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Menopause Matters magazine ISSUE 81 out now. (Autumn issue, September 2025)

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Author Topic: Desperate to stop working  (Read 4723 times)

Andil

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Desperate to stop working
« on: March 09, 2023, 07:50:51 PM »

Hi All,

Hoping for some inspiring ‘recovery stories’. I’ve just started HRT (possibly should have done this earlier) but I am really struggling with work. I’m completely questioning my abilities  and I have zero concentration and energy. I honestly don’t know how I am going to keep going for another 15 years. I can’t bear the thought of fumbling along in this fog anymore. I’m the sole earner so can’t afford to stop, but I genuinely think I’m going to lose it and do something rash like quit without a safety net. I’m so exhausted and tearful (my career has been my driver all my life and now it feels like all that work was wasted). Is there anyone here with positive stories about how they turned work around after starting HRT to help me see a different outcome? Thank you!
« Last Edit: March 09, 2023, 08:22:10 PM by Andil »
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CLKD

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2023, 08:52:37 PM »

It's not wasted but peri-menopause can drain us of any energies.

Depending on what type of work you are doing, is there an HR that U could talk with, R they taking on board a menopause person?

Have u had a recent blood test to see how your body might be, i.e. ?? low vitD levels, thyroid function, aneamia, blood sugar etc.?  We have a thread: doing stupid things : U R not alone with the fuzzy head etc..

Browse round.  Make notes ;-)
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Andil

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2023, 06:40:23 AM »

Thanks CLKD. work has a menopause policy (which basically stops at ‘managers should be sensitive’) and a women’s network, but it hasn’t been active this year so no reps or support. I’ll contact the women’s network lead and see if they will re instigated, and have a look at the thread you suggested.
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sheila99

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2023, 08:52:52 AM »

Many of us have felt as bad as you do and for many, including me, hrt has been life changing. I wouldn't do anything rash until you've been on it for 3 months and see how you feel. In the meantime would it be possible to shorten your hours or take an easier role until you feel better?
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Jellyb

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2023, 09:41:33 AM »

Are you able to ask for flexible working arrangements, so that you can work from home.  When you're not feeling so confident or that you want to hide away and do things at your own pace, that could really help.
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CLKD

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2023, 09:42:25 AM »

Let us know how you get on!  MayB become the 'lead' in the group ;-) ?
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Andil

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2023, 12:13:57 PM »

Thank you everyone for your support.  SheilaB it’s a relief to hear it’s helped you and gives me hope I might regain some of my capability. Will heed your advice and hold on for three months. JellyB thanks for that suggestion - I might talk to my manager - a bit worried I’ll be seen as a write off, but it’s better than quitting. Thanks CKLD. I’ll see how I go!
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CLKD

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2023, 12:25:04 PM »

You feel that you are at present a 'write off', however, your team may have a different view point.  It's how you approach the conversation.  "I'm a bit concerned that I am lacking concentration, you will let me know won't you if I behave differently?" might be a starter - or similar.  It also depends on how much you have enjoyed your job thus far.

Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use.  Let us know how you get on.
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Dierdre

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2023, 02:54:06 PM »

I sat on a medical doughnut for 3 years as my VA was so bad, I was management but HR and my superiors were aware and why.. Eventually I had a custom made chair. You need to make HR and your line manager aware and they will need to adjust to your needs. Menopause is now recognised in the workplace so don't worry. Your HRT will sort this out, it may take a while to find the right balance for you but it will be ok and life will get better. I managed to carry on and finally retired at 66 with the help of HRT and now enjoying my retirement.
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Andil

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2023, 05:41:32 AM »

Thanks Deirdre that’s good to know! honestly if I had realised how much this had an effect on my mental capacity I might have been more prepared. Thankfully it’s becoming more talked about now.
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CLKD

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #10 on: March 27, 2023, 09:24:17 AM »

Any improvements Andil?
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Dierdre

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #11 on: March 27, 2023, 10:24:25 AM »

Thanks Deirdre that’s good to know! honestly if I had realised how much this had an effect on my mental capacity I might have been more prepared. Thankfully it’s becoming more talked about now.
I don't think anyone can really prepare for this as you never know what, if any, symptoms you will have. Knowing about it would be a great help and the more it's discussed with the younger generations instead of being taboo, would be a good start. My grandchildren know I suffer with vaginal atropy and why, they also know it's treatable and it no longer interferes with my quality of life, well most of the time.
Lots of women in high powered jobs have done very nicely with the help of HRT, Maggie Thatcher, the late Queen and her Queen Mother to mention a few.
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sheila99

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2023, 11:55:22 AM »

Sadly far more have just quietly disappeared as they couldn't cope with a high powered job and meno symptoms. Hopefully that's changing now.
My daughter knows all about it too, she was on the receiving end of my bad temper  :(.

Andil, are you seeing any improvement yet? Although my brain fog improved a lot with hrt my brain still isn't as sharp as it used to be.
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CLKD

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #13 on: March 27, 2023, 12:33:00 PM »

Deirdre  :-\  ???

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Dierdre

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Re: Desperate to stop working
« Reply #14 on: March 27, 2023, 06:11:31 PM »

Sadly far more have just quietly disappeared as they couldn't cope with a high powered job and meno symptoms. Hopefully that's changing now.
My daughter knows all about it too, she was on the receiving end of my bad temper  :(.

Andil, are you seeing any improvement yet? Although my brain fog improved a lot with hrt my brain still isn't as sharp as it used to be.

Yes hopefully change will bring a lot more support but while menopause is not treated as an illness it will still be hard to get this support in some work places. Upping the age of retirement is going to bring even more problems and not just menopausal.

I used to have a very short fuse too, thankfully it's mellowed with age and post meno, no more PMT.
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