Bear with me, this is a long one....
At age 40, periods started going into overdrive, bleeding constantly, super depressed and up and down, hot flushes, severe night sweating, swollen joints in my hands/wrist, headaches, brain fog. Blood tests = peri menopause. GP no.1 was nuetral about HRT, didn't really offer any advice either way, told me to look on the internet. I knew nothing about it, said I would research it, she gave me a low dose 10mg Fluoxetine daily which stopped the night sweats. After a year, it stopped working, she double the dose to 20mg. Still bleeding a lot, decided to ask for HRT. BEST THING EVER but she told me I could only have it for 5 years. She gave me Femoston 1mg for a year, then upped it to 2mg tablets when syptoms started coming back. After 4 years, I tried to come off it as I knew it was coming up to 5 years.... and struggled - symptoms were even harder. I was on femaston for about 4 years when I saw GP no. 2 because I had fractured by elbow falling off the back step and I mentioned I was struggling with meno symptoms - she said "why have you stopped taking it, it's MADE for people like you". I told her GP no. 1 said I could only have it for 5 years, she said "RUBBISH". Get back on it if it makes you feel better.

So get back on it I did. The monthly bleed started to get heavier and heavier, to the point where I was doubled over in pain for the first 3 days of the cyle every month and I literally couldn't move - the clots were huge and no amount of pads & tampons could soak it up fast enough. I came off it again.... symptoms came back just as hard as before. Every time I came off the HRT, the bleeding would stop, completely and utterly - then I get to about 9 to 10 months OFF HRT and I feel like I am going completely insane. SO, went back to the doctors, now age 47, no bleeding for 10 months, saw GP no.3 told her I only came off HRT because of the bleeding, could I PLEASE get on one that doesn't involve a monthly bleed? She said no - but we can give you something for the pain. SO I went back on the femoston 2mg & 2 months later I am on the bathroom floor at 3am trying not to scream. Rang the GP, they said take paracetamol & ibuprofen. I asked again if there was an alternative HRT - was told no. Carried on like this for 2 years, then last year the pain was so bad I almost called an ambulance. For period pain.

By now, GP's aren't seeing anyone face to face - rang doctors and spoke to the lovely GP no.2 - she immediately told me to stop taking the femoston and gave me patches, the bleeding changed from all out war to a light, weird brown stringy stuff - an improvement! Sent me for a pelvic scan which said womb lining was 8mm, then demanded the gynae department saw me as an emergency which was a little bit OTT, but she sure gets things done! Gynae did a biopsy, results said I had hyper plasia? And was told to stop ALL HRT immediately until we figure out what is going on and what is causing the thickening. Gynae booked me in with PMB Clinic for urgent hysteroscopy a week later. I got to the clinic, they did a biopsy and no hysteroscopy because "Mr XXXX" gynae doesn't know what he is doing and hates this department because we are better at our job than he is"

Also mentioned that the patches do commonly cause the brown stringy bleed. I asked why just a biopsy again, they said that he didn't get enough "material" the first time to get a good result. Which was confusing, because he HAD a result. SO, then the results of the 2nd biopsy are "clear" and I wait for a telephone appointment with Gynae - GP no.2 refuses to let me have HRT until Gynae says I can go back on it. SO, 3 months later, Gynae phones me, says OK, we have the result of your 2nd biopsy and hysteroscopy and everything looks fine, you can go back on HRT, you can have the continual HRT that desn't cause monthly bleeding, talk to your doctor about the options.... Me; wait, what hysteroscopy? I didn't have one? Gynae: oh yes you did. Me: I know I didn't. I was there, legs akimbo buddy, there was no hysteroscopy undertaken, just the 2nd biopsy. GYnae is not a happy man, says he asked for a hysteroscopy, doesn't know why they didn't do it.... Me: So what happens now then? Womb lining is still 8mm presumably, what does that mean? Gynae: Lets do another scan and see what it measures to see if it has thinned since the last scan. Me: I haven't had a bleed since I came off HRT which was when I had the scan, can it have magically got thinner without me bleeding? Gynae: Maybe. I don't want you on HRT until we have a scan, if it is still the same, I want a hysteroscopy.
Going around in circles with this. So whose freaking file was he looking at, because it sure as sh*t wasn't mine when he rang with the results of the hysteroscopy?!
So, had the pelvic scan a week ago, lining thickness the same (at least it's not worse). Now waiting for my GP to call so that she can refer me back to Gynae for a hysteroscopy so that we can do exactly what was supposed to have been done this time LAST year..
In the meantime, I have been looking at the different types of HRT available.. patches, gels, sprays, pessaries, pills, body identical.... if my head wasn't ready to explode before, it is now lol

So as I understand it, Oestrogen = helps with symptoms + Progesterone = protects the womb lining. Testerone might give me my mojo back but am I right in thinking this is not regulated for use in women? I want to be ready for when my GP calls... she is lovely, but she wanted to refer me to the PMB clinic to talk about which HRT to give me because she admits, she doesn't know what is best going forward. I was reading that Utrogestan Capsule daily + Oestrogel is a good combo and if I can get it, a pea sized testogel - or am I going to turn into a spotty, hairy, angry she beast? More than I am now I should add lol I have only ever been on femoston and then the patches for about 3 months, so I am unfamiliar with what works, or is it a case of suck it and see?
I need to be normal again. My hands are killing typing this, I can barely lift the kettle with water in it, I am getting 3 hours sleep if I am lucky, and I sometimes just stand for an hour looking at a job and not knowing what to do. And then there are the hot flushes that feel like I am being dipped upside into a volcano which make me feel sick/faint - I actually think the top of my head is going to explode some days. Sweat trickling off me wakes me up. My muscles feel weak, I have to put my hairdryer down so my arms can rest half way through drying my hair. I don't have long hair, I had it all cut off because I couldn't manage it, so it's above shoulder length now and I still have to put my arms down to rest. I am self employed, so when I can't work, I don't earn. Really, really, getting frustrated with knowing that most of this crap will go if I could just get some HRT going again. I sound like a druggie lol IF I could just get some HRT - I'll do anything, give you my first born!

Thank you in advance for any advice. Sorry for the rant. I got up early to wait for the call from the doc at 8.30am and you guys got both barrels