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[Witchinghour]

I'm 37 and struggling with perimenopause and the impact it's having on my marriage and my family.

None of my friends seems to be anywhere near peri so I've noone to talk about it with really.

Would be great to hear from other women of a similar age. 🤞🏼

[Flossieteacake]

I am 41 which is a bit older then you but I started HRT at 38. Apart from this forum, I do not have anybody to talk about this with either. I understand how lonely it can be.

Have you had a look at this? It is a link which is designed to show spouses which can give them more of an idea of what you are going through. It may help to show your family.
https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,2458.0.html

[Tulip123]

I started HRT last yr at age 46 but I had severe emotional symptoms which we now know was because of perimenopause and we think that all started around age 40. Nobody in my family had these severe symptoms.

My family at first did not stand by me. Everyone thought I was crazy and locked the door on me and told me to get to hospital. I sat there feeling highly distressed and abandoned on my own with no support from anyone except strangers.
I was seen by a mental health specialist and they were certain it was perimenopause. I went onto HRT and have not felt as bad since that time and I am back to where I was before all this started.

[Witchinghour]

Hi Flossie,

Thanks for taking the time to reply. It's just so miserable and lonely!

I did send that to my husband last night actually hoping to try and explain it to him.

[Witchinghour]

Tulip, that sounds dreadful. I'm sorry to hear you had no support.

I'm glad to hear you're improved. I'm grateful you took the time to reply, I've been feeling quite alone with it.

[Flossieteacake]

Hi Flossie,

Thanks for taking the time to reply. It's just so miserable and lonely!

I did send that to my husband last night actually hoping to try and explain it to him.

You are most welcome. I hope your husband will read it. It may take him time to absorb it and to want to talk to you about things.

[SarahT]

Tulip I am so upset at what happened to you.

Whilst even I was ignorant of how devastating peri can be, and the love and bewilderment of my husband no one I knew could relate to what was happening to me.

Am glad you are on this forum surrounded by women who can understand and support you. X

[Clovie]

Makes me angry how women are sometimes treated even in this day and age!

I for one thought I was actually going crazy at the time my symptoms started. I'm surprised I'm still married, my poor husband, and my poor kids too.


Back in history, women were sent to asylums for being 'mad'
Even in the 50s there was a generation of  middle aged women on tranquillizers
If you think about it, that is what 'Witches' were - poor bewildered middle aged women suffering with perimenopause.

We can only hope that going forwards there is a lot more help and support as the years go on for what is potentially c50% of the population!

[Tulip123]

Tulip I am so upset at what happened to you.

Whilst even I was ignorant of how devastating peri can be, and the love and bewilderment of my husband no one I knew could relate to what was happening to me.

Am glad you are on this forum surrounded by women who can understand and support you. X

Thanks Sarah, this forum has definitely helped. It was a bit worse than I said in my last post, as I still find it too upsetting and traumatic.

 My relatives called the police saying I was going crazy (no assaults or anything), and they asked the police if they could they take me to a hospital.
The police told them to lock me out of my own house (I was out but on my way home when they phoned the police).

I got home and my relatives wouldn't let me in my house. I think my in-laws were behind it. They were in my house at the time. I just drove to hospital myself. I had nowhere to go and nobody to help.

The police visited me while I was waiting at the hospital and were very polite to me. I suppose they had no choice as I was hysterically crying.

My family are sorry for what happened to me and say they just wanted to force to me get help, but I struggle to get over it all. It's been a year now. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

[SarahT]

Tulip Clovis says it all.

Too much ignorance from the past, even the very recent past still lingers. Peri and meno as we know have so many symptoms, many of which are emotional as well as the physical.

Clovie thought she was going crazy, and my own first list on here was because I thought I was going mad.

You are such a strong person to be living through this. At best I could say your own family was misguided, but I feel for you being treated like that.

Glad to see you on this forum

[Losingtheplot]

I started HRT last yr at age 46 but I had severe emotional symptoms which we now know was because of perimenopause and we think that all started around age 40. Nobody in my family had these severe symptoms.

My family at first did not stand by me. Everyone thought I was crazy and locked the door on me and told me to get to hospital. I sat there feeling highly distressed and abandoned on my own with no support from anyone except strangers.
I was seen by a mental health specialist and they were certain it was perimenopause. I went onto HRT and have not felt as bad since that time and I am back to where I was before all this started.

How awful! Bless you sounds like you went through such a horrific time. I hope your family felt thoroughly ashamed at how they treated you. Thank fully you had the strength to get the help you needed. You sound a very strong person and I am so pleased HRT is helping you. I have also been through a bad time recently and got a whole heap of symtoms of peri at same time. Since I started my 2nd lot of HRT ( 1st HRT was  sequential Evorel 50 suited me fine it was Evorel conti for latter 2 weeks that hit me.badly with horrendous side effects)and meds initially to help with some.emotional issues anxiety and panic attacks out of blue I feel I have come thru the otherside slowly but things have improved big hugs hunni xxx

[Losingtheplot]

I'm 37 and struggling with perimenopause and the impact it's having on my marriage and my family.

None of my friends seems to be anywhere near peri so I've noone to talk about it with really.

Would be great to hear from other women of a similar age. 🤞🏼

Hey hunni this forum is great for ladies all supporting each other. I am 47 but do feel starting getting peri symptoms around 40 but seemed manageable but as time has gone on symptoms got worse and started to affect my life. One of my friends got peri symptoms aged 35

[Cassie]

Hi I started menopause at 38 and joined this forum at age 40. Have been on the Oestrogel and Utrogestan since then and its changed my life. You really do need to take something to protect your bones etc being so young. Hope you can find yourself a good and sympathetic consultant who can assist you. This forum really is so helpful and I am sure you will find all the encouragement you need.

[CLKD]

 

The daisy website may be a useful lookC too .  Let us know how you get on.  Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use to chart progress.

Browse round.   Make notes.

[DottyD68]

Tulip123,

It makes me so sad to hear of your experiences.

My sister-in-law has had some mental health issues most of her adult life. She is 62 now. When she was about 50 she had a really bad episode and was sectioned. She was diagnosed with bi-polar at that point which I do think she has. However I clearly remember her saying at that time that she was really scared but she didn't know what she was scared of. At the time I couldn't relate to that, but it stuck with me.

Having never had mental health issues myself suddenly feeling scared or having an impending doom sensation in my early 50s makes me believe that her issues at that time were menopausal. Sadly it was all put down to her being "mad". Her parents are of an era where any of this stuff is not discussed which is terrible and she never got close family support (It isnt helped by her living miles away from everyone and her having difficult relationships before this episode). We need to recognise that these mental symptoms can be, and probably are part of the menopause.

A female GP I had a few years ago, who was the same age as me, was really good to talk to about how difficult this stage of life is. She told me that a 100 years ago most women didnt live past their mid 50s and many women who did were "put away". So we're doing pretty well keeping going on these days.

It is so important that we talk about this. I really admire you for your post. I have good friends and family and such a supportive and understanding husband but I also think it can be such a lonely time as we navigate through this period of our lives.

Sending you very best wishes. Keep strong X