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[KaraShannon]

I thought I'd start a thread for anyone feeling like they are breaking down, even if they know it's only for one day (or for some it's feeling more long term).

All welcome to post in this space if you'd like.  I'm not doing great myself today so this won't always be a space for instant support but we can offload here and come back to it as and when we feel we have something to offer when stronger. 

What do you think? 

I'm in the shell of my old property, I am moving.  My best friend (male best friend who has always been there for 20 years) is going through some sort of rough patch where he cannot offer any support, only angrily seek it.  So I had that this morning on the phone.  If that were an ongoing problem I would not tolerate it, but he's lovely most of the time and deep down has the best intentions.  He's got his own stuff atm.  It is just hard when I'm feeling so uprooted and also anxious because of subtle abuse from my landlady over the years and panicking that I won't be able to leave the property in the perfect state.

And it's so hot!  I don't have hot flushes, it's this property, it's hotter than most.  But of course hormones are not helping over all.  Just feel like a deer in headlights right now. 

[SarahT]

Hello Kara,

Just wanted to send you a huge 

I understand. Take away the hormonal Crap and your life situation right now would be massively stressful. Add in the hormones and yep, kicked back down even further.
It's good that you can accept that your best friend is there for you, and will be again but that he is in his own crisis right now.... Meantime... You have us!!

Not much consolation as I am in the increasingly downward spiral. Need some time to build myself up from it, but it's a good place here where we can be totally honest with each other. Forget about that false smile we feel we have to present to some of those about us and just have a space to say " sorry my life is shite at the moment, I am anxious,scared and feel my life is a bit out of control ".

So. It's good you accept your friend is in need of a rant, and as I say in normal circumstances you can take it. You have been friends for 20 years,so I am sure you can both weather these storms. I suspect you have both held each other up through so much together.

Moving as we all know is hugely anxious times. Are you able to ask your landlady just what she needs from you with regards to the property? If you have a list as such maybe some of your fears are unfounded?

Do you have a good place to go to? Something positive once you have done the big move?

Cannot comment on the heat side. I feel knackered the best of times let alone in this heat...

Keep posting.am sure this thread will be a popular one. Xx

[CLKD]

Kathleen has also started a similar thread.

The weather + hormones won't help if the body/brain is already stressed.  Apart from divorce, moving is up there to add stress++!

Did U have an inventory when you moved in?  Could you employ a professional cleaning company to whizz round .......... will you be moving far from 'here'?  Many are being turned out of rental properties as the rent no longer covers the buy2let mortgage payments.  So owners R getting rid onto the open market.

....... and breath.  Keep hydrated.  This too will pass.

[KaraShannon]

Hello Kara,

Just wanted to send you a huge 

I understand. Take away the hormonal Crap and your life situation right now would be massively stressful. Add in the hormones and yep, kicked back down even further.
It's good that you can accept that your best friend is there for you, and will be again but that he is in his own crisis right now.... Meantime... You have us!!

Not much consolation as I am in the increasingly downward spiral. Need some time to build myself up from it, but it's a good place here where we can be totally honest with each other. Forget about that false smile we feel we have to present to some of those about us and just have a space to say " sorry my life is shite at the moment, I am anxious,scared and feel my life is a bit out of control ".

So. It's good you accept your friend is in need of a rant, and as I say in normal circumstances you can take it. You have been friends for 20 years,so I am sure you can both weather these storms. I suspect you have both held each other up through so much together.

Moving as we all know is hugely anxious times. Are you able to ask your landlady just what she needs from you with regards to the property? If you have a list as such maybe some of your fears are unfounded?

Do you have a good place to go to? Something positive once you have done the big move?

Cannot comment on the heat side. I feel knackered the best of times let alone in this heat...

Keep posting.am sure this thread will be a popular one. Xx

Thanks for your support Sarah.  I'm sorry to hear you are feeling in the downward spiral and hope you can find a ledge or something to stay on and step away from that spiral. 

I think my ledge is usually retreating from the world at home in the evenings, but because I'm moving I feel uprooted, lol.  And that would be tolerable if I wasn't feeling under the weather so often.  But yes I have a nice place to go, this is a move forward not back, it just doesn't feel like it atm.  I'm not good with change, so atm it doesn't matter how positive it is where I'm going    but it will be alright soon, lol.

I hope you feel better soon too Sarah, you can always chat here x

[KaraShannon]

Kathleen has also started a similar thread.

The weather + hormones won't help if the body/brain is already stressed.  Apart from divorce, moving is up there to add stress++!

Did U have an inventory when you moved in?  Could you employ a professional cleaning company to whizz round .......... will you be moving far from 'here'?  Many are being turned out of rental properties as the rent no longer covers the buy2let mortgage payments.  So owners R getting rid onto the open market.

....... and breath.  Keep hydrated.  This too will pass.

You are so right CLKD, this too will pass. 

Yes I have a cleaning company coming in, I just don't do well with change at all.  You know we were talking about shingles on the other thread, I developed shingles just by going on holiday to a campsite with my family when I was little    It's not logical.  Not at all.  I am better doing change slowly where I can. 

I wonder why moving is so stressful.  I mean I can understand if moving miles away or have a big family, but neither is true for me.  I'm being re-potted    now I know why some plants don't make it, lol

[KaraShannon]

Oh I hope I haven't duplicated a post like Kathleen.  If I have we can carry it on there.  I was thinking this was a general thread for ongoing breakdowns,  but if that's the same intent on Kathleen's, my apologies    (and if so, carry it on over on that one)

[CLKD]

Carry on with your thread, it's OK.  My point being that many are feeling stress .............

Moving is stressful and your body seems to react with herpes which is quite common. 

Let us know how you get on! 

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

I think this thread is a great idea and certainly there is no need to apologise to me.

Any extra stress at this time in our lives is very hard to deal with and having a safe and compassionate place to offload is essential.

Wishing you all well ladies and sending hugs to those in need.

K.

[SarahT]

Thank you Kara

I am pleased that you have a positive outlook on your move, it's just the upheaval of it all right now. It is unbelievably stressful to move, even if you are staying where you want to be. And having professional cleaners in is a great idea. One tiny thing you can tick off.

But I don't know if it is a mix of getting older, hormonal or just our personalities but I hate change. It just makes me so nervous.my self confidence in many aspects of life has just taken a right nose dive. I used to cope well even in stressful situations, but right now it's all just piling up and I feel ready to crack it I get not by one more thing.

Am considering speaking to drs. I was on an AD which I weaned my self off a year ago, and the reason I am reluctant to go back on them is I am certain I am this way due to peri. So if I am on the right hrt, I should surely fell better than I do? More able to cope and not feel so ' flat ' and nervous and breaking down in stressy situations?

But of a quandry. Needs thinking about as am not sure I am depressed as such and do not want AD's unnecessarily.

Ah well. Having a quite day today. Much needed.

Take care Kara,

[CLKD]

Hormonal upheaval can be awful.  HRT isn't always a cure but may well help with some symptoms.

I am OK if I keep to a routine and don't book anything too far ahead. Unless I can book along with DH but not make any firm plans : i.e. going to a funeral or as later this year, to an Event in my family village where I haven't been for years  .  B&B booked but I will simply turn up!

Change throws me: I either deal on adrenaline and flop after, or simply can't cope.  It doesn't take much 4 me to stop eating 

[Nas]

Solidarity to those who are struggling.

No advice, only sympathy, chocolate and empathy.

Trapped in my own shit show of a life at the moment. Health going right down the pan and need a new job!

Hugs to all
🍫🍫🍫🍫🍩🍩🍩

[SarahT]

Hey Nas,

Oh look. It's us two again STILL going through a never ending cycle of hormonal crap.

Am willing to share the chocolate with you but NO. I can't eat it because my hiatus hernia is still playing up and I am scared to eat anything ' unsafe ' until it settles. Throw in arthritis in both hips, means hard to move let alone exercise, so gaining weight, utter lack of sleep, still exhausted, and moving stupidly slow so I can only do a fraction of what I could a few months ago and mood swings that STILL come out of nowhere, and almost constant now, crying most days,  want to give in, and just makes me feel what's the bloody point? Ever increasing hrt despite blood tests showing all is ' normal '.

So. Nas. I give my share of chocolate to you. Because you need it and I always always offer my empathy to you. X

[Nas]

Hey buddy, fancy meeting you here too!!   

Things sound tough your end. I think you should at least have a nibble of the chocolate, it can’t hurt, surely?

I’m guessing you are still peri?
All bloods done? Iron B12 Thyroid function? I’d love to know what “ normal” means when a person feels utterly crap; mind boggling really!

Any treatment in the way of physio for the arthritis?

It’s a rollercoaster, no other way of describing it. I’m on it with you, in mind and spirit ( my body is fucked so can’t be with you there unfortunately!  )

Sending a mountain of support, chocolate ( yes you can have a nibble now and then!) and positive vibes lovely 🥰 xxxx

[SarahT]

So glad you can make me laugh Nas with all this non stop hell.

Noooo. Not a teeny bit of chocolate. Bloody reflux gone mad. Living on toast and veggies and even that sets it off. Need that on top of everything.🙁

So it's all yours. Go barmy on the biggest bar you can hold. It's on me!

Thyroid I had to up medication early in year, all else shows ok levels. So wtf??? Am on pysio for hip pain, nice in this heat but doing it every day.

Get on to your gp today won't you. If you get no joy out them on to me. I'll fight your corner. Thanks as always for just making me feel a tiny bit better.

Loads love xx

[Nas]

Always here for you Sarah,
I may not always reply immediately, but I will manage to hunt you down! ❤️

I’ve saved some choc for you when you are able to have some, don’t you worry!

Thyroid is a bugger.. it seems to have the potential to cause havoc at the drop of a hat, so keep a watch on things.

I do hope physio will help with the arthritis; another horrid condition.

Take care Sarah.. remember THE ONLY WAY IS UP!!

Xxxxx