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[Natalie85]

Hi I’m Nat. 38 years old and didn’t think I’d have to worry/ think about the menopause just yet. We were trying for a baby for 5 years with no luck. Tests confirmed I’m not ovulating and in fect started the menopause. I feel like I’m grieving for a child I didn’t have.

[Flossieteacake]

Hello Natalie and welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear this. I started going through peri in my late 30's too. I can imagine what a shock this is for you and my heart goes out to you.

[CLKD]

Of course you are grieving.  Your GP should be able to direct you to a support group .  Or the Consultant over-seeing any treatment that you required to encourage ovulation etc..

Peri-menopause can creep up. 

Would SANDS be the group to contact initially?  In the meantime, which symptoms bother you the most?   

[Natalie85]

Hello Flossieteacake and CLKD. Nice to meet you both. I honestly don’t know what I should be doing. My dr has referred me to see a specialist but won’t advise me on anything further until I’ve been seen by this specialist. The waiting list is 9months so I feel so alone and I don’t know where to start. I’ve called the specialist team asking for a cancellation appointment but they said everyone is in the same boat so I just have to be patient and wait.
The one person I thought I’d have at a time like this is my mum, who has dementia and no longer recognises anyone.
I can go several months without a period. I’m not ovulating at all. I get sickness around the times I should be ovulating each month, I ache all over each day. Mood swings and irritability is off the scale. Brian fog and difficulty stringing words together on the spot for the past 3 years, just thought it was an anxiety thing but I’ve now come to realise it’s more common that I thought. My partner just reminds me I should be thankful for what I have got but my heart aches, it feels so unfair. Every woman in my entire family who’s been thro it has fallen pregnant when they started. They all call it their last miracle. I haven’t had that and it hurts. I’ve read about treatments that help but dr won’t prescribe anything or advise. I don’t know where to turn.

[Flossieteacake]

What kind of specialist has your Dr referred you too? Is it a menopause specialist? It sounds like your Dr is not being supportive at all. It is hard not having anybody in your life to discuss this with.

The brain fog, mood swings and anxiety could be helped with HRT if you wanted to try it. I started HRT at 38 myself.

It sounds like this has come as a huge shock to you and I think a support group or counselling could really help. The daisy network are an organisation which specialist in women with premature ovarian insufficiency with advice on what to do after getting the diagnosis.

[SarahT]

Hi Natalie,

Whilst I cannot even begin to understand the utter grief you feel I just wanted to welcome you and assure you that you will find so much support and advice from many on here, as Flossie and CLKD have already begun.

whilst this forum covers menopause and all the related difficulties that can bring, there are so many threads on here to help anyone of us.
In some ways you are grieving not just the loss of your much wanted baby, as is your partner too,  but also your mum, the person she was, who you could still be a child with no matter your age. Your hurt is a very intense and ' real'  feeling.

 I just wanted to say hello and to welcome you Natalie.

Xx

[CLKD]

You R grieving.  In a way your partner is correct, but that doesn't take away your personal hurt.  Often men don't feel the same as women, though they need to talk too.

Is your Mum getting support?  It is difficult when the person you thought would 'be there' has disappeared. 

Which specialist has your GP suggested?  Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use to charge progress.  Peri menopause (the change) can throw up some difficulties or none at all.  Periods wax and wane: flushes sometimes; mood changes, dry skin, vagina, aches and pains as hormone levels rise and fall.

Keep posting.