Hi Nellie noo,
Hope you don’t mind my input. Firstly, man-child - I totally get that.
I’ve been married 42 years and have had chronic ill health throughout. When I met my husband he was kind, loving, very hard working, very outgoing always the first to party etc whereas I was the quiet one. Even now if I’m out without him people don’t recognise me. In the marriage I did the worrying and all the boring stuff - money, bills, problems - he did nothing like that, partly my fault as i liked to be in control of something in my life.
7 years ago catastrophic surgical complications during hysterectomy left me disabled, he changed or maybe I saw a different side. He became resentful of my illness and the restraints it put on him, he suddenly had to help with all the boring stuff and boy did he complain . I wanted him to drop anchor and be there for me and in many ways he was, but there was no empathy. Mind you my disability is rare and a nightmare - no holidays, sex or meals together - very long story.
I’ve considered leaving as I no longer need a man-child, I want to be looked after now. Like you , the thought terrifies me . We still have some nice times, we laugh sometimes until we cry, he’s great with our grandchildren, still kind and generous, but no empathy , no emotional connection - it’s sometimes very lonely in a house full of noise, his noise.
We are working through, he is trying to change. But as I worry about my next op which may well kill me he’s planning a rugby tour with his mates. I don’t get that .
Thinking of you , please let us know how things go. It’s easier to stay than walk in many ways but life really is too short to be unhappy all the time x do you ever feel content with life, with him ?
