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[SarahT]

Hello all,

Am thinking I may need to go back onto anti depression meds. I was on sertraline, 100, but came off when I started hrt hoping that it would be enough to work both physical and mental health . I wanted to treat the cause rather than individual symptoms.

Am reaching the conclusion that it probably isnt. Although my high dose of hrt is helping the cyclical pms and pmdd symptoms, I now need to accept the rest of the month my mood is totally  crap and getting worse.

I have a lot to deal with, the peri symptoms alone have overwhelmed me,the impossible case of even obtaining the hrt, arthritis newly diagnosed, my mum dying and my husband's own health getting worse.

Am finding it too much to cope with. Am on list for talking  therapy but it is a few months wait.

Thing is my libido like a lot of women's is stupidly low. Having lost so much already I desperately need to hold on to the tiny bit of sex drive I have left.

Anyone on an AD that doesn't affect libido? My g.p is not keen on testosterone.

Thanks.

[discogirl]

Hi SarahT

Sorry I'm not really clued up on anti-depressants, the only thing I take is 10mg of amitrypline, I too struggle with anxiety and depression.

But I just wanted to say you've got so much going on, if you need AD's then go back on them. Sometimes things in our lives just over-whelm us. I mean, your mum's death alone, then you have your ill health and your husbands.

Please keep reaching out on here, take care xxx

[Perinowpost]

I went through a period when my mother died and I had a reactive depression when I tried all the anti depressants, and I’m sorry to say they all flattened my libido. It was partly why I didn’t like taking them.

I know for some people that is not the case and I think it is more to do with each individuals actual response to the anti depressants medication than anything.

You have a lot to cope with so sending you a big hug. You will find lots of support on here x

[CLKD]

We need to split these problems into manageble sections.

Have U thought to contact CRUSE - support by the bereaved for the bereaved.  Most areas have a support group to contact.  It often depends on how the relationship with our parents /siblings has been as to how we deal with death.  I am usually fine until months later, when something totally unrelated will set me off.

MIND Charity helped me a lot via e-mail when a friend ended his Life.  Although they have a walk-in meeting every week I was unable to attend as in deep shock.


What support does your husband access?  Does the support ease his situation?

GPs won't prescribe testosterone.  Usually women have to go to a dedicated menopause clinic either NHS or privately - even though women would be getting testosterone along with other HRT regimes.  It is not simply a male hormone which many seem to believe!

When first depressed I wanted to tackle the cause, I kept being told that I was 'pre-disposed' as both sides of my family have suffered.  But I wanted to know why.  I have organic and clinical depression which is eased by Escitalopram 5mg at breakfast, 10mg at night.  The brain tends to get forgotten: out of sight out of mind  .  Literally.  Also, 8-12 months of an AD might well help you see the wood for the trees.  I swallow my treatment without thinking about it.

Non of the ADs have affected my libedo.  The latter is due to hormonal upheavals.  I know because the night B4 a bleed began, I would sob for hours.  Even when a period wasn't due!

Don't beat yourself up for deciding to try a treatment regime.  If it works you will benefit!

[Gnatty]

Mirtazapine is quite well known not to affect libido. I used it to good effect for about 18 months and it's great for sleep too. There is always a caveat with these things unfortunately and that is some women find they put on weight with it. Some also find it hard to come off. I was lucky I didn't really have problems at all but was able to get away with a low dose. x

[Losingtheplot]

Hello all,

Am thinking I may need to go back onto anti depression meds. I was on sertraline, 100, but came off when I started hrt hoping that it would be enough to work both physical and mental health . I wanted to treat the cause rather than individual symptoms.

Am reaching the conclusion that it probably isnt. Although my high dose of hrt is helping the cyclical pms and pmdd symptoms, I now need to accept the rest of the month my mood is totally  crap and getting worse.

I have a lot to deal with, the peri symptoms alone have overwhelmed me,the impossible case of even obtaining the hrt, arthritis newly diagnosed, my mum dying and my husband's own health getting worse.

Am finding it too much to cope with. Am on list for talking  therapy but it is a few months wait.

Thing is my libido like a lot of women's is stupidly low. Having lost so much already I desperately need to hold on to the tiny bit of sex drive I have left.

Anyone on an AD that doesn't affect libido? My g.p is not keen on testosterone.

Thanks.

Hi hunni

Big hugs to you. You have a lot going on bless you and I am so very sorry for the loss of your mam I can't begin to imagine how you will be feeling.
I have suffered depression from a teenager and have to take Ads to lead a life as otherwise I spiral back down everytime I have tried to come off them.
Everyone goes thru difficult stages in their lifes where things are just too much for us to manage and Ads are very good at helping (once you find the ones that suit you)
Anxiety then was an another amplified symptom out of blue courtesy of peri as if on off depression isnt enough!
I have little or no sex drive has improved slightly since starting HRT but waiting on meno specialist appointment and want to ask for testosterone.
Why don't you try Ads and ask to be referred to a specialist via your Gp?
I am.also so.sorry to hear of your husbands ill.health and your recent health diagonisis it seems to be one thing after another for you.
I.wish I could help.more hunni big hugs xxxx

[suzysunday]

I took paroxetine (seroxat) which definitely flattened libido and caused inability to orgasm and that was before the menopause. A lot of AD'S inhibit orgasm.

[Bandango42]

I took fluoxetine for years, not sure if it flattened my libido as tbh I didn't have one of much anyway. However, it didn't stop me from being able to orgasm although I have a friend who was also taking it and she couldn't no matter what she did.

[SarahT]

Thanks everyone,
Needless.to say not  the  answers I wanted but I sort of did expect them.

Just seems hard to feel you have lost so much, trying hard to get a quality of life back and the tiny bit of libido left is likely  to be stolen as well. I was definitely worse libido wise whilst on sertraline.

I really appreciate all your replies. Am.aware we all react differently to medications, but when I speak with my g.p I really do need to be firm that I want to keep a semblance of sex life. Not much to ask really is it?

Will look into mirtazapine,  but worry ( history of eating disorders, body image issues  ) that weight gain could trigger more bad than good. And maybe she may take me seriously and find an AD that may be ok libido and orgasm wise, and also discuss referral to a meno cliinic.

I genuinely feel talking therapy will help, but know that a potential further 5 month wait will not be feasible without beginning AD -  knowing they are not of course not an instant benefit. I don't feel shamed in needing to treat my mind as much as my body, just hoped hrt could support me better this way.

I think in normal circumstances it would but my life right now is hit by too many abnormal circumstances.

Whilst I thank you all  for your advice, crucially to me is the support always offered by you all

[SarahT]

Also CLKD,

Appreciate the separate advice 're bereavement and my husband's health.
I want to use talking therapy in part about my mum's death, I feel no 'urgency'  as such it just seems part of the overwhelming package of stuff so have right now.

My husband is an amazing support to me. We prop each other up at tough times but enjoy 30+ years of banter and laughter, even at the worse of times. He has various health issues and a new one has us in a bit of shock. Await new tests. But still holding on strong. My turn to be his strength whilst he gives as much back to me.

Baby steps again

[Clovie]

The only antidepressant I have had that didn't affect ability to orgasm was amitriptyline, although my GP at the time said it SHOULD have inhibited it.    Maybe I was strange in that respect?

I recall I came off it because I'd read that as an old style antidepressant (anticholinergic ) it was allegedly linked to dementia.
As my GP could not tell me at what dose this was an issue I came off it and onto another antidepressant. Shame as, as I said it did not affect 'bedroom activities' and it helped with sleep too...

(Just to say, I certainly don't want to cause any unnecessary alarm for anyone on amitriptyline currently, it's just that it was something I'd gone on to google having read an article about it.)

[Penguin]

Hi Sarah

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, you are going through an awful lot and it sounds sensible to seek some extra help again with it. I can't vouch for libido as mine had dropped before starting anti depressant,  but even since starting a low dose of citalopram (10mg), it has impacted my ability to orgasm and intensity of orgasm.  It's the one thing I don't like about it.

With mirtazapine, I thought you only gained weight if you ate more as it stimulates appetite quite a lot. So if you know that in advance and can manage it with healthy food / willpower the  perhaps you won't gain weight at all.

[SarahT]

Thanks C!ovie,

I guess it.always depends on an individual as to how they react to medication. My husband was once on amitriptyline and always had weird hallucinations!

And Penguin, thank you too.  Looks like I have no option but to risk a new AD. And just pray it doesn't affect my libido or ability\strength of orgasm... The anxiety and depression has ramped up too much to leave it unsupported. Tbh I don't always feel safe or rational with myself.

So mental health help needed. I have a phone appt Weds so will make concise notes beforehand. Just too much to cope with. Some days resigned to it other days 100% know I need medical help.

Here we go again. Thanks everyone

Wish you all well x

[Losingtheplot]

Let us know how the phone appointment goes on wed hunni

Take care xxxx

[SarahT]

Thanks as always..you always  come along to boost me,  where would we be without the care and support from everyone on here?

Seem to lurch from one crisis to another so it seems, but as always I DO know there are better days as well.

Am thinking to ask about meds only for the days leading up to my ' period ' ( have mirena)  as these are without doubt the absolute worse, and many weeks ago my g.p suggested this could help as the pms or pmdd symptoms were plainly worsened by peri. I am not depressed as such for half  the month so any to discuss using meds as more of an as needs basis.

I am aware there are some pretty hard circumstances in my life right now but am not 100% certain I am experiencing full time depression if that makes sense? I do feel it is linked to my cycle.
Hope the g.p can work it out better than I can. But am very much doing something about it. Too scary not to.

Xx