Sazzle42115, i also have intrusive thoughts that are sometimes so bad, i think is it worth living in this nightmare?
I have been seeing this amazing psychologist who finally got me to stop engaging in my thoughts. It is very hard to not engage with them as they're very powerful & consuming.
I just tell myself, i am NOT my thoughts. My thoughts are not my truths. I don't try to stop them as you just can't. The more you try, the harder it is. So i allow the thoughts but then I'll do something like sing, or get outside. I also have mild OCD connected to my thoughts & I've stopped checking & rechecking as it becomes a continuous cycle.