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[tambolady]

Hi lovely’s hope you are all well I am struggling a lot lately with mood swings and to be honest it scary I have been in HRT patches and tablets first three months but my mental health is a mess  my family are really suffering I will be going to drs tomorrow for review hopefully, does anyone have any advice I could say to the drs please thanks for taking the time to read.

[SarahT]

Hi sweetie,

Am sorry you are having such a bad time, from experience I do know this affects us so badly and those around us.

Do have a look at the Advice for husband's, print it off and show it to your nearest and dearest, as much of the Advice is applicable to other family members, partners, friend etc. Gives them an idea of what you are feeling and going through.

You are not at fault! Hormones, peri and me now  can give physical and mental symptoms too.

I have recently realised my own mental health takes a massive dip on the days leading up to when my period would be due. (Have mirena coil so that mostly stops an actual bleed) but I do get the very bad pms symptoms, and therefore become the bitch from hell at this point in my cycle.

Maybe you have noticed these moods worsen at certain times of your own cycle? I have only just learned that peri can worsen pms and pmdd.

Take some simple.notes to your appt, just one word notes,so you don't miss anything you want to say,and so you  don't end up like me, rambling on.

Ask about tweaking your hrt dose of the Dr feels this would help.

Many women find the progesterone part of hrt hard to tolerate. Ask about alternatives if this may affect you. I believe some women are ok taking this vaginally, off the mirena coil may work. A Dr should know what options out there.

Explain just how much this is affecting your life.

Try to keep calm (I cried on my appt last Fri, so know easier said then done) and take your time.

Many women have to tweak their hrt regime to get the right dose for their needs. Frustrating, but there are options out there.

Also, know you are not alone in feeling like this. The mental side of peri is absolutely the worse for me. I have tweaked hrt several times, I have referred myself for talking therapy to help me cope.

There will always be someone on this forum who can offer practical advice, or just as equally important, understanding and support.

I have just been through exactly the same myself last week, and had some wonderful advice  from others too.
Good luck, and do let us know how you get on. Xx

[tambolady]

hi lovely thanks for the reply, just sobbed while reading, its so hard to explane i have suffered with my mental health for a long time on and off but this is something new, i have my hubby and 5 children youngest 14 (lovely hormonal child) i know they try but i feel that no one cares at all i feel so lonely and you are right it is usud to be just before my period  no its both before and after i really dip to the point i am so scared that i dont know what i will do i have wanted to run away from home (sounds silly now im reading it) i just want it to stop now thanks again hunny really means a lots xxx

[jillydoll]

Hi
It does take awhile for hrt to work. It did with me anyway.
I felt like running away too. My brain was so messed up with bad thoughts and rage.
You've just got to hang on in there, my GP offered me antidepressants, but I refused as I knew it was hormal and not depression., although some ladies take both hrt and antidepressants to help them. With success too.
Talk to the GP. Especially if they're a good nice one. They're few and far between. 
Good luck. Keep posting. Your not alone.
Xx

[SarahT]

I too have suffered with mental health,but this is beyond anything. So many women on here see this too, and anxiety ramps up too.

 Get the wanting to run away, in a tiny way I do just that. At my worse, if I have the energy I go for a walk, always on my own. I stomp angrily along, sometimes crying, and mullin it  all over in my head. And it helps. Exercise does help. Would you be able to try this or something similar in your life style? It doesn't cure things, but it helps me.

Last week, at my worse, I was sobbing at my husband begging him to make it stop, that I just couldn't do this anymore. Poor man.

This week,I feel better. On my drs advice I  have increased my patch. And I have the option of adding anti anxiety drugs only when my period would be due and my moods get horrific. Maybe something you could ask about? Dr may ask you to increase your hrt first, and see if  that helps.

I am trying to understand my cycle as it is now, and trying to accept some days of weeks I will be okayish, and other time I will be a physical and mental mess. But I am beginning to see more good days where I feel like me again.

You are stronger than you may feel right now. You are reaching out here, and making a positive move in speaking to your dr.

You are not alone sweetie. It's a Crap time I know, but just look at some of these posts, without overwhelming yourself. There will always be someone who understands. Xx

[CLKD]

U R not alone.  Perimenopause is ups and downs as hormones rise and fall.  Finding a regime which works most of the month can initially be Trial and Error. Even knowing that those symptoms will disappear isn't much help when you are 'in that zone'.

5 children, all old enough to help around the house.  Get them to sit down 2gether to decide a rota which they are capable of.  No parental input ;-).  Swapping each week so that no one gets bogged down with 'stuff' they don't like.  OK: so they leave their clothing around the house until it's 'really needed today'.  Tuff.  Give them each a wash box (if U haven't already) or, a wash box near the machine 4 each to sort whites/coloureds/jeans into ........ perhaps a note for each to decide what they will need in 3 days time?

Running away: yep, at my worst with anxiety I wanted to disappear.  A hotel with room service and a bath would have done for a few nights.  How much 'me' time do you get? 

Take a list to your GP appt. to work through.  Let us know how you get on.

[Losingtheplot]

Hi lovely’s hope you are all well I am struggling a lot lately with mood swings and to be honest it scary I have been in HRT patches and tablets first three months but my mental health is a mess  my family are really suffering I will be going to drs tomorrow for review hopefully, does anyone have any advice I could say to the drs please thanks for taking the time to read.

Hi Hunni

Big big big hugs.

I totally empathise and have and do feel exactly as you describe.  It really is scary when our mental health dips.  And you sound like a very strong person reaching out for help and advice as when we struggle it is very hard to do this.  So well done xxxx

It is very important that your family understand that all of this is out of your control you poor thing and that you are trying to help yourself but are finding things tough at the minute like we all do.  So the advice about printing off the advice for husbands from another lovely lady may be the way to go. 

I had a really bad time with my mental health lately again I feel all to do with the dips in hormones.  Things will improve.  Do discuss Ad's as an option alongside anti anxiety meds - the latter have helped me with physical symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks.  Also is there an option to be referred to a Meno specialist by your GP ?

xxxxxx

[CLKD]

I get sudden dips in mood even when I feel OK.  A flashback or sudden energy requirement often causes me to feel low. 

[flutterby]

Hi Tambolady sorry to hear you’re having a rough time.
It’s a while since I was on HRT but I would make a list of things to ask and don’t let them rush you when you get in to see them
Maybe ask
How long should I wait before changing what I’m on
What else is available
Have you thought of taking something to combat how you’re feeling,mental health wise
I struggled with anxiety off and on until I was in my late 60s and realised I did need to take something
However all these should be your choice
Hope you get sorted and soon start to feel better
Flutterby x
PS just noticed post is on twice, apologies for any duplication

[SarahT]

One thing I have felt hardest to accept is I simply cannot do the things I used to do. Can no longer multi task, physically or mentally. Am very slow, especially if it is a bad week, joint pain wise.
So asking family to help around the house seems great advice. Well out CKLD. They're not gonna like it... In most  households it is common for one person to take on most of the caring of family and housework.

But tambolady,  they will need to understand,and you will have to realise that at the moment you have to put yourself first. You need some medical help to get you the best you can be.

We are all rooting for you. Wish you well for your appt. X

[CLKD]

If there is resistance ask your DH to pay for a cleaner 3 times a week ;-).  Also, if you were in Hospital ........ or if you had a broken limb .........

[tambolady]

Hi loves you have no idea what these messages have actually done for me,or maybe you do its a lonely place. but all i can say is thankyou a million times thankyou it is a rotten place to be, i will be taking a lot of advice you have all given me and i will use it. my mother in law and everyone i have asked all seemed to have sailed through with very little problem which made me think i was actually going mad. my first stop is the Dr tomorrow fingers crossed i get a appointment, as i work nights i will make on the school run in the morning. thanks again loves its been great i will keep you updated on progress, and hopefully i can help someone one day like you have all helped me much love to you all xxxx

[CLKD]

If there is a Nurse Practitioner you could see her, especially if the GP appts are difficult to access.  Let us know how you get on.  My nausea at any time of day is due to my body being hungry [recovering anorexic who often doesn't recognise hunger ].  I mis-interpret my feelings 

[jillydoll]

Good luck for tomorrow. 😉

[CLKD]

   SarahT