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[KaraShannon]

Hi all

Since I've been ill (now 90% better) I keep waking at 5 and 6 am.  That's normal get up time for some but not me, I have to work evenings for part of the week, so that's really too early for me.

Patches are the same as always.  I did reduce the oestrogen about 5 months ago. 

I find when I'm on the oestrogen patch I sleep more deeply, but I still usually sleep ok on the combined patch.  I took at sleeping pill at 6am this morning in frustration because once I wake I won't go back to sleep and then I'd have been exhausted by mid day and I have fatigue issues anyway.

Just feel off.  I don't like where I live anymore.  Also now I'm better everyone seems to be coming at me with expectations again so it's all running around doing what they want, and I'm not talking about kids here.  A friend even said I had a 'good break' while I was ill!!!!  I was so ill I was worried about my life, it was no break at all.

Sorry, I'm just wiped out and stressed out and it's pouring with rain and grey skies.

How's everyone else doing?

[jaypo]

Cortisol rushes are very common in the early hours and have a habit of waking us,sometimes with anxiety or a buzzing feeling,could it be that do you think? It sounds if your mood is quite low,so an other indication that your hormones are shifting x

[KaraShannon]

Sorry you're feeling down, it can be a miserable time with what nature throws at us without our nearest and dearest being less than supportive on top.

Sometimes we need to simply disappoint them and then once you have their attention explain that you can't do all the work you used to do, you need more rest than before and sit down.

It's the theory of putting your own air mask on before you help others. Look after you, we all need to.

Thanks Poppytoast

These people don't live with me, and I need a lot more space than they realise.  One of them thinks I've had space because I was ill for 2 weeks.  That was my space.   

[KaraShannon]

Cortisol rushes are very common in the early hours and have a habit of waking us,sometimes with anxiety or a buzzing feeling,could it be that do you think? It sounds if your mood is quite low,so an other indication that your hormones are shifting x

Thanks Jaypo

I don't know, no anxiety, no other feelings, just wide awake.  It would be ok if I stayed like that all day and into the evening when I'm sometimes working, but no, I'd be a zombie by mid day.  I just don't want to be awake that early.

I know probably a decade ago if something woke me I would just turn over and go back to sleep, I found waking up very hard.  A neighbour once asked me if the noise here woke me up in the morning and I said it did but it didn't bother me because I'd go straight back to sleep.  She said I was lucky.

I just wish my body would at least go back to sleep until it's had what it needs. 

Maybe it's just been worse this week because I've been ill.

Just hope it's not the oestrogen reduction.  Apparently I really needed to reduce it because it was way too high and I do feel better on less, no migraine etc.  Time to chase up the blood test.

[jaypo]

Sadly through meno our sleep pattern can change,I'm exactly how you used to be,wake at stupid o'clock but just turn around and fall back to sleep,now?! Nope,if I wake at 6am that's me AWAKE.Have you tried magnesium? Or a vit d supplement? Since being diagnosed with osteopenia,I've been taking vit d with calcium and I've been sleeping really well,like 7 hours a night

[CLKD]

With regards others - saying 'no' gets easier the more we practice!  When asked to do anything for someone: I was the 'go to' person for years  : I now tell them that I have to 'consult our calendar in case DH has put something for the same date'.  After a while they learnt that actually, that meant a 'no' 

'they' have managed without you KaraShannon - so harden your heart.  Say 'no' for a few months - make suggestions as to appropriate agencies, charities, other groups that 'will help'.  "I suggest that whilst I continue to recover, that you approach X, Y, Z".  If 'they' continue nagging at you to problem solve, then 'Which bit of NO don't you get?'  That has worked for me thus far ;-).

Put foot down with firm hand.  U need to build up your own energy levels, because we are 'out and about in public' doesn't mean that we are 'up and running'.  U could also say that 'some private conditions aren't obvious '.  It isn't up to others to judge, but they will do until .....

[KaraShannon]

Thanks for all the good advice here, really appreciated.  I'll see how things go.

[DottyD68]

Hi Karashannon,

Sorry to hear you are feeling ropey.

Have you tried any meditation apps or sound apps on Alexa? I frequently use the sleepcast apps on Headspace to get off to sleep or if I wake in the small hours. It really does the trick. My husband has tinnitus (after covid) so we play rain, thunder or sea sounds each night on Alexa and that really helps too.

In terms of other people it is now time to look after yourself. I have really had to try to take a step back from the meeting the needs of others (which has been really hard) just to prevent myself from feeling overwhelmed. It feels like some sort of failure but I've now got past that. Someone told me a great analogy. Its like you are the life raft keeping everyone else afloat. But the life raft itself needs to stay afloat and if you have too many people or too much weight clinging on it, you all go under. We all need to manage that life raft. Dont feel bad about limiting how much you take on.

Look after yourself x