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[SarahT]

After upping  my estradot to 100 sis weeks ago I finally thought I was getting somewhere. My moods were improving,night sweats not so bad, VA still much as with localised cream\gel.  Better still I had been working hard on ways to lessen and control the anxiety. Was doing okayish for me. Energy better some days, meant I could do more so mentally felt better.
Then it's period week again. Despite trying to suppress my own cycle my moods plummeted and the really nasty thoughts began to creep back in. I had hoped the pmdd symptoms from a couple of weeks ago had been suppressed. They obviously have not.

Add on the fact it is impossible to get 100 estradot in my area. Anxiety has been thorough the roof as I spend most days for the last THREE months trying to obtain my hrt ringing and visiting any pharmacy I come to. As I had some old 50's I was using 2 at a time. Had one weeks left and my (sympathetic and caring surgery pharmacy) pulled out the stops and said if I can find anywhere who had 50's to call them and they would send a new prescription electronically. I was so stressed at this point I couldn't speak to them as I was crying so much. Why is it so hard?

Felt so weak and stupid. Thought I was coping but the anxiety on my period week just threw me back down again. Feel shite today.

Just needed to get that out. Sorry. X

[CLKD]

It's OK.  When symptoms hit it can be difficult to see past them.  How long do symptoms last after the bleed stops?

[SarahT]

Well I shouldn't really be bleeding as an on the Mirena coil, but most months I have light bleeds or spotting. Sometimes during rest of month intermittently too. But I do get the moss symptoms, sore boobs, ( back on eve primrose now) and the mood dips, which lately kicked into pmdd severe moods and thoughts.
Last couple.of months they last for about 10 days whilst bleeds\spotting, then last few weeks I have felt pretty good. With me it is very much cyclical hence my g.p working to suppress my own cycle eleven moods out. Felt it was working too until last day or so. Just feeling a bit crushed.

[CLKD]

I found with panic attacks that the set backs were worse than the original one!

Has any1 suggested hysterectomy?  A big decision ........ 10 days is difficult to work through I would imagine?  How is your diet?

[joziel]

SarahT, you mention PMDD but then you also mention 'period week' a few times and suppressing your cycle etc. It's important to try to figure out whether your problems are with PMDD (usually that's the lead up to period, caused by progesterone-related issues and often progesterone intolerance and it usually resolves right away when you get your period) or actually getting and having your period (usually caused by low estrogen). Because it involves different hormones...

If it's happening during your period, that is when your estrogen is lowest during your cycle - so you might need more estrogen and higher than a 100 patch to ride that out. If your GP won't prescribe that, you might need to try to go to a private menopause clinic.

A private clinic would also help with you effortlessly being able to get your HRT. It shouldn't be this way but sadly it is. I've never once been able to get my full prescription (3 hormones of the right brands!) from my regular GP. It's one reason I stay with Newson. They always have everything I need in stock. I get what I can from my GP and then anything out of stock there, it's so easy just to order it online from Newson and have it turn up in the post a few days later. Again, it shouldn't be this way and everyone should be able to get this on the NHS, but then that's also how it is

[SarahT]

Thanks clkd,
It has crossed my mind 're hysterectomy, when I am in my worse times. But I am 56, despite my period symptoms every 4 weeks regular as clockwork surely they should stop soon? I do feel I am getting slowly better but it's just the same time each month t happens again. It's just hard to take sometimes.

Joziel, thanks also for getting back. I understand what you are asking. I have been keeping a ' mood diary ' for several months to try to note patterns. I definitely begin to get verylow again just prior to my ' period ' (such as it is on coil, more the symptoms over bleed) this is when the bad thoughts creep in. Once I show ( faint) signs of a bleed they tend to be more a pissed of, low, here we go again why won't it just bloody stop mood. If that makes sense, which frankly not much does in peri for me...

I have blood tests due this week and my.g.p will call me to discuss. Am on a pretty high dose of thyroxine too so checking that as so understand all the hormones involved can react sometimes.
I originally was on utrogestan and hated the instability and so switched to the mirena for a more constant delivery of progesterone. Have seen (your?) thread about doses of oestrogen vs progesterone which are very interesting. I shall be asking my g.p ( she is meno friendly) about this,  and also if need be a referral to a clinic.

Have now for 2 months of patches so at last that anxiety has gone. Thanks all

[Emzib0b]

Hi Sarah,

I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling this way again. I know how horrible it feels when you’ve been improving and feeling better only to have all those awful thoughts and feeling return. I think I read that it can take a few months for cycle suppression to occur, but I recall you have the option to increase your patches further via your GP if need be?

Don’t apologise! You’ve been coping exceptionally well. Your hormones and brain chemistry are lying to you!

Big hugs x

[Flossieteacake]

Crying does not mean you are weak or stupid. You are always so kind and sympathetic with members on here but you do not seem to treat yourself the same way.

It can be very difficult to find a HRT that suits and then for it to suddenly be unavailable it is stressful and worrying because you will be unsure how you will respond to a different type. This is a natural feeling and I would say most of us would feel the same way if our HRT was unavailable.

Please be kind to yourself. You are a lovely person.

[SarahT]

Thank Emz,

You know only too well that crashing feeling again I know, so appreciate and accept your hug. Maybe 6 weeks is indeed too soon to tell. There definitely have been some better times, I even felt a bit me again. But yeah, I am in the down bit where you don't think you are coming out of it when you and I ( and too many on here) know we DO come back out of it. I just can't believe it yet. But that WILL come.
Feeling pretty good at last lulled me into thinking I had cracked it get again. Should know better by know.

Think I just need a bit of hand holding today. Xx

[SarahT]

Okay Flossie. Now I really am crying again.  Thank you for your kindness. Xx

[CapriCapri]

Hi Sarah.  I don't know what to add except to say you are most certainly not weak or stupid.  You are obviously brilliant and dealing with all the cr*p that this horrid 'M' word throws at us.  Big hugs and good wishes.  Things will get better and keep ranting in the meantime.  It helps, I know.  And we are all here for each other at this rantable (i just made that word up) time . xx

[CLKD]

I was told to eat every 3 hours to ease those awful energy dips = uncomfortable thoughts.  Every 3 hours, 24/7. 

[SarahT]

Hah! Think rantable should be added to a specific hormonal dictionary. I think we all know a few extra words to include...

Thank you Capri, all your replies have helped me calm down a bit. I think some days it's just All too much and too many things hit at the same time. Am sure in a day or two I will be bringing myself out of this cycle I always fall I to. Need to reiterate to myself that I am not as bad as so have been at times.

I have blood tests as I say in a couple of days, and as always I shall make notes to keep me on track when my g.p phones to discuss.

Whilst I now know that  a g.p cannot prescribe a higher patch than the 100,  if my oestrogen  is low ( and I  do know how unreliable bloods can be)  I do know I could either  try to hold out to see if I DO improve more on this 100 patch, patience can be short I know, OR I  could have anti anxiety meds prior to pms\pmdd symptom week only, OR maybe be referred to a meno clinic if need be.

Ok, teary but calmer. Thanks all. X

[SarahT]

Clkd,

I do snack  on 'good' small snacks if I think my blood sugars low, but just to complicate things, I have had a bad history ( many moons ago) as I think you also may have,  with eating disorders.
I am no way like that now, but I know I still see food as good and bad and judge myself on eating habits. I stress I do eat healthy and balanced, but I may still avoid feeling like I eat too much. I am a size 14\16 which is not so bad, and exercise as much as I  can, do light weights, but all my life I struggle to lose weight and due to my history I need to do so in a safe and steady way.

I did have some cbt which helped and I am a lot better at accepting myself even if I do also  accept I do not have a very good opinion of myself, I do know healthy is better than stupid ways to lose weight, when I did what I did when I was younger, and some of those opinions can remain.
Long answer to your valid advice! X

[CLKD]

That's OK.  Eating every 3 hours stopped those awful gut surges = nausea = stop eating completely.

My go to snacks are:

dried fruits and nuts
bananas
chocolate
ginger biscuits

Bovril in hot water
the above and as I improve with toast

chicken curry with rice. ........ eating B4 my body needs energy is important for me.  I also burn up energy quickly in the heat!