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[petuniaclark]

57, on HRT for 2 years- 25 everol patch,& 1utrogeston tablet nightly. I found a 50 patch made me too bloated and uncomfortable. Lately I just feel meh the whole time. I dont want to do anything, no enthusiasm to even look at summer holidays. I love my part time job, but cant be bothered with it.

 My 1st child has gone to uni - very very happily - and has not looked back to the extent we never hear from them so I don't know if there is an element of adjusting to an empty nest as well?

I just feel sad about everything the whole time. What do you think? thanks

[Flossieteacake]

I think you are being hard on yourself to consider 'giving yourself a talking to'. It is understandable to miss your child and I would think that is bound to have an effect on your mood.

As a 50 patch did not suit you perhaps cutting a bit off it and going for something in between 25 and 50 may work.

Do you think counselling may be helpful? It could give you the chance to talk things through and get to the bottom of your low mood.

[CLKD]

U could give yourself a talking to - what would you hope to happen?  The Change - does what it says on the tin!  A time of adjustment which can be good unless perimenopause symptoms take over. 

U R allowed to mourn the alteration in the family dynamic.  How many left at home?  How worried R U about him/her being away?  Most of them do survive ;-)

Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use. 

[VanillaLover]

Oh I do feel for you. My eldest is nearing that age too and I am dreading him leaving already. Have been for ages! I think it’s such a big period of adjustment these years. I was upset over my youngest leaving primary school for ages…these things are such a big part of our lives. The main things really.

I’m not surprised you can’t concentrate on things like your job, planning for your holidays and suchlike. I guess you are grieving for your “loss” (though it it a happy loss in that you have obviously done your job as a Mum and brought up such a confident independent and clever son!)

Have you ever had low mood before ? Why did you start the HRT? Are you happy on the 25 patch now otherwise?
I wouldn’t rush into antiDs right now (I say this as someone who has taken them for years and years and probably will forever).

Maybe some self help books would give you perspective - empty nest is a real thing and there are bound to be books which offer some advice and comfort. If not, the suggestion of counselling or talking about it with someone might be very enlightening. There may be things on your mind about such a big life change that are worrying you which are just under the surface perhaps and weighing you down a bit.

Big hugs

[VanillaLover]

Sorry assumed you had a son there oops

[petuniaclark]

thanks all of you. started the hrt because of insomnia, but to be honest it hasnt made much difference- still awake for an hour or 2 in the middle of most nights. that obviously isnt helping things either !!

[Ecl]

Hi Petunia,

Gosh I’m trying not to think of when my firstborn heads to Uni, he is 17 now and just got his first Saturday job. I even worry about that! I don’t think you need antidepressants or a good talking to, I think you need to be kinder to yourself.
Re the HRT, I developed bloating and horrid abdominal pain hen I started, it lasted 4-5 months. Then returned when I had covid, and again when I changed from gel to patch and upped the dose. GP wanted me to increase again to 75patch and so I have done it slowly, initially went to about 62, then 70 and tomorrow will go to 75, and this time I haven’t yet had any pain, so just to say if you did want to increase, a slow and steady increase may be better.