Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Overwhelmed23]

I’m really struggling at the moment, I’ve been on hrt for about 2 years as went into menopause prematurely at 38. While the hrt has knocked hot flushes on the head and I can sleep better my mental health is rock bottom and I have no sex drive at all which though my husband says he understands is ruining my marriage. I hate it, I feel no joy ib my life and am suicidal but so far have stopped myself because of the kids. I plaster on a smile and am pretty certain other people woukd see me as quite a positive person but it is a daily struggle to even get out of bed.
The hrt clinic have said I’m on everything they can give me-oestrogel, utrogestan and testosterone gel 3times a week but nothing helps. I just feel like I am now counting down the days until I die.
I am following every piece of advice I can that is suppose to help but all it does is make me feel even more drained, eating a balanced diet, plenty of b vitamins and lean protein, oily fish etc etc, taking my recommended supplements running three times a week and daily exercise, I even started the daily cold showers to see if that would help. And I have been doing these things consistently so it’s not like I’ve done them a month or two and given up when they don’t show instant results.
Is this it? Is this what life now is until I die?

[CLKD]

Nope.  Hormones can cause lots of upheaval!

Some find that keeping a mood/food/diary of use, when I was severely depressed each evening I would make a list of things that I needed to do the next day. Ticking off I could see what I had achieved which helped me not to worry about what I hadn't done each day.

Which menopause clinic have you been to?  You can also look at the Daisy web-site, set up for premature menopause.   How old R U?

After 2 years it may be that your HRT needs a tweak or a change to a different replacement.  R U able to list what you have tried so that those who R familiar with what is available can comment.

Also: listen to your husband.  He 'understands' that you are not yourself.  Do print off 'advice for husbands' from the Forum to read.   Your take on 'ruining my marriage' is depression!

Have u been offered anti-depressant medication?  HRT isn't always the most help.

[Flossieteacake]

Welcome to the forum Overwhelmed. I am so very sorry to hear how you are feeling. Like you, I started perimenopause at 38. You mentioned the HRT you are on but did not say if you are using localised oestrogen for vaginal atrophy?

Have you tried a different progesterone to ultrogestan because I am wondering if this is causing your low mood. Quite often it can be the progesterone that causes suicidal feelings. Many women are intolerant to it and it could be a different one would suit you more.

Like CLKD says, your husband will understand. You cannot help how you are feeling. Your body is going through all sorts of changes right now and it is bound to be adding to your low mood.

Things will not always be like this. It is a shock to go into menopause as we do not know what to expect and (for me anyway) we may not even know what it involves.

Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling because it sounds like you could do with some support for your mental health.

You are not alone on here. This forum is so supportive and there will always be somebody to listen to on here.

[Overwhelmed23]

I was on antidepressants but I came off them because I just felt numb and spacey and found they just made the brain fog worse which was initially one of my worst symptoms. I was also hoping coming off them would help with the lack of sex drive.
I’m on oestrogel (4 pumps a day-2 morning and 2 night) and 2 utrogestan 12 days a month, my mood is definitely much worse when on the utrogestan. The testosterone has helped a little with brain fog but not sex drive. I swing between feeling really  annoyed at everything and incredibly low, I also am finding that some symptoms which had eased initially are now coming back, itching all over, awful tension headaches and memory problems and anxiety. I was diagnosed as being in premature menopause having not had a period for almost a year at 38 and am now 40, I suspect I was perimenopausal for a couple of years before that as i had postnatal depression after my youngest child which it felt like I never really recovered from, she was born several years before I was diagnosed.

[Flossieteacake]

I was on antidepressants but I came off them because I just felt numb and spacey and found they just made the brain fog worse which was initially one of my worst symptoms. I was also hoping coming off them would help with the lack of sex drive.
I’m on oestrogel (4 pumps a day-2 morning and 2 night) and 2 utrogestan 12 days a month, my mood is definitely much worse when on the utrogestan. The testosterone has helped a little with brain fog but not sex drive. I swing between feeling really  annoyed at everything and incredibly low, I also am finding that some symptoms which had eased initially are now coming back, itching all over, awful tension headaches and memory problems and anxiety. I was diagnosed as being in premature menopause having not had a period for almost a year at 38 and am now 40, I suspect I was perimenopausal for a couple of years before that as i had postnatal depression after my youngest child which it felt like I never really recovered from, she was born several years before I was diagnosed.

Thank you for explaining. I have a feeling you are not able to tolerate the ultrogestan and it would be worth trying a different progesterone. There are quite a few out there and it is not worth taking something that is causing you to want to end your life.

There are a lot of antidepressants and some do not cause that numbness but it is a matter of trying until you find the right one. I understand that can be too much while you have other things going on.

I can relate to the awful itching. I have had this and I have actually realised I am unable to tolerate certain high histamine foods. I can no longer eat banana, cheddar cheese or nuts and I used to eat those without any issues at all. Just thought I would mention this as the itching made me very low.

You may want to take localised oestrogen which is for vaginal atrophy. It helps with soreness, dryness, UTI type feelings, going to the loo all the time etc.

[Claire MM]

I can relate to these feelings and I'm so sorry you are going through this, no this is not it.

It sounds like you are taking the utrogestan orally, for me this was really difficult for my mental health and I also realised that I got terrible itching after quite a few months after taking it (particularly itchy boobs!?) Do you know that it is possible and that many women use the utrogestan capsule as a pessary off licence and only 1 capsule at night for half of their cycle instead of taking the 200 orally? I did this and mentally/emotionally/itchyness wise I was much better. It doesn't have to go through your whole system in such a high dose in this way. What I would say if you do that (and even if you don't) the estrogen pessaries/cream is a really good idea. Over time using utrogestan as a pessary without any estrogen cream etc I ended up getting uti's and uti type symptoms.

I know it feels like it sometimes but no this is not it, glad you reached out and I hope that you find support here xx

[CLKD]

Itchiness may be caused as oestrogen drops off. 

Let us know how you get on.  Many are intolerant of progesterone part of replacement. 

[CLKD]

Morning - did U sleep?

[Katherine]

Hi, I’m so sorry that you are feeling this way. I too have felt very depressed on many occasions and want to reassure you that although it may feel that way, it is never permanent. There is an answer,it’s just a case of finding it. I agree with the other ladies about utrogestan, I think you would be better taking just one capsule per day. I take utrogestan and I can just about tolerate 100mg per day. I would speak with your gp asap about this. Try to lean on those around you, let them support you, put yourself first, you need all your energy focussed on yourself right now. Sending hugs xxx

[sheila99]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Have you had your levels tested? It isn't often helpful in peri but can be in meno as it's possible you aren't absorbing as expected so your oestrogen and testosterone levels are lower than expected. It sounds to me that your oestrogen is on the low side. If  your oestrogen is low testosterone is converted so perhaps you're not getting the benefit of it. I use a 6 week cycle because I get fatigue on utro and this me more 'good' time so perhaps worth discussing with your gp. My brain still doesn't function as it used to so perhaps there are some permanent changes but it's lot better than it was before hrt.

[VanillaLover]

Sorry you are struggling and feeling bad. I’m sure life will improve for you. I would second the others in trying a different type of progesterone perhaps a patch or a mirena coil for a start.

Also I think that getting some help with your mental health as a stand alone thing would be good for you. Go to your GP and tell them what you’ve said here. What type of antidepressants have you tried? There are lots of different types. I was on one type for ten years for postnatal depression (I am like you I think and very sensitive to hormones) and they stopped working. Tried a different type and the difference was amazing. The cloud lifted. I still have difficult days but I don’t get into that spiral any more.

If you can get that little lift then maybe some CBT, counselling or other therapy can be so so helpful. If only to help you deal mentally with your physical menopause symptoms. It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut and thinking unhelpfully all the time and they can steer you into better ways.
You can self refer for CBT without needing to ask your GP. May be a wait but they ring you to assess need fairly quickly so you might not find the wait too long after all.


Hugs

vanilla x

[Overwhelmed23]

Hi all, no improvement unfortunately and still waiting for a review.  GP mentioned antidepressants last time I was in but they make me feel really flat and a bit spacey-I tried a few after my last child to find a better fit but eventually came off them. I can’t cope with anything making me feel spacey as I have trouble enough concentrating and remembering.
I’ve done cbt in the past and I still use the techniques but find them less useful since menopause. I really just feel like I’ve outlived my usefulness at this point.
Thanks for all the lovely replies.

[Nas]

I feel exactly the same.
Coupled with other medial issues, life just feels a huge struggle. Women just aren’t meant to live beyond menopause. Fact! 

[joziel]

4 pumps of gel isn't a lot for someone as young as you. Young women and especially women with pre-mature menopause often need very high amounts of estrogen to feel okay and to function. This might mean 6 pumps of gel or if the amount of gel gets too much to apply, a combo of patches and gel. Regular GPs are often reluctant to prescribe this but specialist menopause doctors are very used to prescribing it. I'd suggest making an appointment with an experienced doctor at Newson Health and having a private consult if you can afford it. Once you get settled on HRT you can get them to write to your current doctor to ask them to continue it...

Finding that your old symptoms are coming back is again a massive sign that you need more estrogen. You should be treated to address symptoms at your age - and you're not being...

Sex drive is a combo of testosterone and getting the estrogen dose right as well, it's not just about the T.

If your mood is worse on the utrogestan, have you tried using it vaginally? Often women find they don't get the mood side effects that way.

[CLKD]

Why R U still awaiting an appt.?  Is this with a Menopause Clinic or a GP? 

If with a Clinic are U able to take an emergency appt. if they get a cancellation or no show?