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[lisa06031510]

Hey guys,

So I had a hysterectomy in January 2020 at age of 36 and I struggled getting the correct amount of HRT and that causes a massive, scary mental breakdown in August 2021... Since the then I have managed to get correct HRT and now on 125mg patches...
But I have changed sooo much, I was always so hot headed and cried all the time and had no issues expressing my feelings but now I don't feel anything. I haven't cried in 5 months and I don't deal with any problems. So things that I need to sort and may cause me stress I just avoid... Sounds weird but it's like my brain won't allow me to get stressed or upset. Has anyone experienced this???

[Flossieteacake]

Hello Lisa. Are you on any antidepressants? Often they can cause this reaction.

On the other hand, you have been through a very frightening and distressing time. When exposed to such trauma our brains can try to protect us by 'shutting down'. The numbness can be a coping method to get us through stressful situations. Could this be what you are experiencing?

[lisa06031510]

Nope no anti depressants... I've been lucky to avoid having to go on them

Yeah that's exactly what I'm experiencing... I tried to Google it to see if was normal after a breakdown but nothing came up... I feel like I need a really big cry but just can't lol... I mean not being so hot headed is Def a good thing haha but I feel I've changed sooo much this last year

[Flossieteacake]

Nope no anti depressants... I've been lucky to avoid having to go on them

Yeah that's exactly what I'm experiencing... I tried to Google it to see if was normal after a breakdown but nothing came up... I feel like I need a really big cry but just can't lol... I mean not being so hot headed is Def a good thing haha but I feel I've changed sooo much this last year

I would say this is very normal. It sounds like you are in self preservation mode. It is almost like you are afraid to 'feel' so you stop yourself from feeling anything. Did you ever have any therapy after the breakdown?

[lisa06031510]

Yeah I think you are right .. it's just so odd. I do fear having another breakdown as I was so close to doing something silly last time, so could just be fear

Ummm I had some about 9 months after but I didn't find it helpful to be fair...

[Katherine]

Hi Lisa, I’m sorry to hear what you have been through. I have been through similar feelings and therapy is what worked for me. But it took a while to find the right one. I saw many who I felt didn’t help before I found someone who did. It is well worth persevering with. Don’t lose hope because there will be someone who is right for you if you want to try it.

[lisa06031510]

Aww I'm glad it helped you.

I don't think it's for me, I feel ok just scared and would love to be able to feel again, but surely I won't be like this forever???

[Flossieteacake]

I agree with  Katherine. I imagine you will need some support in allowing yourself to feel again and it may not just come back.

Perhaps you did not get with the therapist or it was not a therapy that suits you. Maybe one say you will feel like trying it again.

[CLKD]

Hormones can cause great upheavals.  Dr Dalton did a lot of research and studies with regards about PMT , she represented women in Court that had committed murder during their pre-menstrual hours.

The National Association for PreMenstrual Syndrome - NAPS - might offer support and give advice. 

Hysterectomy is major surgery.  Consultants rarely give HRT advice prior to surgical intervention, nor do they follow up enough !!  Your whole system may be in shock, it may be a form of PTSD.  A therapist au fait with this would be essential.

...... and breath.  Some find that yoga or meditation helps.  'me' time.  Swimming?  Gentle walking? 

MIND have walk-in centres if you feel you need somewhere 'to be' if you feel unsafe.  They also kept in touch with me when my friend died suddenly, I didn't get to the office but they sent regular e-mail updates.

We are here and listening!

[lisa06031510]

Oh no, I am sorry to hear about your friend.

I mean do I just accept I'm this emotionless woman now or do you think it will start to come back ...

I mean I used to cry at adverts, and now nothing... I do think that hormones played a massive part of me being hot headed as I am sooo calm now x

[Flossieteacake]

Oh no, I am sorry to hear about your friend.

I mean do I just accept I'm this emotionless woman now or do you think it will start to come back ...

I mean I used to cry at adverts, and now nothing... I do think that hormones played a massive part of me being hot headed as I am sooo calm now x

Perhpas your hormones are more stable now. If you feel very calm that sounds nice but if it is more numb then I would think you may be supressing emotions.

[lisa06031510]

Yeah the numbness is sooo weird, like I don't feel anything

[Flossieteacake]

Yeah the numbness is sooo weird, like I don't feel anything

Do you like the numbness? It can be comforting to me.

[Katherine]

Hi Lisa, you cannot lose your innate capacity to feel, you are just kind of disconnected from it. I think your feelings may have just got so ‘big’ that you have stepped back from them. when you are in the midst of things you can feel like you are stuck and that nothing will help. But your ability to feel emotions is part of you and you just need a therapeutic relationship to guide you. But it would need to be the right person which you will find if you are determined. It is gradual with small steps but it’s so worth it when you feel change happening and gives you confidence you are on the right path. X

[CLKD]

My Anti-depressants make me unable to cry ........... not much sets me off these days 

The brain has a good way of protecting us.  Do U get any exercise on a regular basis?  Trying to find 1 thing each day: a dew drop on a leaf for example.  Take time to smell the roses has some truth, in that it makes us focus for a few moments.  Doesn't matter if we 'feel' or not .......... it's taking time to look at something for a while.