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[Clareaul]

I have been having symptoms of peri for over 2 years and have just self referred to the Menopause Clinic after having numerous GP consultations over the past 18 months and various adjustments to my anti-depressant and HRT dosages I still feel horrifically down all the time. I am consistently on the verge of tears, have put on so much weight. Have not had sex in over 2years and my partner has this week brought up separating as we are not in "any sort of relationship".  I have absolutely no motivation to do anything at all unless it is desperately required. This is not like me at all. I have always been an energetic, well organised woman in control of her emotions.  I just feel like a shell of myself and am increasingly isolating myself away from everyone.  It is not unusual for me not to leave the house for weeks on end and this is getting worse as each day passes. I have constant anxiety and get approximately 4hours sleep on a good night. I cannot cope with the thought that this could continue for up to 10 years before the menopause even starts !!!!

[CLKD]

HI! U R not alone.

  

Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful to chart progress, also to take to any appt..  Any idea how long you will have to wait for the appt.?

Which blood tests has your GP arranged?  Weight gain can happen during The Change, however it can be a symptom of other health conditions.  i.e. Polycystic Ovary Sydrome or thyroid function disorders.

How long have you been with your partner?  The weeks can roll by without sex until 1 or other decides it is time to take action.  Was the suggestion made with an 'or else' attitude or a sense of resignation?

What causes the lack of sleep? 

[Clareaul]

I asked them to do a rest for testosterone levels but they didn’t test for that. 8 months wait on the menopause clinic. I think partner said it out of frustration. He has been really good about it and patient but face feel when I said could last upto 10 years ! Xx

[CeCe]

Hi Clareaul,

I know it’s expensive but have you thought about a private appointment with a menopause specialist? My husband packed me off to see one (Newson Health), and it was the best £230 he spent, so he says. They sent a letter through to my GP who prescribed the HRT they recommended. It was very thorough, I felt ‘heard’, and most importantly, they sorted me out after years of struggling.

I know it’s expensive, but sometimes it’s a necessary expense.

CeCe

[Clareaul]

Update....., had a feeling something was going on but put it down to low self esteem and my own paranoia.

I chose to look at his phone and  I found messages to another woman declaring his love.i remained calm and confronted him. Was told it means nothing & he was sorry. He felt like we have not been a real couple for the last 4 years. coincidently this was around  the first time I caught him cheating the first time on Christmas Day!!!!

I was due to take my dad to the hospital that same morning. I was so grateful to be in a place where you can be crying in public and no one bats an eye!  I was a mess. I’d told him that he needed to be gone by the time I’d got home. Which he did. However I’m being bombarded now with text messages and phone calls. The last message saying it’s all because of the menopause and we should go to see a counsellor. I’ve now blocked him and now desperately trying to get my head together and move on.     

[sheila99]

I'm so sorry 

[Nas]

  I am also sorry to hear this news. Life can be brutal at times.

Wishing you all the strength you need you need get through this tough time x

[CLKD]

.... and breath.  Block him.  Let him stew - after C.mas tell him no contact for 3 months until he has his head together.  Also: ask him how he would feel if you dropped dead which might concentrate his mind.  U don't need to know the answer.

Men see sex totally different as we do and some men seek comfort if they believe that they aren't 'being heard'.  However, U have a lot going on with your Dad's appts. and menopause.  As well as it being 'that time of year'.  Stressful enough!

'all because of menopause' - he could have gone to see your GP about your symptoms with or without U.  He could have arranged to pay for a private appt 4 U with a specialist.  Perhaps he's looking for a way out?

The Change - does what it says on the tin.  Sadly we aren't prepared for many of the changes; GPs/medics don't get it either in some surgeries and men feel left behind ........

Keep posting.  We R here 2 listen!

[fiftyplus]

I am also sorry to hear this 

[daisie]

I have been having symptoms of peri for over 2 years and have just self referred to the Menopause Clinic after having numerous GP consultations over the past 18 months and various adjustments to my anti-depressant and HRT dosages I still feel horrifically down all the time. I am consistently on the verge of tears, have put on so much weight. Have not had sex in over 2years and my partner has this week brought up separating as we are not in "any sort of relationship".  I have absolutely no motivation to do anything at all unless it is desperately required. This is not like me at all. I have always been an energetic, well organised woman in control of her emotions.  I just feel like a shell of myself and am increasingly isolating myself away from everyone.  It is not unusual for me not to leave the house for weeks on end and this is getting worse as each day passes. I have constant anxiety and get approximately 4hours sleep on a good night. I cannot cope with the thought that this could continue for up to 10 years before the menopause even starts !!!!

hi, you sound the way I do these past few months iv got worse Iv no motivation to do anything I have to force myself to go out even that has become a chor for me to do I'd rather stay in,iv gone from an energetic woman always out socialising to can't be bothered with anything and everbody x daisie

[LC1962]

Hello

This could be me writing the post, and I am 62.  Well through menopause but hormonal changes wreaked havoc on my brain chemicals.   I used to wake with horrendous morning dreads, staring into space with no motivation….getti g in the shower felt like climbing a mountain.  No joy in life, just felt dead inside. 
My crippling anxiety and lack of motivation was a nightmare for years. I have also been on Prozac since the birth of my son 33 years ago.  I believe there  is some research to suggest estrogen dominance in women can be a problem.  Particularly during the huge hormonal shifts in puberty, Pregnancy and meno …( if you had very easy pregnancies, but bad periods and PMT symptoms)

Please think about trying progesterone balancing cream or gel. Have a chat with your GP or you can buy Progestogel or Pro-Gest online.  See research by Dr. Lee.

Also, B vitamins can make a huge difference to hormonal brain chemical changes. Especially thiamine.
I am currently taking all the B’s…thiamine, folic acid, B12, Biotin and magnesium taurate helps absorption. 
All can help with energy levels and clearer thinking …again do some simple searches.  Works very quickly to lift mood!
https://shutupmind.com/thiamine-vitamin-b1-for-anxiety/


There is nothing worse than this kind of low depression and anxiety and I feel for you x

Edits for spelling

[Clareaul]

Hi some sorry haven’t replied. I don’t get notifications of posts.

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I am truly grateful.

Update, still single but having to deal with regular phone calls and messages for my ex crying telling me he’s heartbroken and can he come home. Seriously he doesn’t get it. I’m in a much better place even though struggling financially but I’m now in control of what I allow to affect me. Have reclaimed my home and space back and feel good on my own generally. But do get overwhelmed sometimes getting used to being on my own if that makes sense. It doesn’t make sense to me as I’ve always been highly independent but after living with someone for 7 years it’s a massive change, plus I’m changing too hormonally. I managed to get an appointment with a lovely menopause doctor who went against protocol as I’m out of the area and said she couldn’t not see me after reading my despair email.  I am so grateful to her because for the first time I actually felt heard. I’ve been put on the gel and the progesterone tablets as I was on evorel 100 and had no relief of symptoms. So fingers crossed xxxxx

[CLKD]

Morning Clareaul. Tnx for the update and well done!  Half a day at a time.  We have another Member recently separated so U r not alone.

He may well be upset and may well have 'not meant anything' by his actions.  Because men really don't think with their brains in their heads, if you gets. my drift.

There's no rush to do anything except getting into a 'good space'.  Spring is on its way, no better time than to move forwards.