Dear Kathleen,
My heart goes out to you. I know how much you have invested in this and it must seem all the greater a disappointment as a result. I suppose my concern is that some of these clinics may be getting too "big" and their original promises of being especially interested in more complex cases, dealing holistically with people etc etc seem to be no longer as important to them.
Frankly? I feel it's shocking to be left high and dry with nothing to hold on to till June. In your shoes, I would be profoundly resenting the money spent for no progress in the most important aspect of this journey, having as decent and consistent a quality of life as possible. This can't happen when plagued by anxiety.
As we know, everyone has their unique experience on here and I would not feel comfortable or confident about suggesting or recommending an HRT/AD course of action which may not suit you or cause you further harm.
I think, therefore, some detective work to ask of your practice manager if there is a gp with recent training in menopause management or a special interest in this field. Then, if one exists, book a double appointment, face-to-face (insist on this) with this person and just use the time as well as you can to determine if they have what it takes to determine a way forward for you. If you don't get that "vibe" and you can ask if your case is too complex for them at this point, ask to be referred to an NHS specialist clinic. This is your entitlement and what these provisions are for. Take a friend with you to the gp if that would help. Again, you are entitled to request this or just show up with them! They cannot turn them away.
It strikes me, from what you describe, that not only have you exhausted the scope of NH, but, more importantly, the exasperation is exhausting you.
Take heart, my friend. Seize this opportunity to take control and look to the resources you have, as the beautiful being you are, to line your pockets with self-love and self-care, not those of NH! Go well.
