping you can get hold of someone you trust to request an URGENT referral.

I agree. Dorothy, I do know what it's like. In the early stages I was so bad I couldn't tolerate my own breathing. I do know from experience that the anxiety from it makes it loads worse as it drains any depleted energy you have and your energy stocks are just about keeping your body functioning. It's probably why you can't eat. Digestion needs energy. Do you have anybody who can contact a doctor, adult social care crisis number, mental health helpline 0800 0130707, well being and mental health helpline 0800915 4640 or text HELLO to 07860 022846. You are not alone. Things can get better. 

[Jules]

Samaritans number is 116123.
Dorothy, though you think at this moment in time, that there is nothing or nobody that can help, there is. Your health can't be resolved instantly but it can be improved. Please keep in touch with us and tell us whether you've made headway.

[Dorothy Gale]

I cannot get then involved.

My carer/partner is literally isn't coping...his brother just died, he's going through hell and all this year has been to hell and back with me and my health and he can't take anymore, it's all come to a head the last week. I could see he was not coping...I cannot put an ounce more on his plate.

I got involved in mental health team in the summer. It was all consuming and hell for us both.

I cannot tell him my concerns and how I feel right now as he's hanging by a thread himself.

I will have to cope. He's worried sick enough about me.

I can't reply anymore thank you all I'm sorry

[Kathleen]

Hello again Dorothy.

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way and I agree that you need help.
Please consider calling any of the numbers that Jules has listed for you. There are people who  can provide help and they are only a phone call away.

Sending hugs and please keep us posted.


Take care.

K.

[Jules]

I cannot get then involved.

My carer/partner is literally isn't coping...his brother just died, he's going through hell and all this year has been to hell and back with me and my health and he can't take anymore, it's all come to a head the last week with gum. I could see he was not coping...I cannot put an ounce more on his plate.

I got involved in mental health team in the summer. It was all consuming and hell for us both.

I cannot tell him my concerns and how I feel right now as he's hanging by a thread himself.

I will have to cope. He's worried sick enough about me.

I can't reply anymore thank you all I'm sorry

A friend or neighbour? You can ring the samaritans yourself and at least keep talking to someone. Talk to them as you are to us. I can't tell if you've given up and accepted that you will always be ill or you feel you're life is so bad you don't want to live it, but please talk to someone.  Some of the numbers I gave are not part of social care services.